another week gone by

We are having a very busy busy week and weekend. I started work this past weekend and spent the first few days of the week catching up from working 3, 12 hour shifts through the night. It was hard to sleep during the day and stay up all night. The nurses I am working with told me that it takes about a month for your body to get used to the shift then you can sleep whenever and be awake whenever- I am hoping for that! Can't wait. I was pretty tired until about Tuesday.
We are moving this weekend. Again.. I know. When we moved back to our house in Yalaha I knew that it was only going to be temporary. I was hoping it was going to be a little "more temporary" but it wasn't. I found a really nice little house perfect for our family, one thing that I prayed for during this hard economic and financial time is for a sense stability and security. I am hopeful that this is going to be our home. It is not far from where we live now and it is very close to my family, about 5 minutes from my mom and 10 minutes from my grandparents. I am working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night so Tony will be moving on his own, at least part of the time. My mom, dad, brother, my sister, and my friend are going to help him. This is going to be a long weekend.. I already can't wait until Monday.
Troy has been going to swimming lessons everyday and he is really making amazing strides! I am going to go tomorrow and video tape it. He is really a cutie. He floats on his back and is really darling. and yes, no more crying ;)
Sophia is getting a new bed. Her Mimi is getting it for her. We bought her a cute little twin bed from Walmart it was a platform bed with a bookshelf headboard and three drawers underneath. Moving is so hard on furniture and when we moved last time her bed broke and she has been sleeping on her mattress on the floor, she doesn't mind but I am so excited for her to get a new bed. Thank you Mimi!!
Now, MiMi is treating us really well... she is also giving us a really nice dining room table for our house. We have one but Mom's is much nicer and she said we could have it! WHOO WHOO!
Well.. I better get to packing! Can't wait to show pictures of the new place.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's off to work I go...

OK, I am overwhelmed. (Good job calling that one Kati!)
Sophia did end up having a seizure last night. It was a mild one. I believe that the medication helped to make it more controlled. and God. ;) I found her in her bed posticle. She was whining and disorienated but she was breathing fine and her color was good which makes me think it wasn't that severe. This whole thing is starting to feel like part of life. Do I say that everytime?
Troy seems to be fine today, looks like it was the whole lactose intolerant thing.
OK, well putting my family in God's hands and Tony's :)
Tony is awesome. He made me turn off the baby monitors and take a nap. I woke up and I can smell the coffee. I am going to cook dinner for my family before I go. I love cooking for them.
Did I mention that I am sick, head cold, not really looking forward to pulling my first twelve hour shift but I am excited about my first night at work. I just hope I can hang in there with these sickies...
no calling in on your first day.

OK God! I get it.

AHH!!! I can't take anything else!!
I started working this week. Well, I finished my two days of orientation, my 1/2 day computer class, and I was home today... I start work tomorrow night. I am going to be working 7pm-7am, that's right 12 hours - all night... I actually picked that though because I want to be home with the kids during the day. Yes, I will sleep. I plan on sleeping in the morning and getting up when the kids are napping. Then I will have the afternoons to spend with them. I liked this, rather than being gone a 12 hour day. I am going to work 3 days a week, which is considered full time. For about the next 6 weeks I will be having to work weekends. The lady who is training me works Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So, this week because of my training hours I am going to work Friday and Sunday. Then next week I will work Friday, Saturday, Sunday... so on and so on...
I am excited. I enjoy being there. But when I am home I get sad because I want to be with them all the time. To top it off Sophia was congested and whining all night that her head hurt, then once I got her settled in Troy threw up. Tony helped me get him cleaned up, changed his bed sheets, then I got him settled and Sophia woke up crying with a fever. My hope is that Troy threw up because Tony fed him some key lime pie which has dairy in it and Troy is VERY allergic to dairy products, he throws up every time. With Sophia I am hoping that the fever will subside and she will just have a head cold- no seizures!! I am praying that it is no more than that. We have no health insurance until August 8th. I am counting down the days! We just lost coverage June 1 and I have been SOOOOO worried that the kids will get sick, that Sophi might have a seizure.. I am trying to think positive and I know God will take care of us that He is in control, He hits me where it hurts when He tests me with my children's health though. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control and I am not. Did I mention how hard that is when it comes to my babies and their health!?
I am really finding myself on my knees with this whole job thing and trusting that God is in control and no matter what I think - I never have been. Just another reminder when the kids are sick and I am going to my first full shift tomorrow night!! I know that Tony can handle it. He has done a great job with the kids this week. He really has stepped up. I'm proud of him. I still wish it was me taking care of them though. :)
Sophia says to me "when you are not here mommy God still is"
I guess I should take her advice. You know, I am the one who taught her this.. I need to take my own advice.
OK God- I get it.. now stop please! ;)

Double Trouble...

My two little peanuts! They love spending time on the farm.


