wanna talk about my boy...

My little bright eyes, not even a year old...

Momma's Boy!!
What an amazing little guy he is.
He has stolen my heart and I don't think I'll ever have it back again.
He is running through the house with his Tonka Dump Truck he runs it into my feet and gives me a big kiss and runs away again.
He is twirling his curly hair with his fingers which is a sure sign he is tired.
He will never admit he is sleepy but he will be sleeping as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He still loves being rocked at night and his, "I'll rock you momma." has become an appropriate, "Will you rock me?"
He likes to make a mess and watch me, "Freak Out!" He loves to drive me crazy... and he does!
Still my little bright eyes, curious as ever during his 2 year photo session...

I cannot believe that he will be three next month. I'm so glad that he is a big boy who is happy and learning and talking and jumping and running and full of life... He really is a cool little guy. And he will tell you, "I'm a cool guy" We know Troy!

(That naughty little smile was a result of the knife was reaching for while we were taking the picture, he really is a dead give away when he is trying to be sneaky.. )

Just for fun...

Doesn't Troy kind of look like Hyde from 'That 70s Show' ????

fortune cookie....

The kids and I went to the Chinese buffet today for lunch, yummy! We planned on a trip to the grocery store after but we were full and tired so we came home for a nap instead. Getting ready to head out in a few for the grocery store...

So I am totally not one to put any faith in cookies... but I have to share what my fortune cookie read today,

"Where your heart is, there your home will be also."

OK- I've been telling myself that my heart is down south and while I am packing, working, homeschooling, and going to school myself... it will all be worth it to be with Daddy again!

We are making steps towards getting moved. Next on the list, finding a house... I have a realtor who is helping me... I pity him as I am sure I am driving him bonkers!

When I was in line at the bank I opened a second fortune cookie that was hiding in my purse,

"What are you waiting for, get moving."

So I prompty drove home and packed two more boxes! ;) Maybe there is something to this cookie thing..

just as I thought...

I re-read the 'missing our daddy' post and yes, kicked myself in the tushy for feeling sorry for myself. We are so blessed. Regardless though, some days are harder than others and my goodness Tuesday was a hard one! I just hate seeing my kids sad. Thank you Kati for the encouraging words... that was perfect!
Wednesday and Thursday have been much brighter, I thank God for that. Wednesday was an easy day, we went grocery shopping, we had dinner at my grandma's house and went swimming. Today we went to Aquatica. What a fun time! We got passes a while ago and have been enjoying them this summer. For those of you with little ones and big ones... Aquatica has a lot to offer and it is very fun!
Here is a pic my sister took on her phone today of the kids when we got to the park, they were checking out the dolphin tank at the entrance.

We are making steps towards moving and as sad as I always imagined I'd be to move away, I really want to be with my hubby so it just doesn't seem to matter. Our family is here and I will miss them terribly, but we will visit often and it's only 4hours away, not four days away...
Home is where our family is and a very important part of my family is down south and I want to be there with him!

missing our Daddy

I love this picture. One of the few of us all together as a family. This was our anniversary and we were dropping the kids off at the farm so we could go to dinner.
I guess I should look into getting some family pictures taken... uhmm..



Tony working down south is getting harder and harder on the kids. I see differences in them.
Sophia is even more emotional than usual. She gets her feelings hurt easy. She is just overall more sensitive. She was having one of her 'moments' tonight and asked me if we had a book with pictures of just her and Daddy... I have lots of photo albums but none would do, she wanted a special book. I told her we could work on a special project tomorrow and we would make her a 'special book'. Tomorrow we are going to make her a scrap book with pictures and things so when she is sad she can look at it.... I just hope it doesn't make her more sad when she looks at it.
Try explaining to a four year old that the economy is in the toilet and their are no good paying jobs in this area and that because of health insurance I have to keep my job and have to keep working... It is just too much. Of course I don't tell her that, I just tell her that Daddy is working hard to take care of his family. His job is far away and until we can find a house we have to stay here. I tell her that Daddy is living in an RV and we can't all fit, there is no room for toys or clothes. She understands that. She asks me everyday when I can quit my job. I tell her I have to work so that we can save money because houses cost a lot of money.
I'm just so glad I only have to work two nights a week. I'm so thankful for my mom who keeps them for me and my sister for watching them for a few hours in the mornings so I can sleep.
Troy misses Daddy too, but he is younger and a momma's boy. He asks me, "Daddy's working?" I say, yes, and that is good enough for him. Sometimes when we come home from the grocery store or something he will run in the house and yell, "Daddy, you home?" I remind him that Daddy is at work, and he goes about his business, but you can tell it is something that is on his mind. He is also far more clingy when Tony does come home. He wants to be right by Daddy's side and if Tony leaves the room more than likely Troy will too.
Tonight was one of the hardest nights yet, seems like every couple days we have a bad night, always at bedtime. Sophia told me tonight that she feels safe when Daddy is home. I reasured her that Mommy locks all the doors and is just as safe as Daddy... I know what she means though. Nothing beats waking up with him right there.
I miss him too, but I am ok, I am busy and keep moving along. I have my moments when I want to load up the kids and leave but that isn't realistic.
Counting down the days but this whole thing is pretty crappy... tonight anyway. It is just a bad night. Tomorrow will be better and I will read this blog and wish I hadn't posted it, thinking how rotten I must sound to those people who have lost spouses or military families with family overseas. We have it pretty good, but even so tonight is crappy and it all goes back to being real... there is no denying that tonight has been a crappy night, but tomorrow will be better and with a new day a new attitude. Umm.. doesn't make tonight any better though. Well, maybe I'll drown my sorrows in some coco crispies.. ;)

love this very brave girl

Sophia went down to children's today for an EEG.
She has become quite the pro, when it comes to these tests. She was a bit apprehensive this time, but once she remembered the routine she became a bit of a clown. Making silly faces because she realized it would mess up the test. What a stinker!
We did the whole sleep deprivation thing, which is far harder on me than her... thus, I didn't work the beginning of this week. No sugar or caffeine, not that it is a normal part of her diet, sugar yes, but caffeine no. She was thrilled to stay up past her bedtime, not to happy to get up early this morning. I took the kids swimming this morning, we were in the pool before 9am, I was thinking it would get her nice and worn out. Wouldn't you know we got there and she didn't sleep a wink! I was sure she would fall asleep on the way home, nope.
I am currently typing this from her bed, while she still fights falling asleep, I could fall face down on the keyboard but she is still full of piss and vinegar. I think she is so tired she really can't fall asleep. She can't stay awake forever right??
It has become a bit of a tradition for me to play on the computer while she falls asleep. I lay at the foot of her bed with my laptop and she falls alseep listening to the Christian Praise and Worship songs that are on my computer.
She is my little princess Baby! I am so proud of her.
If this EEG comes back with normal results we are one step closer to getting off of a daily medication.
Remember she has too....
be seizure free (grand mal seizures) for 18 months -we are about 13 and 1/2 months in
have a normal 1 hour EEG- we did that today, waiting for results
at her appointment in December if still seizure free we will wean off the medication, then have a 4 day EEG inpatient at the Children's Hospital.
Baby steps- but I am so hopeful that it will be normal results. ;)
I would love to have her off of daily medication! Give her liver a fighting chance. ;) She will need to have another ultrasound for her liver and some bloodwork done in the coming months but nothing urgent, just keeping tabs on it since her liver has been enlarged and high enzymes. Probably from all the medication that her little liver has had to process in the last four years.

Sophia shows us everyday how to walk by faith. My brave one. I love you Sugar Bear!