Sad VS Happy

The past weeks have been a complete mad house around here. There is so much to catch up on, so many pictures to show, so much to say! I don't know where to begin..
Let's start at the first thing on my heart, the sad vs happy. Please don't judge me for this post.. it is a very emotion filled one and may seem like an 'over reaction' to some but that is the point.
To start here though I have to catch you all up to speed.
Tony is in Texas. Not on a vacation without us, but he is working there, for three months. So there is the initial hurray! he found a job! Then there is the eww.. we live in Florida, that we love, that our families are here, that we never want to move. Then it's the oh it's only for three months. Well, it is a guaranteed income for three months so that is a great thing! We are hoping that it could turn into a job in Florida thing, but trying not to get ahead of ourselves. We are very excited about his opportunity. Tony is so glad to be the 'provider' again. He says he feels so glad to be able to 'take care of us' financially again. I am so proud of him, that is one thing that I always admire about Tony, he will always make sure we are taken care of. We will always have food and shelter.
This economy has defiantly taken it's toll on us the past year. I was thinking about it the other day...
when I have good days, positive thankful days, the days I feel God's strength, this is my story...
We had a lot of things, we lost a lot of things. We bonded together and we made it work. We never lost our friendship and in fact became even stronger through the hard time. Our daughter has been healthy, she is here with us, suffering no brain damage and for the times we thought she had a brain tumor she did not! We have a healthy happy baby boy. Who teaches me every day to just let things roll and not worry. We have so much to be thankful for. Even though we lost our things we never lost what matters most, our family and our faith.
On the bad days, the negative, doubtful days, the days the devil uses to drag me down, this is my story...
We lost everything we had when Tony lost his job, our house, our cars, we had to sell our things, Tony pawned his ring so we could buy groceries, I had to get a job so that we could afford health insurance to cover the rising medical bills that we were drowning in debt with, we borrowed money from our families, and now my husband has had to move across the country for a job to support us and we are split apart.
Two totally different takes on the same story huh? Can't believe what a foothold the devil can get if we really let him. I mean there is some harsh reality to the 'sad story' but the truth of the 'happy story' is really what I try and focus on.
It has been really hard, it all has been really hard. It has been hard to see him go to Texas. The joy in the blessing of him getting a job was almost over shadowed by the loneliness that I felt the day I drove home with those two little babies in there car seats.


The doubt that day swallowed me. I didn't even want to go home from the airport. When Tony left through the security gates we stayed at the airport and looked in all the stores. We stayed in the Sea World shop for thirty minutes as I contemplated using my toll money buy Sophia a doll and buy Troy a plastic shark. Then when we got off the free way we stopped to eat lunch, we went inside and sat together, the three of us, for close to two hours. I have never been so patient watching Sophi dip her spoon in a frosty and lick it like a lollipop, taking forever to eat that frosty which when she finished she could drink like a chocolate milk. Troy sat in his seat and folded his little hands saying "amen, amen" I knew God was reminding me to pray. I did. I got my courage and drove the rest of the way home. When we got to town I stopped at the grocery store, I made up some excuse, but I really just didn't want to go in that house without him. When we pulled into the driveway we sat outside and played with sidewalk chalk for close to an hour before I even put the key in the door. The reality really wasn't that bad. It was our house and just because he wasn't there in that moment didn't mean he was gone. I really had let the devil just run with my heart that day. I mean, it is ok to be sad, but this wasn't the end. It was the beginning for my family to start over. I put the kids down for there naps and prayed.
So Tony has only been gone for 5 days. He sends the kids videos and we send videos to him. It has been fun spending so much time with the kids. Everything is working out perfect. I am still working and will continue to work, we need the benefits. I have gone down to part time though and I like it much better.
Everything that I was worried about so far has gone very peaceful. The kids spending the night with my mom, they love it! I was worried that they would miss me and Tony, they do but my mom keeps them so entertained they hardly think of us :)
I was worried that they would be sad, they are, but I am helping Sophi deal with the heartache and she is ok. She cries sometimes and I let her. She told me the other night that she just wanted to hug him, she said 'I'll even close my eyes and not look if I could just touch him.' I felt my eyes get tearful and I swore I wouldn't cry about this in front of her.. I almost did. I told her it was ok to cry and be sad but Daddy really wanted her to be happy and enjoy this time with mommy and Troy and Mimi. I am soo glad that she can see him and touch him again. My heart breaks for those families who have children who can't see there parents again. But at 4 years old it doesn't make it any easier. She is happy and doing her best. I can now say from experience though that my family should never be separated. It doesn't work for us.
Troy doesn't really get it, he still thinks that Tony is flying around on the airplane somewhere. He only asks for him when he is screaming in time out and he is his typical laid back self. He is struggling through a stomach virus right now, which I pray Sophia and I don't get. I think it's just a 24 hour thing, he seemed much happier tonight than he did earlier today.
I got scared last night and Tony wasn't here to check the locks for me. I got scared and my mind started wandering... I felt myself beginning to think some very irrational thoughts.. I prayed for peace and I got it.
God has been so gracious to me this week. Now lets see if he'll protect me from Troy's stomach flu.
It is a roller coaster of emotions for sure. But we are doing ok.

