Our own cross

About a month or so ago, I was finally ready to accept that this may be our daughter's future- medicines, "break through seizures"(this is what the doctor calls seizures while children are on medication), bad days, mood swings . I guess until this point I thought she would just grow out of having seizures; some children do. (She still could, I don't give up hope, but I did need to accept it) As her seizures kept continuing and we kept learning what her issues were I decided to accept it and face it head on. Until this point I was in the "we are so blessed that this is all we have to deal with" mode. And we are blessed! Something I want to throw out there though is that we all have our own cross to carry. This is Sophi's cross and until she is older I will carry it for her. It may not be a big cross and it could be much heavier but it is our cross. While crying on the phone to my sister in law, Anne Marie (I cry to her lots -she is one of those great people who you feel comfortable crying to) I told her I felt so guilty that I was crying over this when while I was at the neurologist office earlier that day it was my baby walking and talking, she wasn't in a wheelchair, she appeared totally fine. She reminded me that Sophia did belong there, I do have the right to cry, and she said it perfectly when she said "we all have our own cross to carry." She is sometimes so profound in my rantings... I have a darling nephew, Gabriel, Anne Marie and Matt's (the brother in law) son who has ADHD and in that moment she shared with me Gabriel's cross and the daily trials that they have with him. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it that way before... I was blind in my hope and wasn't allowing myself to be sad- it's ok to be sad. No matter the size of your cross in comparison to someone else; it is still your cross and it is still heavy.