Showing posts with label from the momma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label from the momma. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Why no blogs since March?
Recently I made my blog, public on facebook, mostly so friends and family could keep up with what we were up too. We have many family members who live far away and for them I like to share photos and stories. It was then that I realized how many people I was putting myself out there too. People I hadn't spoken with in years were reading about my family and many of them because they care but others for other reasons. I have since removed that facebook option. I will still share our lives on my blog, but I will continue to do so but with much more discretion.
You see the new age of social media makes my head hurt. I want my children to feel emotions not learn to show 'emocions'. I want to led by example that thank you notes should be handwritten and sent in the mail, not a status update on facebook. Invitations should be directed to those you love and care about, not mass emails to whoever will show up. The privacy of this life is being stripped away and God has spoken to my heart that this is important to my family. It may be a far cry from the days of my blogs when I spoke about transparency and being real, but I ask you to understand that my thoughts are clear and being real isn't blogging about a dirty kitchen... or laundry piled on the couch, we all have that. Being real is sharing my convictions, my heart and how God is working in our lives.
I'm not sure what will come of my blog, like I said, I love sharing, I love the quiet time my blog provides me with to reflect but I am learning that I don't have to do this over a keyboard for everyone to see.
Friday, March 23, 2012
contentment
on a good morning....
i am up with the sun, waking walk across the hall into the school room and wrap myself in the cozy throw blanket, walk down the hall into the kitchen make a cup of coffee while I read my morning devotional...
then i make breakfast for my man, who is already in the shower getting ready for a hard day at work...
the oldest hears daddy getting ready and wakes up bright and joyful ready to start her day...
with breakfast on the table the kids and i share plans for the day...
tony heads off to work and the kids and i begin our chores and schooling for the day...
NOT!!!
It never happens this way, maybe once a month, twice if something really exciting is going on...
It never happens this way!!
And to be honest.... I don't want it too.
I get it, some of you are morning people, you wake up and your morning is blessed by making breakfast and morning devotionals, gathering your thoughts and plans for the day before the busy begins....
me... I'm a night owl, maybe it was the year and a half I worked night shift 7pm-7am but I am a night person. I go to bed around 12 or 1am, I like to wake up about 8....
no one in my house likes to eat breakfast, so why would I get up slave away in the kitchen when Tony says breakfast too early makes him nauseous, Troy is like me and if he is allowed will sleep well past 9am and Sophia is more than content with a bagel with cream cheese!?
As far as morning devotionals go... devotionals are important. Whoever, put the word morning in front of devotional wasn't thinking about us night people... and I'm certain there are people like me out there... most mornings I can't remember how to make a cup of coffee much less read a morning devotional, too much thinking in the morning gives me a headache... I want to read a devotional when I'm good and awake, ready to absorb those heavenly words... not when I'm rubbing crust out of my eyes, I usually read my devotional at night when the house is quiet and their isn't any pressing chores to do.
So, how do our mornings go?
Well, let's start with the nights....
I like doing laundry, dishes and those chores at night. So typically, we have dinner no one cleans the kitchen right away- that time is reserved for family. Tony rolls on the living room floor with the kids or they watch a special show, tonight it was a Discovery documentary about sea creatures, the boys watched it while Sophia and I sang songs in her bed and played with her guitar. Then I fight them to brush their teeth before bed and we end every night with their special lullabies and prayer. While I'm doing that Tony is normally taking a shower. Once the kids are in bed that is quality time for me and Tony, we spend a few hours, till around 10 together, talking about our day, watching movies, then off to sleep he goes. That is when I have my "5am Time" about 10pm every night. I read a devotional, get online to check emails, blogs, whatever. Then the chores begin, I pick up the kitchen, laundry and enjoy the quiet of the house. This is my favorite time of day, knowing my family is home, everyone is safe, peaceful quiet time.
Then come morning, my guy wakes up his coffee is set for him... I don't have to get up and make his breakfast for him to know I'm thinking of him, I usually write him a love note right before I go to sleep wishing him a good day.
The only thing about the above story that is true- is that Sophia does usually hear Tony getting ready and she always wakes up bright and happy ready to start her day.
She is my early bird, she normally will get herself breakfast and doing some learning activities on the computer- she likes this time in the morning. Tony tells me she flits around enjoying it being just the two of them.
I usually wake up around 8am as Tony is running out the door. I used to scold myself for this, not being up and dressed to see him out... but I realized a while ago and I'm realizing more and more everyday... all families are different... so often in our culture with social medias documenting and publizing every area of our life (yes, just like my blog) we so easily fall victim to comparing ourselves with others and some of us victim to thinking our way is best.
Oh, she does this and she does that... her way is better... I love learning new ways and sometimes something someone else does is good and it may work better... but I don't believe it is healthy or necessary to put "good" and "right" in a box when it comes to our families...
Families do what works best for them. For my family, for me, momma sleeping in till 8am does a world of good for everyone. In another season in my life I'm sure getting up early may be my thing... but right now, I'm striving from contentment. I'm happy to have my "5am Time" at 10pm.
i am up with the sun, waking walk across the hall into the school room and wrap myself in the cozy throw blanket, walk down the hall into the kitchen make a cup of coffee while I read my morning devotional...
then i make breakfast for my man, who is already in the shower getting ready for a hard day at work...
the oldest hears daddy getting ready and wakes up bright and joyful ready to start her day...
with breakfast on the table the kids and i share plans for the day...
tony heads off to work and the kids and i begin our chores and schooling for the day...
NOT!!!
It never happens this way, maybe once a month, twice if something really exciting is going on...
It never happens this way!!
And to be honest.... I don't want it too.
I get it, some of you are morning people, you wake up and your morning is blessed by making breakfast and morning devotionals, gathering your thoughts and plans for the day before the busy begins....
me... I'm a night owl, maybe it was the year and a half I worked night shift 7pm-7am but I am a night person. I go to bed around 12 or 1am, I like to wake up about 8....
no one in my house likes to eat breakfast, so why would I get up slave away in the kitchen when Tony says breakfast too early makes him nauseous, Troy is like me and if he is allowed will sleep well past 9am and Sophia is more than content with a bagel with cream cheese!?
As far as morning devotionals go... devotionals are important. Whoever, put the word morning in front of devotional wasn't thinking about us night people... and I'm certain there are people like me out there... most mornings I can't remember how to make a cup of coffee much less read a morning devotional, too much thinking in the morning gives me a headache... I want to read a devotional when I'm good and awake, ready to absorb those heavenly words... not when I'm rubbing crust out of my eyes, I usually read my devotional at night when the house is quiet and their isn't any pressing chores to do.
So, how do our mornings go?
Well, let's start with the nights....
I like doing laundry, dishes and those chores at night. So typically, we have dinner no one cleans the kitchen right away- that time is reserved for family. Tony rolls on the living room floor with the kids or they watch a special show, tonight it was a Discovery documentary about sea creatures, the boys watched it while Sophia and I sang songs in her bed and played with her guitar. Then I fight them to brush their teeth before bed and we end every night with their special lullabies and prayer. While I'm doing that Tony is normally taking a shower. Once the kids are in bed that is quality time for me and Tony, we spend a few hours, till around 10 together, talking about our day, watching movies, then off to sleep he goes. That is when I have my "5am Time" about 10pm every night. I read a devotional, get online to check emails, blogs, whatever. Then the chores begin, I pick up the kitchen, laundry and enjoy the quiet of the house. This is my favorite time of day, knowing my family is home, everyone is safe, peaceful quiet time.
Then come morning, my guy wakes up his coffee is set for him... I don't have to get up and make his breakfast for him to know I'm thinking of him, I usually write him a love note right before I go to sleep wishing him a good day.
The only thing about the above story that is true- is that Sophia does usually hear Tony getting ready and she always wakes up bright and happy ready to start her day.
She is my early bird, she normally will get herself breakfast and doing some learning activities on the computer- she likes this time in the morning. Tony tells me she flits around enjoying it being just the two of them.
I usually wake up around 8am as Tony is running out the door. I used to scold myself for this, not being up and dressed to see him out... but I realized a while ago and I'm realizing more and more everyday... all families are different... so often in our culture with social medias documenting and publizing every area of our life (yes, just like my blog) we so easily fall victim to comparing ourselves with others and some of us victim to thinking our way is best.
Oh, she does this and she does that... her way is better... I love learning new ways and sometimes something someone else does is good and it may work better... but I don't believe it is healthy or necessary to put "good" and "right" in a box when it comes to our families...
