just a boy and his cars...

a boy and his cars... 

 no cares in the world... 

 and then comes in a woman....

 she will will fix it (even though nothing needs fixed)

 he is patient for a while

 and then she tells him his boy cars need wives... 

that girl has 'fixed too much' and it's just a boy and his cars... 

looking up

People with special children know that no matter how many amazing people you know who have special children the challenges to each child are unique. While the diagnosis may be the same the struggles can be far different.

For the most part I am content and at peace, then every now and again I find myself standing in that dark and lonely place, feeling sad for my child, sorry for myself, feeling like no one understands and well... like God let me down.

It is the devil that would love to flood my mind with these negative thoughts.It's the human, fleshly side of me that lets these feelings come to surface, it's these feelings I would like to never pluck out on a keyboard, they are yucky and don't make me feel proud of myself as a child of God.

But it is these moments in suffering when I also find humility, encouragement and resolution in the words of my Savior.

It is these 'yucky' moments when I find myself on my knees and looking up...

Looking to the Father, the ultimate physician, healer, redeemer... my God.

And while I come to the cross, this broken, spoiled rotten, no good human... He has the power to pick me up and remind me who I am, whose I am and what my purpose is.

I was reminded just last week in a devotional that it is key for Christians to take the precious words from scripture keep them ready when troubles and temptation comes...

Here are some of the verses that I cherish when I find myself face on the ground at the cross on this day...


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29



I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. John 14:27


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28



For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


and my favorite the one I share with my special gift from God...

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

honor and obey

Reading through this black and white composition notebook that I jotted down hundreds of different quotes and thoughts from the my get-away a few weeks ago...

I was trying to pick another one to share with you all... and since it came up in conversation this weekend I figured it's a good one to share with you all today....

The difference between honoring and obeying.... 

Watch out now! Those are two heavy words that I really don't like using... maybe it's my issues with authority... growing up these kind of words would make me run the opposite direction, kind of like the word submission (I'll save that for blog of it's own), back to the point... honor and obey....

Obey is the action and Honor is an issue of the heart

I scribbled this down in my notebook and put a big star next too it, I knew it was something I would need to come back to for myself and my children... they share their mother's authority issues 

(remember caught not taught). 

Children are called to obey their parents

Colossians 3:20 says, "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord"

Now I can't be the only one who has told my children. "the Bible says you are to OBEY your parents...."

Go to your room, 

pick up your toys, 

don't talk mean to your sister, 

be nice to your brother, 

get your finger out of our nose... 

on and on and on.... 

And when they listen.. this my friends is the action of obeying. 

but I don't want my children just to obey me, following my commands as a sort of dictator (well, yes sometimes that is nice), I want them to understand my words are teaching them something, out of love I am teaching them, yes telling them to stop picking their nose is down out of love.... but I want my children to honor me. 

Honor comes from the heart and yes, 

children are called to honor their parents; 

Ephesians 6:2 says, "Children honor your father and mother" 

While I can tell my children to go pick up their toys and most likely they will do it... but will they put their things away orderly with an attitude that honors you as their parents or are they slamming things into drawers, huffing and puffing about what you have asked of them?

I told my six year old, "I am glad you obey me, but I want you to honor me too." 

This word, honor, is not one I thought of as having a place in everyday conversations with my children, 

I'm realizing just how necessary it is though.

Are we not called to obey and honor our Heavenly Father?

Now, the hard part, are you leading by example? 

not just obeying but honoring your Earthly parents? 

how about your Heavenly Father?

If  you ask me to obey part is easy...

Honoring comes from within, it's the emotion in which we obey. 

And we are always leading them by example. The best example I can give my children is for my heart to honor God and my parents as they ask me to obey.... big gulp.. as that was even a bit hard to pluck out on the keyboard (these authority issues may be bigger than I realized). 

Just another thought from the black and white composition notebook, 

I figured someone else may need to receive this message just as much as I did... 

caught not taught

Last week I spent two days away from my loves and nurtured my mind and spirit.
I was reminded how sometimes we need to "put the oxygen mask on ourselves, so that we can protect the ones we love the most" 

No doubt that the Lord blessed this gathering of his faithful followers as the joined together to learn, share triumphs and failures, encouragement and skills with one another.
This was for homeschool parents, but no doubt in my mind all parents would have felt empowered and encouraged by the words that filled the air.
During the next few weeks I plan on making time to sit down and pluck out some of the encouragement that I received during this weekend... figure why not share the joy! I hope you find encouragement and share it with others as well...


