answered prayers

Tonight our Sophi girl had what we believe to be a complex partial seizure, 

she's had this type of seizure before... 

it lasted about 12-15 minutes,

nothing new, just been awhile since we've seen one.

We'll get with the neurologist tomorrow and review the events from tonight 

but this has been a busy week and may just have been too much for our girl. 

Sleep schedule has been a little wonky, which means her medicine schedule has been a little off, not by much but maybe enough to cause a break through seizure? 

I don't know, we'll let the doctor determine that.

The reason I wanted to share though... for prayers of course, for the doctor and any tests he may or may not order, but most important, 

I have to share a lesson... you see today I was grumpy, tired and was ready for the kids to go to bed, I called out to God tonight, Lord give me strength to get these kids in bed!

I meant it but not in that prayerful kind of way more of a short tempered, I'm ready for this night to be over kind of way.. and then this... 

and as she struggled in the midst of a storm 

she would scream for me to hold her, 

then cry that I was holding her too tight, 

shivering and shaking that she was going to throw up, 

laying with her face on the side of the toilet.. 

you know what she did?

she prayed...

God please make this stop, 

let me just go to sleep, 

take away my hurt tummy and just let me go to sleep

Please God I'll do anything if you just make it stop

Through my tears, I kiss her damp hair and I pray with her 

because in that moment there is nothing else I can do. 

I sit on the floor with her, holding her close but not to tight

She tells me I sound far away

I'm right here baby.

God just let her know I'm right here.

During these seizures she is conscious but disorientated, 

she screams that I'm not close enough but I'm standing next to her

She cries in pain and that she is going to throw up but she's not sick

It is the most helpless feeling for this momma

So I pray...

I feel her heart rate slow down, the shivering and shaking subsides 

and in a matter of moments it's over.

She asks for me to carry her to bed and I sing a few songs

and her prayers for sleep are answered.

What an example of faith and peace that only comes for our Heavenly Father, 

she knows He is peace in the midst of the storm.

Oh, how much I learn from this baby, thank you God for blessing our family with her

and no more shouting to God for strength, at least not strength to get the kids to bed... 

just a boy and his cars...

a boy and his cars... 

 no cares in the world... 

 and then comes in a woman....

 she will will fix it (even though nothing needs fixed)

 he is patient for a while

 and then she tells him his boy cars need wives... 

that girl has 'fixed too much' and it's just a boy and his cars... 

looking up

People with special children know that no matter how many amazing people you know who have special children the challenges to each child are unique. While the diagnosis may be the same the struggles can be far different.

For the most part I am content and at peace, then every now and again I find myself standing in that dark and lonely place, feeling sad for my child, sorry for myself, feeling like no one understands and well... like God let me down.

It is the devil that would love to flood my mind with these negative thoughts.It's the human, fleshly side of me that lets these feelings come to surface, it's these feelings I would like to never pluck out on a keyboard, they are yucky and don't make me feel proud of myself as a child of God.

But it is these moments in suffering when I also find humility, encouragement and resolution in the words of my Savior.

It is these 'yucky' moments when I find myself on my knees and looking up...

Looking to the Father, the ultimate physician, healer, redeemer... my God.

And while I come to the cross, this broken, spoiled rotten, no good human... He has the power to pick me up and remind me who I am, whose I am and what my purpose is.

I was reminded just last week in a devotional that it is key for Christians to take the precious words from scripture keep them ready when troubles and temptation comes...

Here are some of the verses that I cherish when I find myself face on the ground at the cross on this day...


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29



I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. John 14:27


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28



For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


and my favorite the one I share with my special gift from God...

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

honor and obey

Reading through this black and white composition notebook that I jotted down hundreds of different quotes and thoughts from the my get-away a few weeks ago...

I was trying to pick another one to share with you all... and since it came up in conversation this weekend I figured it's a good one to share with you all today....

The difference between honoring and obeying.... 

Watch out now! Those are two heavy words that I really don't like using... maybe it's my issues with authority... growing up these kind of words would make me run the opposite direction, kind of like the word submission (I'll save that for blog of it's own), back to the point... honor and obey....