Families do what works best for them. For my family, for me, momma sleeping in till 8am does a world of good for everyone. In another season in my life I'm sure getting up early may be my thing... but right now, I'm striving from contentment. I'm happy to have my "5am Time" at 10pm.
Monday, February 6, 2012
hard part
Today was ruff day, no pun intended ;)
We miss Molly girl, even though we didn't get to see her everyday as we couldn't steal her away from the farm, knowing she's not running down the dirt road to swim in the water trough on a hot day makes me sad.
There is a running joke in our family that when a tradegy strikes mom won't tell us kids until weeks later. From the time we were little it's been this way.
When my pony died when I was little, she told me for weeks that he was on the other side of the property.
When my dog died she tried for days to tell us that she was down at the barn.. failing to mention she was buried at the barn.
Even when our great grandma died, she didn't tell us until after the funeral, she wrote it under 'deaths' in our bible and handed it back to us during the communion at church.
She just has never been good at passing on bad news... if we weren't there to hear about it right away she didn't tell us, not right away anyway.
So, when mom called me this morning she said, "I know you say I never tell you, so I'm telling you..." and the tears came I knew... she didn't even have to say it. I knew Molly wasn't going to make it.
It's ok mom, you don't have too...
As I gathered myself I knew I was going to have to face my own sweet ones and let them know Molly had died.
I tried three times to walk out of my room, down the hall to the living room where they were watching cartoons.
Three times I turned back and sat on the bed, crying...
and then laughing.. thinking to myself... this is why she didn't tell us.
I could seriously go about my day and just not tell them.
But I did... they met me down the hall and before I could even finish the sentence Sophia said, "Molly died huh!?"
Yes baby, she didn't make it.
Sophia melted onto the floor crying and Troy just stood there finally saying, "Today is a berry sad day Momma"
Lots of tears shed for a really great dog today.
And tonight I tucked them in and Sophia started to cry again and I thought...
yep, this is why she wouldn't tell us... she wanted us to be happy all the time...
sweet momma, we all laugh at you but I understand.. it is the hard part.
We miss Molly girl, even though we didn't get to see her everyday as we couldn't steal her away from the farm, knowing she's not running down the dirt road to swim in the water trough on a hot day makes me sad.
There is a running joke in our family that when a tradegy strikes mom won't tell us kids until weeks later. From the time we were little it's been this way.
When my pony died when I was little, she told me for weeks that he was on the other side of the property.
When my dog died she tried for days to tell us that she was down at the barn.. failing to mention she was buried at the barn.
Even when our great grandma died, she didn't tell us until after the funeral, she wrote it under 'deaths' in our bible and handed it back to us during the communion at church.
She just has never been good at passing on bad news... if we weren't there to hear about it right away she didn't tell us, not right away anyway.
So, when mom called me this morning she said, "I know you say I never tell you, so I'm telling you..." and the tears came I knew... she didn't even have to say it. I knew Molly wasn't going to make it.
It's ok mom, you don't have too...
As I gathered myself I knew I was going to have to face my own sweet ones and let them know Molly had died.
I tried three times to walk out of my room, down the hall to the living room where they were watching cartoons.
Three times I turned back and sat on the bed, crying...
and then laughing.. thinking to myself... this is why she didn't tell us.
I could seriously go about my day and just not tell them.
But I did... they met me down the hall and before I could even finish the sentence Sophia said, "Molly died huh!?"
Yes baby, she didn't make it.
Sophia melted onto the floor crying and Troy just stood there finally saying, "Today is a berry sad day Momma"
Lots of tears shed for a really great dog today.
And tonight I tucked them in and Sophia started to cry again and I thought...
yep, this is why she wouldn't tell us... she wanted us to be happy all the time...
sweet momma, we all laugh at you but I understand.. it is the hard part.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
something to pray for
Some exciting things are happening in the life of our girl.
I don't want to share just yet but I am asking you to be in prayer for a big trip we are taking at the end of this month.
It's just me and the kids, I'm a bit nervous about traveling alone with them, being away from Tony for a whole 6 days (not my thing).
But I know this will be good, my mom says it's an answer to prayers.
I'm not ready yet to post the who/what/where/when and why but I will say that the last few days have been peaceful ones and we are preparing our hearts and our minds for the days ahead.
"Sophi-girl" is a blessing to our home. I treasure her, although I don't always understand her. She is stronger than she knows, stronger than most people realize. Her life, very the first moments challenged me to accept that things won't always go my way, my plan may not be His plan and that is ok.
With this trip we are seeking options, answers and understanding.
A second opinion so to speak... it will be good. It's going to be good.
Tonight I'm nervous, I've been peaceful and I'm hoping that peace returns.
Asking for prayers.
I don't want to share just yet but I am asking you to be in prayer for a big trip we are taking at the end of this month.
It's just me and the kids, I'm a bit nervous about traveling alone with them, being away from Tony for a whole 6 days (not my thing).
But I know this will be good, my mom says it's an answer to prayers.
I'm not ready yet to post the who/what/where/when and why but I will say that the last few days have been peaceful ones and we are preparing our hearts and our minds for the days ahead.
"Sophi-girl" is a blessing to our home. I treasure her, although I don't always understand her. She is stronger than she knows, stronger than most people realize. Her life, very the first moments challenged me to accept that things won't always go my way, my plan may not be His plan and that is ok.
With this trip we are seeking options, answers and understanding.
A second opinion so to speak... it will be good. It's going to be good.
Tonight I'm nervous, I've been peaceful and I'm hoping that peace returns.
Asking for prayers.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
God is stronger
Tucking them in bed...
After I sing, we pray, she looks up at me and says, "Momma, God told me the devil is getting stronger"
Deep breath...
"Yes it does seem that way sometimes"
Deep breath again...
"But God is stronger than the devil so we don't have to be afraid, we need to be aware but not afraid"
I remind myself she is only 6 don't take this over her head.
I kiss her goodnight and walk out of her room.
A silent prayer is lifted up asking God to protect them from Satan's schemes. Keep their eyes on Him throughout their life. Help us grow them strong in faith and mighty in spirit, teaching them the word and living the example for them.
I always pray that God will bless them, that they will continue to grow and lead people to Jesus...
but this prayer was different. This prayer was direct and God told my girl, to tell me, to ask Him for these things.
In Jesus name we pray... amen.
PS: The devil is getting stronger, pray for your children... all children.
After I sing, we pray, she looks up at me and says, "Momma, God told me the devil is getting stronger"
Deep breath...
"Yes it does seem that way sometimes"
Deep breath again...
"But God is stronger than the devil so we don't have to be afraid, we need to be aware but not afraid"
I remind myself she is only 6 don't take this over her head.
I kiss her goodnight and walk out of her room.
A silent prayer is lifted up asking God to protect them from Satan's schemes. Keep their eyes on Him throughout their life. Help us grow them strong in faith and mighty in spirit, teaching them the word and living the example for them.
I always pray that God will bless them, that they will continue to grow and lead people to Jesus...
but this prayer was different. This prayer was direct and God told my girl, to tell me, to ask Him for these things.
In Jesus name we pray... amen.
PS: The devil is getting stronger, pray for your children... all children.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
miserable failure...
the kind that puts a lump in your throat and a tightness in your chest...
the humbling failure that makes you fall on your face at His feet...
begging Him to right your wrong...
a momma sized failure...
A late night filled with joy and the spirit
They came in a bundle of excitement...
carefree and wild... just how I love them.
But I was tired and just wanted to fall into my bed...
that's not how it works for momma though.
As they ran down the hall applesauce, dirt and filth was the trail the left behind.
These feet I love coating with lotion and kiss before bedtime...
these tiny toes made a huge mess...
and I responded miserably...
I groaned and complained, I raised my voice and my emotions got the best of me...
call it what you will...
it was awful...
On my hands and knees wiping up mess while a curly headed boy stood by tears in his eyes and lip puckered...
sad at his momma's words and actions...
As I crawled along the floor wiping up the mess I found myself face to face with that little lip and tear filled eyes...
Oh God what have I done!?
I scooped him up quick but the damage was done...
That's the thing about words, once they are out they cannot be taken back in
I put him in the tub and fell on the ground in shame, face pressed the the ground in the bathroom of all places I prayed for God to take back...
He doesn't work that way though...
She always says "fragile hearts"
We must be so aware... ever present...
I must try harder...
I never want to forget...