And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:24-25

So to kick off... 

I'd like to begin with one of many quotes I jotted down in my black and white composition notebook....

"Most things are caught, not taught"

This can be from multiple arenas... what are your kids learning at school, church, work, with their peers, or with you? 

Oh, nelly... this hits home to me. You see our house is loud! I have vivid memories in the not so distant past, screaming at the top of my lungs "stop yelling!"

It's almost comical to think about, thinking about all the times I scream at my children to 'be quiet, use your inside voice'.... 

The rationale, is that I need to be louder than they are (which is very loud) 

but where did they learn to be loud? their momma. 

You see, my man, he hates loud yelling... when he comes home from work the thing the bugs him the most is when I am stressed and fussing at kids, I always wondered why it was when Daddy raises his voice everyone in the house stops, even the dog. 

Yet, I yell all day long and no one listens... that's just it you see, Daddy never yells, so when he does all eyes are on him because there is a reason for it. 

When I yell.. it's just another day in the life... or so it used to be. 

The first thing my daughter said when I got back, mommy your voice is different.... I have had those words stuck in my throat for the last week.. hard to swallow those words.. but thankful that she noticed her momma will fix it when she's been wrong. 

While I was away I had time to think, clear my mind, be filled with good thoughts and some humbling ones too...

Be easy on yourself, we all make mistakes, but we also are all offered the opportunity to start a new day... another resounding message at the convention "God's mercies are new everyday, somewhere on Earth, it's a new day... so start over now!"

I thought about the things I don't like that happens in my home... the humbling part, what I don't like... starts with me. 

So while I teach them to speak kindly to one another, they catch what I'm throwing out... and that, gulp, isn't always kindness....

So, remember most things are caught, not taught... what are you throwing? what are they catching?

schoolroom renovation!!

When we moved into this house... this was the schoolroom (to be)

Formerly a little boys race car room, the walls were terribly dirty and there was no floor, the closet doors were broken and one side was missing... complete disaster zone, perfect for me to renovate!

We moved in during Christmas break and there was SOOO much to be done that the schoolroom got put on the back burner, the floors were put in and the boarder was some what removed, but once the school supplies and students were put in place there wasn't much time for renovation, 

so this was our school room this year... 

 

The end of the school year which we planned on celebrating with our beach vacation that ended up being a stay-cation and for Tony a work-cation... resulted in the schoolroom renovation!!! 

Here is our new schoolroom... there are still a few things left to do but I couldn't wait a moment longer to post pictures!!!

I still need to add window treatments but the white blinds are serving their purpose for now. 

I love the closet doors Tony put in today... 

Tony is hanging the dry erase board and the supply holders as I type, but like I said I'm too excited to wait!!

I can't wait till next year!!! 

These are the work boxes I've been working on, art, playdoh, letter writing, tag readers, scissors and glue, etc. Everything has a place and everything in it's place! 

Oh and this nifty paper roll and holder I snagged at Ikea for all of $13

And I will post more pictures when the decorations are up... 

I love it! 

And so do the kids, they are so excited! 

Sophia asked if we really had to have summer vacation now that the schoolroom is done. 

summer vacation, not so much...

I never thought I'd be writing these words, that's for sure.... 


I went to a Christian homeschool conference this past weekend and one of the many things I learned about was the differences of sheltering your children and choosing solid Christian influences for your children to be around while they are developing their character and their virtues; it's it funny how God knows just what we need before we know we need it. 


Friday and Saturday was the conference, Sunday was church, Monday we left for vacation... 


Every year we stay at the same small family owned seaside cottages. This year I thought I'd change things up and I booked us at a big resort at a different beach. We spent all two hours there and after about the first ten minutes I knew we couldn't stay. Tony and I kept looking at each other, thinking the same thing but neither one of us wanted to break the news to the kids. 


I sure didn't think that lesson I learned at the conference was going to cost us our vacation... 