Well, Sophia and Troy gave us a scare tonight. They were sitting at their little table eating a snack before bedtime. They usually sit and eat gram crackers around 740 while I give Sophia her medicine and Troy takes his allergy/asthma medicine. I gave Troy is medicine, which is in a syringe. I gave Sophi her pill and a cup. I saw her put the pill on her napkin. Then Troy dropped his cracker on his lap which had peanut butter on it, he grabbed his napkin to wipe his face. Just as that happened I saw Sophia out of the corner of my eye switch her napkin with Troy's napkin. He wiped his face with the napkin with the pill on it, but then I didn't see the pill. I thought it got in his mouth. I was looking at the napkin, at Troy's mouth, face... no pill. I looked on the floor I didn't see it. I was in a panic trying to find it. If Troy ate it, it would be very dangerous for him. It is a controlled substance, it's not like Tylenol. I asked Sophia where the pill was?? She said, "I ate it." I knew she didn't but she was looking right in my eyes, I was so upset that she would lie to me. I got Troy out of the kitchen and the dog out of the kitchen so I could look for the pill. I kept asking Sophia if she ate it or if she gave it to Troy? She was crying and yelling "I'm not lying, I ate it." I sent her to her room because I couldn't think with all the yelling. I told Tony to talk to her in her room because I thought she was lying and I needed to know what happened to the pill. Meanwhile, I was searching on the floor looking for a little white pill on white tile. Troy and 'Papi' were standing at the baby gate making all kinds of noise. Then Troy opened the gate, and they both ran in. I prayed for God to let me find the pill. If 'Papi' or Troy got it... that would be bad. Then I found it! Thank you God.
I heard Sophia scream at Tony "I ate it!"
I went in her room and I said "what is this!?"
She was so upset. She got caught!
My heart sank because I knew she was going to have to get in trouble for lying and she needs to know how serious it is that she not try and get Troy to eat her pill.
My heart was so sad. What my mom used to say about discipline - "it's harder on me than it is on you" rang true in my heart tonight.
It really wasn't that bad, but it was terrible to see her remorse once she got caught and knew she was in trouble.
I guess it's all part of having a child with medication.
I sat her down tonight and explained to her that she has epilepsy and she has to take medication that other people can't take. I told her what makes her well could hurt Troy.
Ugh- long night.

take a bow...

Ballet is over! Until August that is, then it is tap and ballet. :)
Sophia danced like a princess. She did a great job. She was so happy. It was wonderful to see her. I was driving to the last show with her today and I was thinking about a number of times during this year that I didn't know if she would be able to continue in her dancing because of her seizures. I am so thankful to God that she is able to dance.
I was remembering the week she spent at children's hospital and when she asked me if she would ever be able to get out of that bed and take that wrap off her head and go to 'ballerina school' again? Sweet baby thought that test was going to last forever ;) I remember how she starting going on the potty just so that she would be able to dance in ballet. I remember how she told me that ballerina's don't smile because they have to be serious, they smile now. :) I remember how much my grandmother was planning on coming to watch her at her recital. She never made it, she passed a few months ago. Sophia said she was going to be a ballerina just like her 'great'.
For me, maybe not Sophi, but for me, seeing her dance is just a step in this journey of her little life. She is so happy when she is dancing, so free, just like when she rides her horse. I just adore her.
Looking back, this has been quite a year for us. Some good, some bad, just praise God for the good ones and find peace with the bad ones.

secret identity..

Along with being a secret chocolate dipped ice cream cone eater, and a secret reality television bum, I am also an secret... angry housewife.
If you didn't already know the secret is out I am "the angry housewife".
Tony is "M", Sophia is "my daughter" and Troy is "my son"
www.diariesofanangryhousewife.blogspot.com

a moment of silence...

Dear God,
I humbly ask you, Lord, on the eve of Sophia's first ballet real ballet recital and on the day of the first dress rehearsal, that you please bless my daughter with obedience. That you grant her wisdom to make the right decision. That you don't let her body start dancing like Hannah Montana on the stage while the other obedient dancers follow instruction of Mrs. Valerie. Please take away her need to stand apart from the others, on just these nights. Although this is a trait that I admire, I would like to see her dance in uniform with the other ballerinas. Please let her not be so vain as be the last one to look in the mirror, especially since she is the first one to be on stage. Let her feet follow the routine that she has learned. Please giver her kind words when she asks for more lipstick, let her be respectful to the people working backstage. Let the respect that I have ingrained in her mind show tonight. As she is tempted to act like a rotten spoiled princess... that the temptation away. Let her dance like a nice little girl. Let her have joy. Give her grace. Let her exhibit kindness, patience, and self control.
Thank you God for the bottom of my heart.
Amen.

OK, prayer warriors- pray with me tonight! I am about to wake up the princess and get her ready for the dress rehearsal. She has told me all day that she is going to 'jam out' so that everyone will look at her and not the other dancers.

Yes, I have resorted to bribbing her with chocolate and ice cream to get her to stay in uniform. I tried explaining to her that to see ballerina's dancing together like one is a beautiful thing and she said "no, I want them to wook (look) at me because I am the mostest beautifulest ballerina on the stage" -God Help Us All!!!!

I'll update you all soon.