I have to remember.
God, please help me remember.
the humbling failure that makes you fall on your face at His feet...
begging Him to right your wrong...
a momma sized failure...
A late night filled with joy and the spirit
They came in a bundle of excitement...
carefree and wild... just how I love them.
But I was tired and just wanted to fall into my bed...
that's not how it works for momma though.
As they ran down the hall applesauce, dirt and filth was the trail the left behind.
These feet I love coating with lotion and kiss before bedtime...
these tiny toes made a huge mess...
and I responded miserably...
I groaned and complained, I raised my voice and my emotions got the best of me...
call it what you will...
it was awful...
On my hands and knees wiping up mess while a curly headed boy stood by tears in his eyes and lip puckered...
sad at his momma's words and actions...
As I crawled along the floor wiping up the mess I found myself face to face with that little lip and tear filled eyes...
Oh God what have I done!?
I scooped him up quick but the damage was done...
That's the thing about words, once they are out they cannot be taken back in
I put him in the tub and fell on the ground in shame, face pressed the the ground in the bathroom of all places I prayed for God to take back...
He doesn't work that way though...
She always says "fragile hearts"
We must be so aware... ever present...
I must try harder...
I never want to forget...
I have to remember.
God, please help me remember.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Welcome to Holland
I've heard mixed reviews about this poem but whenever I'm feeling blue it always lifts my spirits so I decided to share.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
New way of doing things...
I wrote this and questioned posting it. Often times I write drafts but never publish them to my blog... I didn't want to come off braggy or spoiled.. but as I reread it tonight I think it's worth sharing. During this difficult economic time it is hard to see families falling apart because of things of this world, we could have been one of those families but by the GRACE of an awesome God our hearts were transformed. This is part of our story and I decided to share...
Wow! How spoiled are we...
We have officially moved into the new place.
I have been impressed with us, making the much smaller living quarters work for our family.
The joy of being home owners and moving toward serious financial freedom has made the pitfalls of this transition so much easier.
A new way of thinking...
Although we would have loved to get all new stainless steel appliances for the house the reality was we had about $200 cash (not wanting to use credit) and needed an oven, microwave, refrigerator, washer and dryer...
I had just about figured out that we could get by with a fridge, microwave and washing machine for the first few months.
I have to brag on Tony because he really made some great finds...
microwave -$5
oven -$60
refrigerator -$75
washer and dryer -free (I think it did cost about $10 for the new tubing to make them work)
and $20 gas to pick up the great finds with my grandpa's truck.
I'm sure God had a hand in those great finds!! Call me crazy but I can totally see God in every facet of this move, the change in our thinking, the joy in the midst of something that before we would have responded with stress and question what we were thinking with this move- honestly we probably would have never even considered this move. How foolish we were.
I let the desires of this world influence my wants... quickly realizing that they might not be realistic. I returned a handful of items from some prior purchases and was able to purchase light fixtures for every room and a new fan to replace the one that didn't work in the living room as well a storage solutions and a few flowers for the front entrance that made the house feel like home.
Under bed storage has become my answer for most storage solutions in our new smaller space.
The pest issues.. not very grateful for that, but thankful that the spiders as big as my face are gone and we are still working on the roaches... palmetto bugs.. whatever they are called- they are creepy and gross.. now they come out dead or dying but I'll be glad when I don't see them anymore, ewww..
I just hope this cool weather stays until we can get the A/C guy out to let us know why the air conditioner won't turn on correctly.
All these little pitfalls would have seemed so overwhelming at one time.
I found myself lining the 28 year old cabinets thinking how much I missed my big kitchen, with the new clean built in stove top and custom cabinets.
God quickly transformed those thoughts into realizing the blessing of contact paper.. such an amazing material and really helped transform those old things.
While for a moment I considered the fact that my master bedroom could have easily fit inside my old bathroom... I found joy in the $avings of the small space and the low utility costs when compared to our big house.
I have found the joy in it all... from sharing a bathroom with the kids to being the dishwasher... it is true that it's good for the soul to wash dishes.
As Tony celebrated the victory of fixing the leak in the free washing machine I found myself thankful that we ran out of the wood floors and the soapy water mess was on my remnant vinyl floor (I got for $25) instead of the wood.
I love this house... this broken... old... little... house... that with a little work and a lot of love is becoming beautiful, maybe it's a lot of work and a lot of love...
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15
Wow! How spoiled are we...
We have officially moved into the new place.
I have been impressed with us, making the much smaller living quarters work for our family.
The joy of being home owners and moving toward serious financial freedom has made the pitfalls of this transition so much easier.
A new way of thinking...
Although we would have loved to get all new stainless steel appliances for the house the reality was we had about $200 cash (not wanting to use credit) and needed an oven, microwave, refrigerator, washer and dryer...
I had just about figured out that we could get by with a fridge, microwave and washing machine for the first few months.
I have to brag on Tony because he really made some great finds...
microwave -$5
oven -$60
refrigerator -$75
washer and dryer -free (I think it did cost about $10 for the new tubing to make them work)
and $20 gas to pick up the great finds with my grandpa's truck.
I'm sure God had a hand in those great finds!! Call me crazy but I can totally see God in every facet of this move, the change in our thinking, the joy in the midst of something that before we would have responded with stress and question what we were thinking with this move- honestly we probably would have never even considered this move. How foolish we were.
I let the desires of this world influence my wants... quickly realizing that they might not be realistic. I returned a handful of items from some prior purchases and was able to purchase light fixtures for every room and a new fan to replace the one that didn't work in the living room as well a storage solutions and a few flowers for the front entrance that made the house feel like home.
Under bed storage has become my answer for most storage solutions in our new smaller space.
The pest issues.. not very grateful for that, but thankful that the spiders as big as my face are gone and we are still working on the roaches... palmetto bugs.. whatever they are called- they are creepy and gross.. now they come out dead or dying but I'll be glad when I don't see them anymore, ewww..
I just hope this cool weather stays until we can get the A/C guy out to let us know why the air conditioner won't turn on correctly.
All these little pitfalls would have seemed so overwhelming at one time.
I found myself lining the 28 year old cabinets thinking how much I missed my big kitchen, with the new clean built in stove top and custom cabinets.
God quickly transformed those thoughts into realizing the blessing of contact paper.. such an amazing material and really helped transform those old things.
While for a moment I considered the fact that my master bedroom could have easily fit inside my old bathroom... I found joy in the $avings of the small space and the low utility costs when compared to our big house.
I have found the joy in it all... from sharing a bathroom with the kids to being the dishwasher... it is true that it's good for the soul to wash dishes.
As Tony celebrated the victory of fixing the leak in the free washing machine I found myself thankful that we ran out of the wood floors and the soapy water mess was on my remnant vinyl floor (I got for $25) instead of the wood.
I love this house... this broken... old... little... house... that with a little work and a lot of love is becoming beautiful, maybe it's a lot of work and a lot of love...
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15
Friday, January 6, 2012
for my very brave one
So often we focus on what is wrong,
we see the negatives,
we all do it,
the mountains seem so large sometimes,
so large we can't see what lies on the other side,
sometimes they seem to be all consuming,
but I challenge myself to see different.
To see the beauty in it all,
I hear the passion in her scream,
I see the tenacity in her personality,
the compassion in her gestures as she touches and talks to others.
My very brave one.
I see her like the Father,
acknowledging the struggle,
but not letting it cloud the view,
This life is hard sometimes but every day is a gift.
My desire is that we don't let the size of the mountain keep us from seeing the beauty.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Romans 8:28
we see the negatives,
we all do it,
the mountains seem so large sometimes,
so large we can't see what lies on the other side,
sometimes they seem to be all consuming,
but I challenge myself to see different.
To see the beauty in it all,
I hear the passion in her scream,
I see the tenacity in her personality,
the compassion in her gestures as she touches and talks to others.
My very brave one.
I see her like the Father,
acknowledging the struggle,
but not letting it cloud the view,
This life is hard sometimes but every day is a gift.
My desire is that we don't let the size of the mountain keep us from seeing the beauty.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Romans 8:28
Thursday, December 29, 2011
new
A new year is coming, I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, but I do like to look back and contemplate the year that we are leaving and excite in the year ahead.
I always pray that I am better than before, growing as a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, stranger
I believe we should never stop growing, learning and exploring.
Looking forward I can feel Him leading us, as a family, we have answered His call and He is leading... and we are growing...