Against our better judgement we checked into the room, leaving our belongings in the car we told the kids we were going to just check it out. We knew the kids would be disappointed... we explained to them (as best we could to a four and six year old) that the people staying in the hotel weren't very polite and it wasn't very safe for us to stay here. We told them that we understood why they were angry and sad but that mommy and daddy were making the best and hard decision to just go back home. I walked the halls singing in my head "this place is not my home I'm just passing through, the angels beckon me from heavens open doors and I can't feel at home in this world anymore" When we got in the car the kids were disappointed but they knew we made the right and safest decision for them to leave. It was for their safety and their hearts we don't want them hearing bad language or being exposed to things that could harm them. 


The resort didn't wan't to refund our money, apparently the adult environment and the guests being worldly influences on our young children is not a good enough reason for them to refund the money. But more than that I'm just thankful to be home, thankful my babies are tucked in their beds safe, thankful my man is here to lead us through the tough choices that have to be made sometimes, thankful that God answered my prayers to keep our spirits up and we ended the day with pizza and family togetherness. 


We talked a lot about how people have different rules in their lives and we all choose to do things differently, some to honor God and some to not, God gives us all a choice, Troy said, "mommy, I can't wait to get to heaven, I bet they even have trampolines there" sweet guy! 


And then tucking my girl into bed she prayed to God thanking him for her good mommy and daddy who knew to bring her home from that 'dirty hotel', oh I love them! 


So thankful I can call them mine! 

is it possible I'm the only one...

who hates the ice cream truck?

I hear that horrid 'It's a small world' music being played a few streets over... as it gets louder and louder I just pray my monsters don't notice it... 

it's unmistakable... 

and what I am thinking that they won't notice it!?

that yellow and white truck with sugary, high fructose corn syrup injected, brain freeze giving  ice cream on board...

it never fails, they notice and they remind me of that one time their daddy chased down the ice cream truck so they could buy some over priced, empty calorie snacks... I hate it! 

How about some organic apple slices instead?

I am certain my blood pressure rises and I feel my heart beat go from resting to feeling as if I've just run a marathon... 

The kids scramble, begging me for ice cream, they know the answer but they ask anyway... 

The stupid truck stops in front of our house and waits.. waits... it seems as though he turns the music up to full blast as he sits on the road in front of our house. 

The kids dumping out their piggy banks trying to convince me they have enough money for the $4 popsicle that I am certain will make their tummies hurt 1/2 way through. 

No, thanks! 

Ice cream man.. keep on driving! 

And only because I find this super funny! 

How's this for ya, Ice Cream Man!! 

Muahahaha (evil laugh) 

always right...

He is always right... maybe it's the years... but he's always right...

He told me, "Baby everyone does the best they can with the tools they have. You can't build fine furniture with just a hammer, but bet your bottom dollar people are gonna try. We all do the best we can with the tools we have. As we grow we acquire more tools and we put them away in our toolbox, we may not use them for a long time, they might get rusty but we've still got 'em. Sure I might could build far better furniture with your tools, but if I don't ask for your help I've gotta use what I've got. It's all about what you do with what you got and barrowin' and learnin' from what's in the toolbox of those folks around ya"

Well, he's right again. :)

I dream of...

I homeschool.

A statement I never thought I would make. 

Ask me about me 10 years ago and I never imagined I would be a homeschooling parent. 

My how time changes things. 

I also never imagined I would be homeschooling a special needs child. 

The victories outweigh the challenges, most days. 

I find comfort, confidence and strength in homeschooling my own. 

I have challenged myself in ways I never imagined possible and no doubt I've found myself flat on my face asking God for the strength because I knew I couldn't do it without him. 

They are a gift God gave to me. They are His children and He entrusted them to me during this time they spend on Earth, I take this gift serious and in all things I do what I believe is best for them. 

I also know homeschooling is not for everyone. 

But it is for us. 

I do have days, days when I dream about the school bus driver, thank you MckMama for that. 

But like I said before I never imagined I would homeschool a special needs child... and for those of us with special needs children, we know the struggles that can occur in the school system for our exceptional children and in honor of those of us homeschooling special needs children... 

I dream of the school bus driver no more- now, 

I dream of.... 

the occupational therapist...

(or physical therapist or maybe even speech therapist, but this season in our lives it's the occupational therapist)

When I see that white car pull into our driveway I feel the peace come over me. 

Not only does this mean help with my wild woman but it means for the next two hours there will be another adult in my house...

Another person to keep a watchful eye...

an adult to love on and support my girl...

another person to help get through the tasks of the day that can seem so overwhelming to my girl... 

someone who understands that her loud voice and inability to focus is not because she is choosing to misbehave...

someone who recognizes the small triumphs...

a person who my daughter loves spending time with...

our OT is the one I dream of. 