I have so many pictures I want to share but I am saving them for another post.
Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween :) Love you all.

sickies and a birthday

Well, where have we been?
Troy, Sophi and Tony were sick for close to 10 days with the swine flu. Oh, how fabulous that was! They were so sick and I am so glad that they are better and that I didn't get it.
Sophia missed a week of school and Troy was hit hard with a high fever for close to five days straight.
Evey one is better now and just in time for Troy's 2nd Birthday!! Hurray!
Happy Birthday Troy Anthony.
My little boy turned two yesterday.
He walked around saying "it's ma day, it's ma day!" so cute!
He had a 'boys only super hero party'. Of course with his two girls cousins, sister, and his little buddies older sisters who were in attendance it wasn't really an all boy party- but it was great! He was dressed like the Hulk. who he calls "rah rah" and he ran around in his costume and had a best day ever!
Here are some pictures of Troy's Day.

He got the sandbox from his GiGi and the cake with Hulk was his 'rah rah cake' mommy worked hard on that because my cake lady moved to Jacksonville, doesn't look as good as hers but it tasted great :)






I am a proud mommy and I was so happy to tell him, "yes Troy today is your day"

Things I really say...

"Don't hit your sister with a shopping cart!" -to Troy

"Don't bite the dog" -to Troy

"Please don't eat your bugers" -to Troy

"Don't tell him you are 'going to rip him'" -to Sophi

"Don't drive your car on the tv screen." - to Troy

"You pooped play doh" -to Sophi

"Don't wipe your nose on my arm" -to Sophi

"Do not run mommy over with trucks" -to Troy

"Please don't eat food stuck on the bottom of the table" -to Troy

"Don't let the dog bite you" -to Troy

"Do not put your tongue on me" -to Sophi and Troy at the same time!

"Stop eating the couch" -to Troy

"We do not wash our hair in the potty water" -to Sophi

SHARE.. WHAT DO YOU REALLY SAY?

a very small rant...

I ran into the Dollar General yesterday. They had this cute little ironing board and iron set for kids, only it was pink and purple. I wasn't in the purchasing mood but Troy would have loved that set.. I would not have bought him a pink ironing board though. But why is the ironing board pink? Is an ironing board only meant for little girls?
Then they had a pink vacuum and a purple broom and dust pan. Now this is starting to bother me, then right next to it... a black grill with a grey little lounge chair.
They might as well sold this with a plastic 12 pack!!!

Is there something wrong with this?

I continued on my shopping and went over to Publix. I noticed something that has never occurred to me before this day... the "feminine products" and the "cleaning products" aisles are right next to each other. Oh how convenient for us women to have our tampons and our mildew remover so close together.