As I think about taking His path, I think back, back when we weren't following.
I don't like to look back on that time...
But then I recall why it is important to look back, so we can learn from what was and rejoice in what is...
I look back to remember what was, knowing where I have been, acknowledging the change and accepting the blessing.
We were so young, so bright, everything going our way...
our way, not His way, but He wasn't going to let us know just yet.
He was subtle, little pushes every now and then, He was calling we just weren't listening.
Life was "perfect", we bought our dream house, had a little girl and big plans to fill our home with lots of children, love and laughter.
Things were going great, we were busy making a family and creating memories... everything we thought we were supposed to do.
Our families were happy for us, proud even. Our friends loved spending time with us.
We went on vacations, hosted parties, went to extravagant dinners, we helped those less fortunate but never gave until it hurt.
It happened so quickly... so quickly that it hurt.
It was like the chaos after the earthquake, when everyone scrambles around trying to do what they think they need to do to survive.
There was very little keeping up with appearances, quickly it was over, every thing gone.
We moved three times in four months, we sold most everything we had to keep food on the table, keep the electric on and pay medical bills, there were days I wondered why God would do this, didn't He care about us?
That's the blessing in looking back...
He was calling, He was calling over and over again asking us nicely to answer, when we wouldn't He came banging on our door, He wanted us to grow, the growing pains hurt but eventually we would answer His calls.
We never went without, we always had food, when we lost all transportation we were blessed with a white van that has not failed us yet, minus a few hiccups. He was carrying us, meeting every need, yet at that point in our lives, we had to re-learn what needs were.
Our needs for shelter, food, family, healthcare, God... we never went without. It hurt sometimes but we never went without.
I never look back wishing we would have done things differently because everything we did helped us get to where we are now.
He leads, and though I sometimes fall, I fall at the feet of my Father, who picks me up lets me try again. He is always good, ever present, He wants good for me and good for me is to answer Him, follow Him, let Him lead.
When I was ready to walk away from everything I knew, He was there, providing us with mentors, no doubt these people were heaven sent from Him to bless us.
When we tired on our own, but couldn't afford medicine for our little one, He provided it for us, the pharmacist with a white mustache and a heart the size of Texas, I will never forget the blessing.
When we needed a stable place to stay, He provided, and humbled us at the same time, when our neighbor's rental house came available.
Time and time again He provided and He still does. Only now, our eyes are on Him and the evidence is clear, before it seemed by chance. Now we grow in Him...
And when we were ready for Him, He was there, with a place that was perfect for us and church family for us to grow with.
As time has gone by I realize how far I walked from the Father. I thought I was doing everything right.
I was a faithful wife, raising a beautiful baby girl, living in my dream home, opening my doors to guests, supporting charities and giving to those less fortunate, I wasn't a bad person I was just no different than the rest of them and He wants us to be different, as we grow we are supposed to be different.
It is shameful to remember that person, the one who ran when the problems got to big, the one who had to loose it all to learn what was really important... but so thankful that He is forgiving, merciful and no matter how rotten we are His love is constant and He does watch out for His children.
I never want to be content again, always growing in Him.
I don't share this because you must go through some life shattering event to find Him, it's just that as this year comes to close and we are picking up the pieces putting together a new life. I am just so thankful that He choose to break it all, to break me, so that I could find Him. He truly does want us to bring the brokenness to Him and He really does make it whole and good again. I would go through the growing pains again to be here today.
A new year, a new home, a new start... and this little house, in this little town, is far greater than the "dream house" we left behind three years ago.
Because this home was prayed for and unlike our "dream home" this was not by our will but His. This was for a reason, this is where we are supposed to be, this is where we are supposed to be to grow...
Tony said it best, "I feel God lead us here." Never before in our lives have we felt lead the way we are being lead now and it is because we are growing, ever growing in Him. And when we let go of our own desires and submit to Him great things can happen.
I can't wait to see what He has done this time next year.
I always pray that I am better than before, growing as a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, stranger
I believe we should never stop growing, learning and exploring.
Looking forward I can feel Him leading us, as a family, we have answered His call and He is leading... and we are growing...
As I think about taking His path, I think back, back when we weren't following.
I don't like to look back on that time...
But then I recall why it is important to look back, so we can learn from what was and rejoice in what is...
I look back to remember what was, knowing where I have been, acknowledging the change and accepting the blessing.
We were so young, so bright, everything going our way...
our way, not His way, but He wasn't going to let us know just yet.
He was subtle, little pushes every now and then, He was calling we just weren't listening.
Life was "perfect", we bought our dream house, had a little girl and big plans to fill our home with lots of children, love and laughter.
Things were going great, we were busy making a family and creating memories... everything we thought we were supposed to do.
Our families were happy for us, proud even. Our friends loved spending time with us.
We went on vacations, hosted parties, went to extravagant dinners, we helped those less fortunate but never gave until it hurt.
It happened so quickly... so quickly that it hurt.
It was like the chaos after the earthquake, when everyone scrambles around trying to do what they think they need to do to survive.
There was very little keeping up with appearances, quickly it was over, every thing gone.
We moved three times in four months, we sold most everything we had to keep food on the table, keep the electric on and pay medical bills, there were days I wondered why God would do this, didn't He care about us?
That's the blessing in looking back...
He was calling, He was calling over and over again asking us nicely to answer, when we wouldn't He came banging on our door, He wanted us to grow, the growing pains hurt but eventually we would answer His calls.
We never went without, we always had food, when we lost all transportation we were blessed with a white van that has not failed us yet, minus a few hiccups. He was carrying us, meeting every need, yet at that point in our lives, we had to re-learn what needs were.
Our needs for shelter, food, family, healthcare, God... we never went without. It hurt sometimes but we never went without.
I never look back wishing we would have done things differently because everything we did helped us get to where we are now.
He leads, and though I sometimes fall, I fall at the feet of my Father, who picks me up lets me try again. He is always good, ever present, He wants good for me and good for me is to answer Him, follow Him, let Him lead.
When I was ready to walk away from everything I knew, He was there, providing us with mentors, no doubt these people were heaven sent from Him to bless us.
When we tired on our own, but couldn't afford medicine for our little one, He provided it for us, the pharmacist with a white mustache and a heart the size of Texas, I will never forget the blessing.
When we needed a stable place to stay, He provided, and humbled us at the same time, when our neighbor's rental house came available.
Time and time again He provided and He still does. Only now, our eyes are on Him and the evidence is clear, before it seemed by chance. Now we grow in Him...
And when we were ready for Him, He was there, with a place that was perfect for us and church family for us to grow with.
As time has gone by I realize how far I walked from the Father. I thought I was doing everything right.
I was a faithful wife, raising a beautiful baby girl, living in my dream home, opening my doors to guests, supporting charities and giving to those less fortunate, I wasn't a bad person I was just no different than the rest of them and He wants us to be different, as we grow we are supposed to be different.
It is shameful to remember that person, the one who ran when the problems got to big, the one who had to loose it all to learn what was really important... but so thankful that He is forgiving, merciful and no matter how rotten we are His love is constant and He does watch out for His children.
I never want to be content again, always growing in Him.
I don't share this because you must go through some life shattering event to find Him, it's just that as this year comes to close and we are picking up the pieces putting together a new life. I am just so thankful that He choose to break it all, to break me, so that I could find Him. He truly does want us to bring the brokenness to Him and He really does make it whole and good again. I would go through the growing pains again to be here today.
A new year, a new home, a new start... and this little house, in this little town, is far greater than the "dream house" we left behind three years ago.
Because this home was prayed for and unlike our "dream home" this was not by our will but His. This was for a reason, this is where we are supposed to be, this is where we are supposed to be to grow...
Tony said it best, "I feel God lead us here." Never before in our lives have we felt lead the way we are being lead now and it is because we are growing, ever growing in Him. And when we let go of our own desires and submit to Him great things can happen.
I can't wait to see what He has done this time next year.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
desires vs expectations
A desire is defined; a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment, an expressed wish; request.
An expectation is defined; the act or state of looking forward or anticipating, something expected; a thing looked forward to.
I hear them say the holiday wasn't what they expected, some say it was more... some say it was far less... some look back with thanksgiving... others look back with ill thoughts.
I thought about their expectations, some expected a holiday with family all around, yummy food, handmade ornaments, everyone beautifully dressed, lots of presents, photo worthy moments captured in perfect lighting, a morning at church worshiping the King of Kings, smiling facing, laughter and joy, togetherness and peace.
