Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen...
Here is the dumbest thing I think I've ever done. Now, in my defense, I don't think I would have done this had I not been so tired. Remember the stories about sleep deprivation? This could go right under that topic.
I stumbled into the house last week at 7am, no I wasn't out all night partying like a rock star, I was working. It had been a long night and all I was wanting in that moment was my bed.
However, I was the only one home on this morning so I had to take the dog out and take a shower, keep in mind I work in a hospital, I must take a shower and disinfect when I get home!
Upon getting out of the shower I put my toothpaste on my toothbrush and began to brush. Although the toothpaste didn't suds up like normal. I spit and my tongue went numb. I grabbed the toothpaste tube and realized it was anti fungal cream!
AHH!
I spit, and spit, and spit, and grabbed the crest and began brushing my teeth faster and harder than ever!
It was all I could do to read the back of the anti fungal tub and read the follwing " if swallowed contact poison control immediately".
I felt like my tongue was swelling, my throat was closing... I felt faint. I grabbed the phone book, looked up the number for poison control.
Multi-tasking, I rinsed my mouth with water and dialed the number.
It was ringing... my mind was spinning... what would I tell them, "yes I just brushed my teeth with athletes foot cream" NO! So, I did the same thing that any honorable woman would do. "Poison Control, How can I help you?"
"Yes, my daughter just tried to brush her teeth with anti fungal cream, I don't think she swallowed it but is there anything I need to be concerned about?"
"What exactly is the cream, mam?"
Oh NO, they know it was me..
"Equate, Anti fungal Cream, for athletes foot 1% anti fungal"
"How old is your daughter mam?"
"4"
"How much does she weigh?"
"One hundred.... I mean forty pounds" I almost lost it... I hope that's how much a four year old would way? My three year old weighs 32lbs so I thought that sounded about right.
"OK, mam, let me look this up for you."
I waited, feeling like my throat was closing, I couldn't feel my tongue, I may not be able to talk much longer.... was my voice horse?
"OK, looks like everything is going to be fine, go ahead and give her something to drink and rinse her mouth, call us if you need anything else...."
Instantly, my symptoms disappeared, just what I wanted to hear. I was going to survive. Ahh....
I gargled with Listerine and fell into the bed... I called Tony and told him what happened, just in case I died in my sleep. I can see the headlines "Mother found dead after brushing her teeth with athletes foot cream."
Sheesh!