I continued shopping and I was over in the pancake aisle getting some syrup and I heard a man on his cell phone afew aisles over.. he was in with the "cleaning products"...
"well, if you would come to the store and do your own shopping we wouldn't have this problem"
He was obviously talking to his wife. It was my observation that he had probably gone shopping for her. Bought the wrong thing, and she sent him back to get the right thing, and he was going to give her a run for her money that he couldn't find it.
That was just my observation.. but my husband tells me that women are way more observant than men.

He was fussing at his wife for a few minutes. While I wondered over to this aisle to listen... I pretended to look for Comet as I listened. He continued to argue with her about how Publix must not carry the product she was looking for anymore and questioned her about using something else instead. I could hear her describing the products label to him, I looked over, I noticed as he argued with her, he wasn't even looking at the products on the shelf, he was just focusing on arguing with his wife. Had he stopped rolling his eyes he may have noticed the product directly in front of him.

She was looking for Scrubbing Bubbles

My husband has told me that men aren't good multitaskers... they can't argue on the phone and look for something at the same time.
While I was standing there with my two kids, listening to this man, while pretending to look busy, and checking off my list... it is possible I was on my cell phone at the time too, I found the product his wife was looking for.

I just grinned as the wife told him to forget it and she would come back and get it herself. He slammed the phone down and went to walk away. He probably thought to himself, "I taught her."
I picked up a can of scrubbing bubbles and handed it to him. I considered handing him Comet, which he probably would have trusted me that is the correct item, I felt I'd to a favor woman to woman and give him the correct item.

He looked at the can, looked at me, and said "thank you, see that's why women should do this stuff"

He totally meant this as a compliment but after the pink ironing board, pink iron, purple dust pan and purle broom at this point I didn't take it as one.

Maybe if we put the "cleaning products" with the beer men would better know the difference between scrubbing bubbles and soft scrub.

A way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Even a little man.

Troy loves it when I cook. He stands in the kitchen while I cook and hugs my legs saying, "Ummm momma, I luv you. Umm.. Momma"

This particular occasion I was cooking spaghetti for my dad's birthday. Troy moved his table to the counter climbed on the top to sneak a taste at the spaghetti sauce that was in the crock pot.




Troy, sweet, little guy.

If I have one request for his future wife... she better cook for him :) I have never seen a child so excited about home cooked foods. The way he acts you would think I never cooked for him. I cook all the time. He doesn't like frozen foods. If you try and give him a frozen dinner he will pick and look so longingly at his plate but if you slave away in the kitchen and make him meatloaf, steak and potatoes, grilled chicken salad.. he will clean the plate!

Sweet girl of mine, she is just as happy as a little clam as long as she has her Daddy's peanut butter and syrup sandwich.