I learned a few years back how expectations can make us feel, how our expectations and the build up to receiving can often create a feeling of loss, or breaking even. When your expectations are met, that's just it, they are met, nothing more but breaking even to what you thought you should have received in the first place.
I have always tired to not let my desires become expectations, to be joyful in all circumstances, humble in the celebration, taking it all in and being peaceful in what is.
When we desire something we long for it, we imagine it but we don't expect it. We do not feel that it is something we deserve.
If my desire to have my children neatly dressed and on their best behavior during Christmas morning church service was an expectation I must say when Troy smeared his sausage and egg quiche all over his red Christmas vest and wiggled in my arms all church service it may very well have begun the destruction of my Christmas expectations...
If my desire to have a clean house that smelled like apple cinnamon candles when family arrived was an expectation; I would have been pretty downcast when wrapping paper, plastic clasps from new toys being unwrapped and the dog battling a tummy problem covered my living room floor and there was no time to look for the striker to light the candles.
When the dog pooped on the floor, my husband feel asleep on the couch, Troy's shirt had a stain on it, the weather was too warm for our long sleeved Christmas shirts and the kids pulled out more and more toys in the excitement of sharing their new things with family I caught myself letting my desires become expectations...
feeling annoyed that my husband was snoring and not helping me prepare, feeling upset that I couldn't make everything look perfect before family would arrive...
deep breath...
don't let the desires for this day become expectations...
Family is coming over... who cares if the muffin pan is dirty in the sink, the counters are cluttered with sugar, measuring cups and stirring spoons.
The kids are darling, happy and excited about the day... that was my desire... not that they can't wear their Christmas shirts... but that joyful noises are filling my home.
My husband, my snoring husband, worked all day Christmas Eve, woke up early to open presents with his children and insisted we all go to church Christmas day, he will be back to work early Monday morning to provide for us... my desire was to have him help me... and help he does, did and will do... so let him nap before family and friends arrive.
And my desire was to be together, and together we were...
I snuggle next to my man on the couch, let the kids play, scattering toys all over the living room floor so that no one could walk through the house, without stepping over a toy soldier, jar of playdoh, little stuffed dog or remote control car.
Because I didn't let my desires become expectations I found my desires fulfilled, my every wish for this Christmas Day... I didn't break even... I am blessed.
Dear one, don't let your desires become expectations, do not measure the day by expectations met, treasure each moment, the good and the bad... and watch your desires become reality.
An expectation is defined; the act or state of looking forward or anticipating, something expected; a thing looked forward to.
I hear them say the holiday wasn't what they expected, some say it was more... some say it was far less... some look back with thanksgiving... others look back with ill thoughts.
I thought about their expectations, some expected a holiday with family all around, yummy food, handmade ornaments, everyone beautifully dressed, lots of presents, photo worthy moments captured in perfect lighting, a morning at church worshiping the King of Kings, smiling facing, laughter and joy, togetherness and peace.
I learned a few years back how expectations can make us feel, how our expectations and the build up to receiving can often create a feeling of loss, or breaking even. When your expectations are met, that's just it, they are met, nothing more but breaking even to what you thought you should have received in the first place.
I have always tired to not let my desires become expectations, to be joyful in all circumstances, humble in the celebration, taking it all in and being peaceful in what is.
When we desire something we long for it, we imagine it but we don't expect it. We do not feel that it is something we deserve.
If my desire to have my children neatly dressed and on their best behavior during Christmas morning church service was an expectation I must say when Troy smeared his sausage and egg quiche all over his red Christmas vest and wiggled in my arms all church service it may very well have begun the destruction of my Christmas expectations...
If my desire to have a clean house that smelled like apple cinnamon candles when family arrived was an expectation; I would have been pretty downcast when wrapping paper, plastic clasps from new toys being unwrapped and the dog battling a tummy problem covered my living room floor and there was no time to look for the striker to light the candles.
When the dog pooped on the floor, my husband feel asleep on the couch, Troy's shirt had a stain on it, the weather was too warm for our long sleeved Christmas shirts and the kids pulled out more and more toys in the excitement of sharing their new things with family I caught myself letting my desires become expectations...
feeling annoyed that my husband was snoring and not helping me prepare, feeling upset that I couldn't make everything look perfect before family would arrive...
deep breath...
don't let the desires for this day become expectations...
Family is coming over... who cares if the muffin pan is dirty in the sink, the counters are cluttered with sugar, measuring cups and stirring spoons.
The kids are darling, happy and excited about the day... that was my desire... not that they can't wear their Christmas shirts... but that joyful noises are filling my home.
My husband, my snoring husband, worked all day Christmas Eve, woke up early to open presents with his children and insisted we all go to church Christmas day, he will be back to work early Monday morning to provide for us... my desire was to have him help me... and help he does, did and will do... so let him nap before family and friends arrive.
And my desire was to be together, and together we were...
I snuggle next to my man on the couch, let the kids play, scattering toys all over the living room floor so that no one could walk through the house, without stepping over a toy soldier, jar of playdoh, little stuffed dog or remote control car.
Because I didn't let my desires become expectations I found my desires fulfilled, my every wish for this Christmas Day... I didn't break even... I am blessed.
Dear one, don't let your desires become expectations, do not measure the day by expectations met, treasure each moment, the good and the bad... and watch your desires become reality.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
thankful heart is a happy heart...
It is so easy for me to fall into the 'holiday blues' this time of year.
I don't know why it is, seems like since the death of my father in 2002 the holiday season just doesn't feel the same.
I catch myself every year, the same feeling...
We were all pretty sick the last few weeks and since it was all I could do some days just to sit on the couch and watch movies with my sick kids it felt easier than ever to let Satan invade my mind with sad and lonely thoughts.
I always go along with the motions of the holiday season, but this year more than ever between sickness, stresses of moving and just the general yuck in this dark world it was easier than ever to fall into that slump.
I heard my sweet boy the other day singing along with his Veggie Tales CD, "a thankful heart is a happy heart, I'm glad for what I have that's an easy place to start"
The weather may not be cool, my family may be out of town, I may be feeling overwhelmed facing a move just a few weeks after Christmas, the budget may be tight but... I can walk barefoot in the grass, feel the sunshine on my face, call my family on the phone, know they are all well and safe, rejoice in the blessings of starting over in our new home, find contentment in knowing that Christmas is not about how much or what is under the tree, rather the gift that is Jesus Christ.
Instead of focusing on the things that aren't "right" about this Christmas season I choose to focus on the reason we celebrate, the birth of our Lord. The gift of Jesus, salvation and light. Choose to focus on my husband, children, all that is good in my life.
As my focus changed... my mood changed... a thankful heart is a happy heart... and if you don't know where to start think Veggie... be glad for what you have that's an easy place to start.
Thank you God for sending messages once again through my little monsters, when I say they are a blessing I truly mean just that. :)
I don't know why it is, seems like since the death of my father in 2002 the holiday season just doesn't feel the same.
I catch myself every year, the same feeling...
We were all pretty sick the last few weeks and since it was all I could do some days just to sit on the couch and watch movies with my sick kids it felt easier than ever to let Satan invade my mind with sad and lonely thoughts.
I always go along with the motions of the holiday season, but this year more than ever between sickness, stresses of moving and just the general yuck in this dark world it was easier than ever to fall into that slump.
I heard my sweet boy the other day singing along with his Veggie Tales CD, "a thankful heart is a happy heart, I'm glad for what I have that's an easy place to start"
The weather may not be cool, my family may be out of town, I may be feeling overwhelmed facing a move just a few weeks after Christmas, the budget may be tight but... I can walk barefoot in the grass, feel the sunshine on my face, call my family on the phone, know they are all well and safe, rejoice in the blessings of starting over in our new home, find contentment in knowing that Christmas is not about how much or what is under the tree, rather the gift that is Jesus Christ.
Instead of focusing on the things that aren't "right" about this Christmas season I choose to focus on the reason we celebrate, the birth of our Lord. The gift of Jesus, salvation and light. Choose to focus on my husband, children, all that is good in my life.
As my focus changed... my mood changed... a thankful heart is a happy heart... and if you don't know where to start think Veggie... be glad for what you have that's an easy place to start.