It can be a lonely road homeschooling a special needs child, it isn't something all homeschooling parents understand... I notice the strange looks when I talk about creating a multi-sensory environment and concern with the development of fine motor skills, but this is our life and I wouldn't change a thing... except maybe our OT would come five days a week instead of two. 

Thanks Miss Denise, we love you!!! 

10 things....

1. Today I thought homeschooling might be the death of me. It was one of those days when no one wanted to follow directions, keep focused or do much of anything (including myself). But we got through it, discipline is important and homeschooling has taught me there is little room for laziness. Maybe some would have given into the day but I like to view days like today as opportunities to lead by example and even when we don't feel like doing certain things we all have responsibilities and need to discipline ourselves to get the job done. (And that doesn't happen all the time either- but it was that thinking that spurred me forward to encourage the kids to get it done and do it well!)

2. I love reading with my little man, we have been reading lots of his books lately. I need to get him to the library to check out some books but we have an enormous fine (yes, I am one of those people!) and I can't ever seem to remember to carry cash to pay it. Maybe we'll do that this afternoon. Imagine this, I lost a book, well, two books... one of them "Homeschool and Organization", ironic huh?

3. I have replaced one meal a day with vegetables. I have always hated veggies, realizing what a contradiction this was, as I harp on my children about eating their veggies, I have replaced one meal a day with all veggies, usually it's lunch but last night it was dinner I had fresh squash and green beans cooked in the skillet, today for lunch I had steamed broccoli with feta cheese. The kids are even joining in too, sometimes!

4. I am the worst about checking my voice mails on my phone, if I could disable my voice mail I would. I usually wait until my voice mailbox is full and then I have no choice but to check them. There was a time when I left my mailbox full so that no one could leave new messages, then I discovered they still could leave messages the mailbox would just delete the oldest message and replace it with a new one. I've been trying to keep up with it better and this morning I checked my mailbox and I only had 5 old messages... that's a record people!

5. I've been reading a book called 'Secrets of Solitude' and it is changing my heart. No doubt in my mind God sent this book to me at just the right moment in my life. I love how He speaks to us that way.

6. My friend had to put her dog down last week and I cried because I missed Molly, Lucy, Tater-Tot... dogs really are man's best friend.

7. Sophia and I took off for a 'Mother/Daughter Day'. It didn't turn out quite how I had planned but we had fun. It's always nice to get to enjoy her. The boys were supposed to go see a movie but they ended up working on the never ending 'Honey Do List', there is something great about seeing my man hanging doors and changing air vents. There were about one hundred other things that I needed to get done but I am so glad I took time to enjoy that girl. She's growing  up so fast. I adore her!

8. I am so ready for the home school convention at the end of this month. It will be the longest I will have been away from the kids, I think ever... silly I know but Thursday till Sunday is a long time! I'm looking forward to it though, good community, education, fellowship and lots of encouragement.

9. The song, "He's Mine" by Rodney Atkins gives me butterflies thinking about what Troy is going to be like when he's bigger. He is so wild. A few months ago a cop pulled onto our road. I was raking leaves, Troy was riding his bike and there was a stray dog on the other side of the road. The officer rolled down his window and asked Troy, "Is that your dog, son?" Troy bowed up his little chest, and  in this very deep voice said, "no, you gonna arrest me now?" The officer laughed rolled up his window and drove away... I just kept raking leaves and praying for that curly headed little mess riding his bike along the sidewalk.

10. Sophia is gluten free! That's the latest buzz in our house. The doctor suggested that we try it, the OT suggested it may help with some of her sensory and attention problems. They said considering her mother and brother had Celiac Disease and we already eat gluten free it's worth a try. She may not have Celiac but it may be affecting her in a different way, possibly neurologically. So we are supposed to give it two weeks and see if we notice a difference. I think Troy is enjoying that Sophia can't eat cookies and crackers anymore, misery loves company. This afternoon I am going to make some GF treats for them. Sophia has begun OT twice a week now, they come to our house and she really likes her "therapists".  After her OT appointment last week we went to "chick-a-lay" for lunch and she told the guy behind the counter, "My therapy went really well today." I just laughed.. what to do!? She's a hoot! I wonder what he thought. Keeps life interesting that is for sure.