BTW, yesterday's practice.. she walked out 'jamming out' not heel,toe,heel,toe..and then she did the pagent wave while the others where dancing. She spun in circles while the others were swaying.. she swayed while they were spinning... she knows the dance! She is trying to sabatage the others so that everyone will look at her. This is definatly going to a problem. We will just pray that chocolate and icecream will do the trick. ;) I know it is an embarassing parenting trick but really... who hasn't tried it?? Don't lie!

Tony and his cleaning techniques.

OK, now, I don't want to offend Tony or his 'cleaning techniques', if that's what you want to call it. He does help me around the house, occasionally. He does clean, occasionally.... and I am VERY grateful for when he does help.
That said... today after a great lunch as a family, Tony went to wipe off the table. He got the vacuum cleaner and was going to vacuum the table! There were pieces of hot dogs, lettuce, pickles, and shredded cheese... and he was going to try and VACUUM it up!!!
Now, it may just be me, so I need some input on this one.. but I have never and would never vacuum up that kind of food! OK, crackers in the carpet, vacuum. But hot dogs, lettuce, pickles, and cheese!!?!?
Whooo taught him to clean!!??
I have seen his mother's house and I know she keeps a spotless house so I don't know how this could have happened!
Now, I really want to hear your stories about your 'cleaning husbands'
GO FOR IT!! I want to hear!!

Going to the beach Ain't what it used to be...

A friend of mine went to the beach this weekend for their 6th wedding anniversary; leaving their 4 children at home. Just she and the hubby off to enjoy a much needed weekend just the two of them.
This got me thinking... you know what happens when I think! a blog.
We took the kids to the beach for Memorial Day. I love the beach and I enjoy my children but I don't very much enjoy my children and the beach together.
Now, I have come to terms with the fact the going to the beach now that I am a parent is never going to be the same but I can still reminisce about the good ole' days just me and the stud muffin boyfriend (who is now the father of my darling devils)catching some rays, skim boarding, taking a nap on the sand, long walks... we used to bring two towels, two water bottles, a skim board and tanning spray and stay from sun up to sun down. We used to go to the beach every weekend in the summer time. Bikinis and board shorts, flip flops and a football... what fun!
Now, we have to pack what feels like an entire bedroom for a day long trip that involves lots of work! Once we arrive at the beach it is sunscreen, buckets, shovels, towels, umbrellas, snacks, plenty of bottled water... then there is no laying on a towel to tan (who wants to wear a bikini anymore anyway, the zebra print bikini is now a dark forest green tankini!), it is chasing babies around the sand, filling up buckets of water, building sand castles, preparing sippy cups and continually rinsing them from the sand that they are dropped in. I remember how I hated to get sand on my legs, you know it totally messes up your tan. Now I feel like I am covered in sand. I plop right now in the sand with my 'tankini' and dig in the dirt with my little ones. We have made some amazing sand castles. Last time Tony dug a fort for the kids to play in. It was a big whole with dirt mounded up on the outside so when the waves came it wouldn't splash onto the kids.

If you would have told me 9 years ago that I would be sitting in a muddy sand fort with a little boy splashing mud in my hair and a little girl feeding me mud cake I would NOT have believed you. Now, I love my little darlings but going to the beach is a far cry from what it used to be.
I hope my friend and her husband had a great weekend, laying on the beach and drinking margaritas.. but yes, today it is back to work and back home with her 4 children under age 6!! AHH!! Talk about a much needed break.
Hope you had a good time girl!

Sunday

Yesterday was a good day. I love Sundays at church then home for family time!
At church our pastor has been doing a lesson on parenting. It has been so good. It has given me sooo many good ideas! One of them I want to share because I think it is exceptional!
Think of a group of people who you can surround around your child (same gender as your child and all different ages), have them commit to praying for your child and you as a parent, yearly ask them to write your child a letter, once your child is at an age that they would be able to understand have the people meet with your child as a group and talk about their walk wtih God, their struggles and triumphs in life. These are people that your child can go to who represent you, people who your child can come to when they don't want to come to you- someday they won't, ahh! I just loved this idea. A group of women who are committed to praying for my daughter as she grows. A group of men who will surround themselves around my son and he can learn from their experiences. LOVE IT!!
Yesterday we went to my mom's house after the kids got up from their naps. They played at the barn, Sophia brushed her pony. Troy chased the dogs... we always joke and say he is part of the pack'. Then we went swimming and had a great time.
Troy LOVES the water. He jumps in off the side and swims around. He was making Sophia laugh because he was humming and walking on the step then he'd fall into the water and keep acting like the was walking. Once he realized it was making sissy laugh he kept it up for a good 10 mins. Tony bought Sophia a 'magic swimsuit'. It really upset him that she can't swim and she is scared of the water. She likes it but she is afraid. He bought her this crazy looking suit with a ballerina skirt and a built in vest. She swims all around the pool in that thing! She loves it! It makes me so happy to see her enjoying the water. Good Job Daddy!
Sophia has ballet every day from Wed-Saturday this week, this is their recital week so it is going to be a busy one. LOTS of driving!! Ugh! She is excited and is going to dance beautifully!
Hope everyone has a blessed week.