Thank you God for sending messages once again through my little monsters, when I say they are a blessing I truly mean just that. :)
Saturday, December 10, 2011
the good mothers...
and I hear her say, "I just want this time to pass by quickly"
I've said it before... no one said it was going to be easy but no one told me it would be so difficult. It's not all snuggles and bedtime stories. Sometimes it's screaming, loud screaming, at 4am... screaming that might wake the neighbors. Sometimes it's cheerios smashed into the carpet, sticky hands on clean windows... but hold onto it because you are right, it passes quickly, and when this time is over you will wish they were little again.
and I hear her say, "I watched her graduate from college today and all I could remember was bringing her home from the hospital"
I remember bringing mine home too. It wasn't all that long ago, but listening to this I realize it is a moment a mother cherishes, a story she never forgets. I remember holding them for the first time. I remember kissing their bald heads. Thinking they were the most perfect beings on this earth. Your job isn't over momma, she is a woman, but you are still her momma, our job is never over. Just as you remember that day, she remembers you, your smell, your voice, your hair, your touch.
Being a mother, being a good mother is no easy task.
It requires sacrifice, sacrifice of sleep, some days sacrifice of showering. It means you live for them, from tending their boo-boos to mending their broken hearts. Each stage in life is a new sacrifice and for the good mothers it goes by too quickly. It may not always be easy, beautiful or joyous, but these are the moments that make us, good mothers.
Too quickly come the moments...
from hearing their heartbeat, she prays all is healthy
their first steps, she is so excited watching them learn
the last time they let you rock them to sleep, just a kiss on the forehead will do
the day they tell you they don't need you to tuck them in... oh sweet one, you may not need me too, but I need me too
their first haircut, I cried as every curl hit the ground
the last time they need you to drive them to the store, she quietly went out and prayed over the steering wheel of his truck
the steps across the stage at graduation, she remembered the day bringing that baby in the pink blanket home from the hospital
It never ends, she watches them grow, loves them, keeps them, she is their safe place- always their mother, their good mother.
I've said it before... no one said it was going to be easy but no one told me it would be so difficult. It's not all snuggles and bedtime stories. Sometimes it's screaming, loud screaming, at 4am... screaming that might wake the neighbors. Sometimes it's cheerios smashed into the carpet, sticky hands on clean windows... but hold onto it because you are right, it passes quickly, and when this time is over you will wish they were little again.
and I hear her say, "I watched her graduate from college today and all I could remember was bringing her home from the hospital"
I remember bringing mine home too. It wasn't all that long ago, but listening to this I realize it is a moment a mother cherishes, a story she never forgets. I remember holding them for the first time. I remember kissing their bald heads. Thinking they were the most perfect beings on this earth. Your job isn't over momma, she is a woman, but you are still her momma, our job is never over. Just as you remember that day, she remembers you, your smell, your voice, your hair, your touch.
Being a mother, being a good mother is no easy task.
It requires sacrifice, sacrifice of sleep, some days sacrifice of showering. It means you live for them, from tending their boo-boos to mending their broken hearts. Each stage in life is a new sacrifice and for the good mothers it goes by too quickly. It may not always be easy, beautiful or joyous, but these are the moments that make us, good mothers.
Too quickly come the moments...
from hearing their heartbeat, she prays all is healthy
their first steps, she is so excited watching them learn
the last time they let you rock them to sleep, just a kiss on the forehead will do
the day they tell you they don't need you to tuck them in... oh sweet one, you may not need me too, but I need me too
their first haircut, I cried as every curl hit the ground
the last time they need you to drive them to the store, she quietly went out and prayed over the steering wheel of his truck
the steps across the stage at graduation, she remembered the day bringing that baby in the pink blanket home from the hospital
It never ends, she watches them grow, loves them, keeps them, she is their safe place- always their mother, their good mother.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
why that verse?
So, I normally wouldn't feel the need but since it came up I figured I'll take the opportunity to share my thought process...
On the Thanksgiving Eve blog I shared this verse,
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24
After posting I was asked, why of all the verses I could post about thanksgiving did I post this verse?
I guess as I as standing in my kitchen, warm, clothed, a roof over my head, my heart full of joy I was humbled thinking we are the rich, America is the rich. As I stood in my kitchen, with running water, clean sleeping children in their beds comfortably tucked under their blankets... I thought.
Yes, I shop on a budget, I cut corners, there never seems to be enough money to go round, but we are the rich. We have shelter over our heads, we do not know true hunger- starvation.
You may say... but I can't buy my children all they want for Christmas, I live in a modest home, I work hard for a small amount of money, we struggle, I am not rich?
My car may not be new or expensive but I have a car to get me from here to there, even if I didn't public transportation is available to us in America.
Healthcare, while I complain about the hours I spend on the phone with insurance... I read a story about a woman in Africa who was brutally attacked because of the way she looked, the attackers cut her arms off and she left her to die, with no hospitals to go to, her mother was able to stop the bleeding with a shovel pulled from the fire, mend her wounds, after months of fighting infection she did survive. We, America, have access in emergent needs, it's not perfect but we aren't a village in Africa, that's for sure.
We are the rich...
As I stood there, smelling peanut butter cookies baking in the oven, I began to think about the winter morning I took Sophia for a walk barefoot. She was only three. There was a shoe drive at church and I explained to her how some people don't have shoes. We walked along the driveway she asked if I would hold her, her feet were cold. I remember wanting her to understand that feeling, to know that others are less fortunate and we must think beyond ourselves, beyond our homes and our communities, to help others in need.
We are the rich...
Sometimes God humbles us, He reveals to us a truth that can make us uncomfortable, only to make us better.
So, this verse may have made some wonder why? and maybe even a little uncomfortable?And maybe I didn't do a good job explaining, but as God revealed it to me I wanted to share it with you.
We are the rich.
In writing that verse I was hoping that others would be reminded, the same way I was reminded, where these thanksgiving blessings come from? Our Lord, He deserves all the glory.
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6
On the Thanksgiving Eve blog I shared this verse,
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24
After posting I was asked, why of all the verses I could post about thanksgiving did I post this verse?
I guess as I as standing in my kitchen, warm, clothed, a roof over my head, my heart full of joy I was humbled thinking we are the rich, America is the rich. As I stood in my kitchen, with running water, clean sleeping children in their beds comfortably tucked under their blankets... I thought.
Yes, I shop on a budget, I cut corners, there never seems to be enough money to go round, but we are the rich. We have shelter over our heads, we do not know true hunger- starvation.
You may say... but I can't buy my children all they want for Christmas, I live in a modest home, I work hard for a small amount of money, we struggle, I am not rich?
My car may not be new or expensive but I have a car to get me from here to there, even if I didn't public transportation is available to us in America.
Healthcare, while I complain about the hours I spend on the phone with insurance... I read a story about a woman in Africa who was brutally attacked because of the way she looked, the attackers cut her arms off and she left her to die, with no hospitals to go to, her mother was able to stop the bleeding with a shovel pulled from the fire, mend her wounds, after months of fighting infection she did survive. We, America, have access in emergent needs, it's not perfect but we aren't a village in Africa, that's for sure.
We are the rich...
As I stood there, smelling peanut butter cookies baking in the oven, I began to think about the winter morning I took Sophia for a walk barefoot. She was only three. There was a shoe drive at church and I explained to her how some people don't have shoes. We walked along the driveway she asked if I would hold her, her feet were cold. I remember wanting her to understand that feeling, to know that others are less fortunate and we must think beyond ourselves, beyond our homes and our communities, to help others in need.
We are the rich...
Sometimes God humbles us, He reveals to us a truth that can make us uncomfortable, only to make us better.
So, this verse may have made some wonder why? and maybe even a little uncomfortable?And maybe I didn't do a good job explaining, but as God revealed it to me I wanted to share it with you.
We are the rich.
In writing that verse I was hoping that others would be reminded, the same way I was reminded, where these thanksgiving blessings come from? Our Lord, He deserves all the glory.
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6
Saturday, November 5, 2011
harvest season...
I haven't felt much of the holiday spirit yet, maybe it's the weather (it's been warm), maybe it's too soon in the season, maybe it's the uncertainty of change in the air, maybe it's all the sickness we've been fighting, who knows?
This time of year makes me think about my father, he died November 17, 2002. His birthday was just after Christmas and I always think of him this time of year. I always get a little bit blue during this time of year, early in the season and then it wears off...
Fall festivities began early in October, the fall festival at church, trick or treating with the monsters. I have been busy going and doing but not much feeling...
