hard part

Today was ruff day, no pun intended ;)

We miss Molly girl, even though we didn't get to see her everyday as we couldn't steal her away from the farm, knowing she's not running down the dirt road to swim in the water trough on a hot day makes me sad.

There is a running joke in our family that when a tradegy strikes mom won't tell us kids until weeks later. From the time we were little it's been this way.

When my pony died when I was little, she told me for weeks that he was on the other side of the property.

When my dog died she tried for days to tell us that she was down at the barn.. failing to mention she was buried at the barn.

Even when our great grandma died, she didn't tell us until after the funeral, she wrote it under 'deaths' in our bible and handed it back to us during the communion at church.

She just has never been good at passing on bad news... if we weren't there to hear about it right away she didn't tell us, not right away anyway.

So, when mom called me this morning she said, "I know you say I never tell you, so I'm telling you..." and the tears came I knew... she didn't even have to say it. I knew Molly wasn't going to make it.

It's ok mom, you don't have too...

As I gathered myself I knew I was going to have to face my own sweet ones and let them know Molly had died.

I tried three times to walk out of my room, down the hall to the living room where they were watching cartoons.

Three times I turned back and sat on the bed, crying...

and then laughing.. thinking to myself... this is why she didn't tell us.

I could seriously go about my day and just not tell them.

But I did... they met me down the hall and before I could even finish the sentence Sophia said, "Molly died huh!?"

Yes baby, she didn't make it.

Sophia melted onto the floor crying and Troy just stood there finally saying, "Today is a berry sad day Momma"

Lots of tears shed for a really great dog today.

And tonight I tucked them in and Sophia started to cry again and I thought...

yep, this is why she wouldn't tell us... she wanted us to be happy all the time...

sweet momma, we all laugh at you but I understand.. it is the hard part.