missing our Daddy

I love this picture. One of the few of us all together as a family. This was our anniversary and we were dropping the kids off at the farm so we could go to dinner.
I guess I should look into getting some family pictures taken... uhmm..



Tony working down south is getting harder and harder on the kids. I see differences in them.
Sophia is even more emotional than usual. She gets her feelings hurt easy. She is just overall more sensitive. She was having one of her 'moments' tonight and asked me if we had a book with pictures of just her and Daddy... I have lots of photo albums but none would do, she wanted a special book. I told her we could work on a special project tomorrow and we would make her a 'special book'. Tomorrow we are going to make her a scrap book with pictures and things so when she is sad she can look at it.... I just hope it doesn't make her more sad when she looks at it.
Try explaining to a four year old that the economy is in the toilet and their are no good paying jobs in this area and that because of health insurance I have to keep my job and have to keep working... It is just too much. Of course I don't tell her that, I just tell her that Daddy is working hard to take care of his family. His job is far away and until we can find a house we have to stay here. I tell her that Daddy is living in an RV and we can't all fit, there is no room for toys or clothes. She understands that. She asks me everyday when I can quit my job. I tell her I have to work so that we can save money because houses cost a lot of money.
I'm just so glad I only have to work two nights a week. I'm so thankful for my mom who keeps them for me and my sister for watching them for a few hours in the mornings so I can sleep.
Troy misses Daddy too, but he is younger and a momma's boy. He asks me, "Daddy's working?" I say, yes, and that is good enough for him. Sometimes when we come home from the grocery store or something he will run in the house and yell, "Daddy, you home?" I remind him that Daddy is at work, and he goes about his business, but you can tell it is something that is on his mind. He is also far more clingy when Tony does come home. He wants to be right by Daddy's side and if Tony leaves the room more than likely Troy will too.
Tonight was one of the hardest nights yet, seems like every couple days we have a bad night, always at bedtime. Sophia told me tonight that she feels safe when Daddy is home. I reasured her that Mommy locks all the doors and is just as safe as Daddy... I know what she means though. Nothing beats waking up with him right there.
I miss him too, but I am ok, I am busy and keep moving along. I have my moments when I want to load up the kids and leave but that isn't realistic.
Counting down the days but this whole thing is pretty crappy... tonight anyway. It is just a bad night. Tomorrow will be better and I will read this blog and wish I hadn't posted it, thinking how rotten I must sound to those people who have lost spouses or military families with family overseas. We have it pretty good, but even so tonight is crappy and it all goes back to being real... there is no denying that tonight has been a crappy night, but tomorrow will be better and with a new day a new attitude. Umm.. doesn't make tonight any better though. Well, maybe I'll drown my sorrows in some coco crispies.. ;)