I just haven't felt like myself and this fall season hasn't felt all warm and "cinnamony" like it normally does. (yes, "cinnamony" is a great word that describes how I feel about fall)
The last two weeks included surgery for my Momma and Grandmomma. They are recovering just fine. Last night I was getting a few groceries for the patients and as I was leaving the store I got a text message from a friend, inviting us for a night of fellowship, celebrating the fall harvest season. I called Tony to see if he was interested in going, he said yes... so we made plans to go.
She didn't know that I had been feeling down. But this gesture of friendship lifted my spirits and was just what I needed...
warmth of the bonfire, good food, fellowship with friends, family and yes... that "cinnamony" kind of feeling.
There is so much to be thankful for, so many blessings... I'm so glad November is here. I love a time when people focus on being thankful and grateful for this life and all that God has provided us with, to Him be the glory.
Glory!
This time of year makes me think about my father, he died November 17, 2002. His birthday was just after Christmas and I always think of him this time of year. I always get a little bit blue during this time of year, early in the season and then it wears off...
Fall festivities began early in October, the fall festival at church, trick or treating with the monsters. I have been busy going and doing but not much feeling...
I just haven't felt like myself and this fall season hasn't felt all warm and "cinnamony" like it normally does. (yes, "cinnamony" is a great word that describes how I feel about fall)
The last two weeks included surgery for my Momma and Grandmomma. They are recovering just fine. Last night I was getting a few groceries for the patients and as I was leaving the store I got a text message from a friend, inviting us for a night of fellowship, celebrating the fall harvest season. I called Tony to see if he was interested in going, he said yes... so we made plans to go.
She didn't know that I had been feeling down. But this gesture of friendship lifted my spirits and was just what I needed...
warmth of the bonfire, good food, fellowship with friends, family and yes... that "cinnamony" kind of feeling.
There is so much to be thankful for, so many blessings... I'm so glad November is here. I love a time when people focus on being thankful and grateful for this life and all that God has provided us with, to Him be the glory.
Glory!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
how it goes sometimes...
This morning I woke up with a headache
I just didn't feel like doing much of anything
But my terrible twosome were up and ready for trouble
After an hour of entertaining them with the life sucker (the TV)
I decided I needed to get moving
I had planned on making some homemade playdoh
It was really the last thing I felt like doing
We had all of the ingredients and I thought the kids would enjoy it
Counts as some homeschool science and math so with coffee in one hand, camera in the other we got to work
Some days even with the best of intentions and preparation chaos erupts
The kids were bickering
No one wanted to sit still and listen while I talked about two 1/2s making a whole or how to get 2tsps you need to scoop the 1tsp measuring spoon 2 times...
I wasn't being fair to let Troy pour the water
and Sophia got more time stirring the pot on the stove than Troy did
Did I mention the blue food coloring was teal and not blue...
Yea, sometimes it doesn't go how we want it too...
We melted a plastic spider on the stove top...
Did I mention I still have headache?
On positive note:
The playdoh turned out great so here is the recipe we used...
Homemade Playdoh
1 Cup Water
1 Cup Flour
1/2 Cup Salt
2tsp Cream of Tarter
Food Coloring
Mix ingredients in a pot, stir over medium heat until ball forms and pulls away from the sides.
Enjoy!
I just didn't feel like doing much of anything
But my terrible twosome were up and ready for trouble
After an hour of entertaining them with the life sucker (the TV)
I decided I needed to get moving
I had planned on making some homemade playdoh
It was really the last thing I felt like doing
We had all of the ingredients and I thought the kids would enjoy it
Counts as some homeschool science and math so with coffee in one hand, camera in the other we got to work
Some days even with the best of intentions and preparation chaos erupts
The kids were bickering
No one wanted to sit still and listen while I talked about two 1/2s making a whole or how to get 2tsps you need to scoop the 1tsp measuring spoon 2 times...
I wasn't being fair to let Troy pour the water
and Sophia got more time stirring the pot on the stove than Troy did
Did I mention the blue food coloring was teal and not blue...
Yea, sometimes it doesn't go how we want it too...
We melted a plastic spider on the stove top...
Did I mention I still have headache?
On positive note:
The playdoh turned out great so here is the recipe we used...
Homemade Playdoh
1 Cup Water
1 Cup Flour
1/2 Cup Salt
2tsp Cream of Tarter
Food Coloring
Mix ingredients in a pot, stir over medium heat until ball forms and pulls away from the sides.
Enjoy!
Friday, October 21, 2011
learning together...
I love homeschooling my children...
I think it is important to provide them with a solid foundation...
equip them to do great things...
it just feels right, like this is how it is meant to be.
Ask me 7 years ago if I thought I would be a homeschooling parent and I would have said no way!
7 years ago I was going to school to be a teacher, little did I know I would be teaching my own...
We learn together...
We learn about the Earth, the power of sunlight, mammals, carnivores, herbivores...
We read... We count... We explore... but even more than that we learn how to be together...
Today was unexpected. Today was a day unlike most, we got up, had no plans, no school work on the schedule...
We went to drop something off to a friend and realized Troy had left his sneakers at Mimi's farm...
We drove over to the farm to get his shoes
As always on the farm if you look around there is work to be done...
so we did some...
We worked for a bit... we played a bit little longer...
Troy rode in the Jeep with GrandDaddy... he ate a cucumber that GrandDaddy cut with his pocket knife...
Sophia found an apple and shared it with a horse...
We went to visit the Great Grandparents...
Troy stole some candy from GiGi
We counted hay bails and enjoyed the beautiful weather.
We came home and made chili for tonight's supper.
We went to the playground and found a beetle,
They ran around,
I pushed them on the swings,
We sang songs and talked about Jesus...
We investigated the beetle again before going home Troy tried to bring it back to life, it didn't work...
We found out our friends are sick, we made them cookies which we will drop off in a few hours...
Today is a day that there were no lessons planned but we are learning together about life, taking care of one another, helping each other, praising God in everything we do... and what lesson we could learn in a book is greater than that?
My two are snuggled together on the couch enjoying an afternoon movie...
And I think... this is how it is supposed to be...
They are mine, they won't be mine forever, but while they are I will treasure the moments... teach them, love them, learn them... and we will do this together... because that is how our family is supposed to be.
I think it is important to provide them with a solid foundation...
equip them to do great things...
it just feels right, like this is how it is meant to be.
Ask me 7 years ago if I thought I would be a homeschooling parent and I would have said no way!
7 years ago I was going to school to be a teacher, little did I know I would be teaching my own...
We learn together...
We learn about the Earth, the power of sunlight, mammals, carnivores, herbivores...
We read... We count... We explore... but even more than that we learn how to be together...
Today was unexpected. Today was a day unlike most, we got up, had no plans, no school work on the schedule...
We went to drop something off to a friend and realized Troy had left his sneakers at Mimi's farm...
We drove over to the farm to get his shoes
As always on the farm if you look around there is work to be done...
so we did some...
We worked for a bit... we played a bit little longer...
Troy rode in the Jeep with GrandDaddy... he ate a cucumber that GrandDaddy cut with his pocket knife...
Sophia found an apple and shared it with a horse...
We went to visit the Great Grandparents...
Troy stole some candy from GiGi
We counted hay bails and enjoyed the beautiful weather.
We came home and made chili for tonight's supper.
We went to the playground and found a beetle,
They ran around,
I pushed them on the swings,
We sang songs and talked about Jesus...
We investigated the beetle again before going home Troy tried to bring it back to life, it didn't work...
We found out our friends are sick, we made them cookies which we will drop off in a few hours...
Today is a day that there were no lessons planned but we are learning together about life, taking care of one another, helping each other, praising God in everything we do... and what lesson we could learn in a book is greater than that?
My two are snuggled together on the couch enjoying an afternoon movie...
And I think... this is how it is supposed to be...
They are mine, they won't be mine forever, but while they are I will treasure the moments... teach them, love them, learn them... and we will do this together... because that is how our family is supposed to be.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
men of courage
Tony and I went and saw the movie Courageous tonight.
I so recommend it... I felt such pride sitting next to my man, who is a man of courage, who is a leader to his wife, his children.
as I watched I was reminded of just what an important job my man has...
He was called by God to be the protector, caretaker, provider and spiritual leader for our family.
My man works hard to take care of the ones he loves.
He takes pride in his role as my man and their Daddy.
His children adore him, they hate it when he leaves for work but love it when he comes home in the evenings.
He was off today and I watched him play with his boy, snuggle with his girl and cater to his wife...
