looking up

People with special children know that no matter how many amazing people you know who have special children the challenges to each child are unique. While the diagnosis may be the same the struggles can be far different.

For the most part I am content and at peace, then every now and again I find myself standing in that dark and lonely place, feeling sad for my child, sorry for myself, feeling like no one understands and well... like God let me down.

It is the devil that would love to flood my mind with these negative thoughts.It's the human, fleshly side of me that lets these feelings come to surface, it's these feelings I would like to never pluck out on a keyboard, they are yucky and don't make me feel proud of myself as a child of God.

But it is these moments in suffering when I also find humility, encouragement and resolution in the words of my Savior.

It is these 'yucky' moments when I find myself on my knees and looking up...

Looking to the Father, the ultimate physician, healer, redeemer... my God.

And while I come to the cross, this broken, spoiled rotten, no good human... He has the power to pick me up and remind me who I am, whose I am and what my purpose is.

I was reminded just last week in a devotional that it is key for Christians to take the precious words from scripture keep them ready when troubles and temptation comes...

Here are some of the verses that I cherish when I find myself face on the ground at the cross on this day...


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29



I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. John 14:27


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28



For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


and my favorite the one I share with my special gift from God...

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14