Obey is the action and Honor is an issue of the heart

I scribbled this down in my notebook and put a big star next too it, I knew it was something I would need to come back to for myself and my children... they share their mother's authority issues 

(remember caught not taught). 

Children are called to obey their parents

Colossians 3:20 says, "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord"

Now I can't be the only one who has told my children. "the Bible says you are to OBEY your parents...."

Go to your room, 

pick up your toys, 

don't talk mean to your sister, 

be nice to your brother, 

get your finger out of our nose... 

on and on and on.... 

And when they listen.. this my friends is the action of obeying. 

but I don't want my children just to obey me, following my commands as a sort of dictator (well, yes sometimes that is nice), I want them to understand my words are teaching them something, out of love I am teaching them, yes telling them to stop picking their nose is down out of love.... but I want my children to honor me. 

Honor comes from the heart and yes, 

children are called to honor their parents; 

Ephesians 6:2 says, "Children honor your father and mother" 

While I can tell my children to go pick up their toys and most likely they will do it... but will they put their things away orderly with an attitude that honors you as their parents or are they slamming things into drawers, huffing and puffing about what you have asked of them?

I told my six year old, "I am glad you obey me, but I want you to honor me too." 

This word, honor, is not one I thought of as having a place in everyday conversations with my children, 

I'm realizing just how necessary it is though.

Are we not called to obey and honor our Heavenly Father?

Now, the hard part, are you leading by example? 

not just obeying but honoring your Earthly parents? 

how about your Heavenly Father?

If  you ask me to obey part is easy...

Honoring comes from within, it's the emotion in which we obey. 

And we are always leading them by example. The best example I can give my children is for my heart to honor God and my parents as they ask me to obey.... big gulp.. as that was even a bit hard to pluck out on the keyboard (these authority issues may be bigger than I realized). 

Just another thought from the black and white composition notebook, 

I figured someone else may need to receive this message just as much as I did... 

caught not taught

Last week I spent two days away from my loves and nurtured my mind and spirit.
I was reminded how sometimes we need to "put the oxygen mask on ourselves, so that we can protect the ones we love the most" 

No doubt that the Lord blessed this gathering of his faithful followers as the joined together to learn, share triumphs and failures, encouragement and skills with one another.
This was for homeschool parents, but no doubt in my mind all parents would have felt empowered and encouraged by the words that filled the air.
During the next few weeks I plan on making time to sit down and pluck out some of the encouragement that I received during this weekend... figure why not share the joy! I hope you find encouragement and share it with others as well...


And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:24-25

So to kick off... 

I'd like to begin with one of many quotes I jotted down in my black and white composition notebook....

"Most things are caught, not taught"

This can be from multiple arenas... what are your kids learning at school, church, work, with their peers, or with you? 

Oh, nelly... this hits home to me. You see our house is loud! I have vivid memories in the not so distant past, screaming at the top of my lungs "stop yelling!"

It's almost comical to think about, thinking about all the times I scream at my children to 'be quiet, use your inside voice'.... 

The rationale, is that I need to be louder than they are (which is very loud) 

but where did they learn to be loud? their momma. 

You see, my man, he hates loud yelling... when he comes home from work the thing the bugs him the most is when I am stressed and fussing at kids, I always wondered why it was when Daddy raises his voice everyone in the house stops, even the dog. 

Yet, I yell all day long and no one listens... that's just it you see, Daddy never yells, so when he does all eyes are on him because there is a reason for it. 

When I yell.. it's just another day in the life... or so it used to be. 

The first thing my daughter said when I got back, mommy your voice is different.... I have had those words stuck in my throat for the last week.. hard to swallow those words.. but thankful that she noticed her momma will fix it when she's been wrong. 

While I was away I had time to think, clear my mind, be filled with good thoughts and some humbling ones too...

Be easy on yourself, we all make mistakes, but we also are all offered the opportunity to start a new day... another resounding message at the convention "God's mercies are new everyday, somewhere on Earth, it's a new day... so start over now!"

I thought about the things I don't like that happens in my home... the humbling part, what I don't like... starts with me. 

So while I teach them to speak kindly to one another, they catch what I'm throwing out... and that, gulp, isn't always kindness....

So, remember most things are caught, not taught... what are you throwing? what are they catching?