no charger part 2

I found my charger!!
Want to know where?
In my mom's minivan.
Ready to know the weird part? I keep my laptop and the charger in a backpack that never leaves my room.
So, I am guessing I must have dropped it in there when Tony was in the hospital and the one time I took my backpack anywhere I must have dropped it out in her car while I was borrowing her van taking Tony clothes back and forth.
OK, yes, Tony was in the hospital. I know lots to catch up on...
He gave us quite a scare. We went to a CPR class together the day my laptop charger went missing. We like to stay current on this stuff, especially with Sophia Ann in our house, but really I believe that all parents need to be CPR certified when they leave the hospital with the little bundle of joy. Why worry about organic foods if you can't save your kid when they choke on a broccoli?? OK, I am going to get off this soap box.
Back to the story, we were at the CPR class and Tony said he was going to pass out. He never did but he turned many shades of grey and was feeling like he was going to puke. He had been doing this for a week and a half. He had even fainted in the doctors office the week earlier. Really passed out, the office called and told me that he was out for like a minute and they used smelling salts to get him back... I summed it up to a vagal nerve which causes some people to pass out when they get there blood drawn but he has never done this before.
This time I told him we were leaving the CPR class and going to the ER where I work so they could check him out. It would have been pretty cool to have a non responsive patient in the CPR class though :) I would have been the one doing the mouth to mouth though.
They checked him out and told us that he had an abnormal EKG and the doctor admitted him to the cardiac floor with a heart monitor and ordered some tests. It was very nerve racking to think that there was something wrong with his heart. I kept thinking about Jen and Shawn and he importance of early prevention of heart problems. They kept him over night and I called numerous times checking on him. I was supposed to work that night and would have loved to work just one floor above him but I had to stay home with the kiddos. In the morning the greatest cardiologist I know came in to see him and talked to him, sent him for an Echo of his heart but told him that his EKG looked fine and it wasn't that "abnormal" -still waiting to figure out what that means but sounds like relief to me! I got to the hospital and saw the doctor in the lobby he said he didn't realize Tony was my husband, I said "I told him to tell you!" So next time someone says "tell Dr. so and so, I'm your friend", you better tell them! He said that Tony's heart was fine! but he did think that he had diabetes and that it has been undiagnosed and that is why he has been feeling so poorly. Not eating properly for a diabetic. If he changes his diet he should be able to control the symptoms and stablize his blood sugar.
So far he has surprised me and done really great with his eating. He goes to the doctor tomorrow for a follow up appointment with our family doctor and he should be sent for the glucose test that all us preggers get to do :) Fun!
Anyway, that is his hospital story. Glad it turned out not to be his heart and he should be just fine.
Now, cold/flu season is here! I was calling the doctor this morning to make appointments for the kids to get flu-mist and then Little Miss Sophi woke up this morning sick. With a fever of 103.1, snotty, coughing, feeling like crap. Troy has been a grumpy boy this afternoon so I hope he isn't getting sick. I always worry when Sophi has fevers because of the febrile seizures that she is so prone too. She said that she had a seizure last night, but I don't think I believe her, she usually doesn't remember them. :) She will be sleeping with a monitor tonight just so I can keep a closer eye on her. Praying for no seizures tonight.
She has only ever had three daytime seizures so I worry more about night, maybe it's the dark and that she hates sleeping in the bed with us so I can't keep an eye on her. I think she knows I worry and she purposely tries to stay away from me :) Little Stinker!
We had a busy weekend. My aunt from Miami came into town for a short visit on Saturday. My family came over for a spagetti dinner on Sunday night for my dad's birthday. Troy's 2nd Birthday is right around the corner on the 18th. So much going on!!
We are very blessed with full lives, lots of friends and family.
Speaking of friends and family.. the newest arrival in our circle of friends. My good friend Kati had her new baby Cadence Olivia, aka "little Monkette", they are all monkey's in that family! A perfect little bundle of joy! Congratulations Momma Monkey, Big Monkey, and Little Monkey!!!!

four not fourteen

I have a, newly turned, four year old, not a fourteen year old! What is wrong with her lately!!??
She is so bossy, moody, it is like toddler PMS.
This morning I was getting her dressed and everything I pick out for her doesn't match or isn't cute enough. My word! When did my little girl become such a fashionesta!? I guess my whole life I have been mismatching my clothes and apparently I have never looked cute.
Let me just remind her how she choose to dress herself just a few short years ago...



She would gasp! She has always had a mind of her own. Yes, she wore this get up to the grocery store one afternoon. But I did insist that she wear her shoes and not her daddy's. What would she say if she knew I let her go out like that.. haha! This is defiantly going to be one of those senior yearbook pictures!

This morning upon request I put a braid in her hair. She ran to the mirror to look at it when I was finished and started screaming in the bathroom. I ran in thinking she had gotten hurt some how. There she was staring into the mirror screaming in horror at the sight of one little stray hair that was too short to fit into the braid. For those of you who braid little girls hair.. you know that at this age there are lots of those little short baby hairs, she is lucky it was just one that was poking out. I smoothed it down with some water and she ran into my bathroom for the hair spray. I considered ignoring her request but you know her hair is really important to her. So I went ahead and helped her.