When I watched the movie and was reminded of this job that fathers have... the job so many fathers fail to do... I praised God for the man He put in my life, the father of my children, the courageous leader of our home.
Pray for your man tonight, they are called to do a big job, encourage them, lift them up...
I'm off to love on my courageous man :)
Good Night Y'all.
I so recommend it... I felt such pride sitting next to my man, who is a man of courage, who is a leader to his wife, his children.
as I watched I was reminded of just what an important job my man has...
He was called by God to be the protector, caretaker, provider and spiritual leader for our family.
My man works hard to take care of the ones he loves.
He takes pride in his role as my man and their Daddy.
His children adore him, they hate it when he leaves for work but love it when he comes home in the evenings.
He was off today and I watched him play with his boy, snuggle with his girl and cater to his wife...
When I watched the movie and was reminded of this job that fathers have... the job so many fathers fail to do... I praised God for the man He put in my life, the father of my children, the courageous leader of our home.
Pray for your man tonight, they are called to do a big job, encourage them, lift them up...
I'm off to love on my courageous man :)
Good Night Y'all.
what's important to me
We have needed time for us lately.
The hustle of the holidays is quickly approaching...
I've postponed playdates, ignored my calendar and dismissed the everyday stuff.
A laundry pile covers my dining room table.
Dishes are always in my sink.
Dirty towels on the bathroom floor.
Family and friends fill my cluttered home with love and laughter.
My neighbors bring their children, my grandparents stop in, my friends come for a cup of coffee, time spent together, enjoying one another, living this life together...
Yes, I agree that a clean home clears the mind but a clean home takes time and my heart finds greater benefit in...
jumping on the trampoline with my monsters,
dancing in the kitchen with my daughter,
racing cars across the living room floor with my boy,
Falling into my bed with my man.
Yes, it is those things that fill my heart and make me complete.
The laundry will wait, the dishes will still be there tomorrow...
I want to invest my time in my family.
A clean house... maybe tomorrow...
The hustle of the holidays is quickly approaching...
I've postponed playdates, ignored my calendar and dismissed the everyday stuff.
A laundry pile covers my dining room table.
Dishes are always in my sink.
Dirty towels on the bathroom floor.
Family and friends fill my cluttered home with love and laughter.
My neighbors bring their children, my grandparents stop in, my friends come for a cup of coffee, time spent together, enjoying one another, living this life together...
Yes, I agree that a clean home clears the mind but a clean home takes time and my heart finds greater benefit in...
jumping on the trampoline with my monsters,
dancing in the kitchen with my daughter,
racing cars across the living room floor with my boy,
Falling into my bed with my man.
Yes, it is those things that fill my heart and make me complete.
The laundry will wait, the dishes will still be there tomorrow...
I want to invest my time in my family.
A clean house... maybe tomorrow...
Monday, October 10, 2011
outward expression of an inward emotion
I read a book a while ago...
there was a brief section in this book that talked about sharing joy with your children. It said something about letting your children know you are thankful to be in their presence, sharing with them your joy, through your smile and other outward expressions...
I think it's so true that children need to know joy...
it got me thinking about how children, specifically young children learn about emotion.
Remember those charts with the smiley faces,
you look at the faces that show the emotion...
I have thought a lot lately about sharing emotion with my children- children understand outward expressions of inward emotions...
Last night I was trying to get the kids to bed,
It always seems like the last few moments during the evening are the most stressful ones.
I know I'm so close to getting them in bed,
I want to collapse onto the couch,
I'm exhausted.
There are about 100 things left to do,
I'm giving hugs and kisses,
someone asks for a sippy cup,
then another needs to go potty,
then a lost blankie needs recovered,
just as everyone is settled...
the dog leaves a 'gift' on the floor...
I look up and give out this distressing 'UGH!!!!'
Sophia pops up, "don't be mad at bedtime"
I wasn't upset with them, I was just tired, upset at the situation.
This isn't a blog about how I was wrong to be upset, I think that it is good for kids to understand emotion, for them to know that their parents have emotions too.
I explain to her that I'm just tired, that mommies have big jobs and just because she and her brother and tucked in to go to sleep doesn't mean that mommy gets to rest just yet...
I tell her I love her and I'm not mad at her...
I believe it is good for them to see a variety of emotions in their parents, not all frustration and not all joy, they need to understand that there are many emotions and many reasons for those emotions, instead of feeling ashamed that my daughter caught this not so proud moment when I huffed and puffed about cleaning up dog pee...
I decided to embrace it, I was annoyed, I was tired and this was an opportunity to explain that.
As their Momma I want them to know I love them, I want to show love, I hold them, I tell them I love them, I share with them the outward expression of an inward emotion...
To share joy, I let them see me smile, I dance around with them, I play...
To share peace, I sit quietly and rub their backs or snuggle them on the couch.
It's important that we know ways to share these inward emotions in ways they can understand...
Yet, frustration, sadness and disappointment are expressions I notice many mommas (including myself) trying to hide from our children, we don't want them to know we are tired... frustrated... sad.. or disappointed.. but why?
this is a very real part of life...
Some days aren't so joyful... some days aren't so peaceful...
Some days are stressful... some things make me angry... and when those days end I always feel guilty, like I shouldn't have let them know I wasn't happy...
You know what?
My kids have been witness to great joy, they know disappointment, they have experienced great love, they understand frustration and they know peace... and I'm glad for that.
I refuse to feel shamed for being real...
So instead of denying an outward expression of an inward emotion I will let them see me cry when something makes me sad, I'll let them hear me "ugh" over dog pee on the floor, I'll let them see my clean it up, and I'll let them see my smile when I kiss them goodnight and yes I'll even let them see me give that stinkin' dog a belly rub...
there was a brief section in this book that talked about sharing joy with your children. It said something about letting your children know you are thankful to be in their presence, sharing with them your joy, through your smile and other outward expressions...
I think it's so true that children need to know joy...
it got me thinking about how children, specifically young children learn about emotion.
Remember those charts with the smiley faces,
you look at the faces that show the emotion...
I have thought a lot lately about sharing emotion with my children- children understand outward expressions of inward emotions...
Last night I was trying to get the kids to bed,
It always seems like the last few moments during the evening are the most stressful ones.
I know I'm so close to getting them in bed,
I want to collapse onto the couch,
I'm exhausted.
There are about 100 things left to do,
I'm giving hugs and kisses,
someone asks for a sippy cup,
then another needs to go potty,
then a lost blankie needs recovered,
just as everyone is settled...
the dog leaves a 'gift' on the floor...
I look up and give out this distressing 'UGH!!!!'
Sophia pops up, "don't be mad at bedtime"
I wasn't upset with them, I was just tired, upset at the situation.
This isn't a blog about how I was wrong to be upset, I think that it is good for kids to understand emotion, for them to know that their parents have emotions too.
I explain to her that I'm just tired, that mommies have big jobs and just because she and her brother and tucked in to go to sleep doesn't mean that mommy gets to rest just yet...
I tell her I love her and I'm not mad at her...
I believe it is good for them to see a variety of emotions in their parents, not all frustration and not all joy, they need to understand that there are many emotions and many reasons for those emotions, instead of feeling ashamed that my daughter caught this not so proud moment when I huffed and puffed about cleaning up dog pee...
I decided to embrace it, I was annoyed, I was tired and this was an opportunity to explain that.
As their Momma I want them to know I love them, I want to show love, I hold them, I tell them I love them, I share with them the outward expression of an inward emotion...
To share joy, I let them see me smile, I dance around with them, I play...
To share peace, I sit quietly and rub their backs or snuggle them on the couch.
It's important that we know ways to share these inward emotions in ways they can understand...
Yet, frustration, sadness and disappointment are expressions I notice many mommas (including myself) trying to hide from our children, we don't want them to know we are tired... frustrated... sad.. or disappointed.. but why?
this is a very real part of life...
Some days aren't so joyful... some days aren't so peaceful...
Some days are stressful... some things make me angry... and when those days end I always feel guilty, like I shouldn't have let them know I wasn't happy...
You know what?
My kids have been witness to great joy, they know disappointment, they have experienced great love, they understand frustration and they know peace... and I'm glad for that.
I refuse to feel shamed for being real...
So instead of denying an outward expression of an inward emotion I will let them see me cry when something makes me sad, I'll let them hear me "ugh" over dog pee on the floor, I'll let them see my clean it up, and I'll let them see my smile when I kiss them goodnight and yes I'll even let them see me give that stinkin' dog a belly rub...
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