It brought back memories of her first haircut. She ran to look in the mirror and started screaming, you cut all my hair off!! We cut like three inches. She slept with her swept up hair in a ziploc bag for three nights after that incident. Since then she has had her hair cut once.

My sweet darling fourteen year old, I mean four year old. <3

no laptop charger...

Poor Poor Pitiful Me! I lost my laptop charger.. I am using Tony's computer right now. I don't know what to do!!!?? It is really lost. I don't know where it went. I never take my laptop out of the house so I have no idea where it went!!!?? You can bet tomorrow I will be searching high and low for that thing! Hope everyone is doing well.
Love you All.

Show and Tell

My little darlings- Troy is starting to look like a little man to me ;) I love his hair!!! and Sophi, always the little mother!



Show and Tell was my favorite thing about preschool I remember after kindergarten I was so sad that there was no more show and tell. Once my mom even brought my pony for show and tell and gave all the kids rides on him! So, now my darling daughter has show and tell, every Thursday and it has to go with the theme for the week. Last week was the first show and tell, this week was their "A" week. She insisted on bring a black stuffed cat, how appropriate. I told her that is was supposed to go with the letter "a" and then I made a "AAA-" sound.
I hinted that, "AAA-, apple starts with A, can you think of something else maybe to bring that starts with a?"
"I'll bring my cat." She said.
"OK Sophi do you understand that cat, CCC-, cat starts with C, not AAA-, A right?"
"Yeah, mommy, but you and daddy are AAA- allergic to cats."
I guess she is smarter than I am. So she took her cat to school and told everyone that she loves her cat, it is the only cat she can have because her mommy and daddy are AAA- allergic to cats.
This week is shapes and colors week, I wonder what she will bring this week!? I am going to over my pumpkin with the triangle shaped eyes but I don't know what she will decide to bring and ultimately it is her choice.

This would be my show and tell, I bought this on clearance at Lowes, it so sooo dying. I do NOT have a green thumb, but I managed to bring this back to life! So pretty!


Troy had tumbling today. We took Sophi to school and then went to his gymnastics class. He loved it. He bumped his head on my tooth while we were stretching though and cried a little bit about that. I am the one who should have been crying though, my tooth still hurts.
Last week we missed the beginning and he was so confused when they first got out on the floor and started running... he ran by me fussing for me to hold his hand. He was looking around at all the kids and holding my hand so tightly while we ran with the class.

This is why Troy is so good in gymnastics, he's a monkey! Here he is climbing the fence at church and my arm reaching to grab his shorts as Tony flashed a picture.. yes, he was shirtless at church! He is such a rebel!!


Sophi has gymnastics tonight. I have lots of laundry to fold. Tomorrow I am working, in the morning however my mom is coming to stay wtih Troy and take Sophi to school because Tony and I are going to get recertified in CPR. We both were certified and we both let it lapse, it is a requirement for my job at the hosptial so we are going together to take the course in the morning.

Then I am working for a long stretch. I unsually work 3/12 hour shifts from 7pm-7am.. this week I am working 4 days on 1 day or 1 day on. Reson being.. Tony is leaving for TN next week and I need to work my two weeks worth of nights in 6 days. Then me and the kids for 5 days without Daddy. We are already dreading him being gone, Sophi told me she doesn't want him to fly away. I told her he will fly back :) The kids love airplanes and Sophi says she wants to fly with him. She may try to go in his suitcase. :)

My kids love their Daddy.. here they are in Sophi's bed before bedtime.. Troy was reading a book.. LOL


OK, well, off to finish that laundry!!!

blogs blogs and more blogs...

So I have had another blog for a while now.. it is one that I use to remember little humorous stories about the kids, to vent frustrations about motherhood. It has had many names and now I have finally figured out how to import it to link it to this blog. So... barefoot with a baby on my hip is up and going. Check it out.
For those of you who had it saved under 'angry housewife' that blog no long exists - some of you have asked where it went and I can honestly say that I don't know what I did to it!!?? I couldn't access it either!? Oh well, I got it figured out now... although there is a new name and new web address. ;)