Why no blogs since March?

Recently I made my blog, public on facebook, mostly so friends and family could keep up with what we were up too. We have many family members who live far away and for them I like to share photos and stories. It was then that I realized how many people I was putting myself out there too. People I hadn't spoken with in years were reading about my family and many of them because they care but others for other reasons. I have since removed that facebook option. I will still share our lives on my blog, but I will continue to do so but with much more discretion. You see the new age of social media makes my head hurt. I want my children to feel emotions not learn to show 'emocions'. I want to led by example that thank you notes should be handwritten and sent in the mail, not a status update on facebook. Invitations should be directed to those you love and care about, not mass emails to whoever will show up. The privacy of this life is being stripped away and God has spoken to my heart that this is important to my family. It may be a far cry from the days of my blogs when I spoke about transparency and being real, but I ask you to understand that my thoughts are clear and being real isn't blogging about a dirty kitchen... or laundry piled on the couch, we all have that. Being real is sharing my convictions, my heart and how God is working in our lives. I'm not sure what will come of my blog, like I said, I love sharing, I love the quiet time my blog provides me with to reflect but I am learning that I don't have to do this over a keyboard for everyone to see.

contentment

on a good morning....

i am up with the sun, waking walk across the hall into the school room and wrap myself in the cozy throw blanket, walk down the hall into the kitchen make a cup of coffee while I read my morning devotional...

then i make breakfast for my man, who is already in the shower getting ready for a hard day at work...

the oldest hears daddy getting ready and wakes up bright and joyful ready to start her day...

with breakfast on the table the kids and i share plans for the day...

tony heads off to work and the kids and i begin our chores and schooling for the day...

NOT!!!

It never happens this way, maybe once a month, twice if something really exciting is going on...

It never happens this way!!

And to be honest.... I don't want it too.

I get it, some of you are morning people, you wake up and your morning is blessed by making breakfast and morning devotionals, gathering your thoughts and plans for the day before the busy begins....

me... I'm a night owl, maybe it was the year and a half I worked night shift 7pm-7am but I am a night person. I go to bed around 12 or 1am, I like to wake up about 8....

no one in my house likes to eat breakfast, so why would I get up slave away in the kitchen when Tony says breakfast too early makes him nauseous, Troy is like me and if he is allowed will sleep well past 9am and Sophia is more than content with a bagel with cream cheese!?

As far as morning devotionals go... devotionals are important. Whoever, put the word morning in front of devotional wasn't thinking about us night people... and I'm certain there are people like me out there... most mornings I can't remember how to make a cup of coffee much less read a morning devotional, too much thinking in the morning gives me a headache... I want to read a devotional when I'm good and awake, ready to absorb those heavenly words... not when I'm rubbing crust out of my eyes, I usually read my devotional at night when the house is quiet and their isn't any pressing chores to do.

So, how do our mornings go?

Well, let's start with the nights....

I like doing laundry, dishes and those chores at night. So typically, we have dinner no one cleans the kitchen right away- that time is reserved for family. Tony rolls on the living room floor with the kids or they watch a special show, tonight it was a Discovery documentary about sea creatures, the boys watched it while Sophia and I sang songs in her bed and played with her guitar. Then I fight them to brush their teeth before bed and we end every night with their special lullabies and prayer. While I'm doing that Tony is normally taking a shower. Once the kids are in bed that is quality time for me and Tony, we spend a few hours, till around 10 together, talking about our day, watching movies, then off to sleep he goes. That is when I have my "5am Time" about 10pm every night. I read a devotional, get online to check emails, blogs, whatever. Then the chores begin, I pick up the kitchen, laundry and enjoy the quiet of the house. This is my favorite time of day, knowing my family is home, everyone is safe, peaceful quiet time.

Then come morning, my guy wakes up his coffee is set for him... I don't have to get up and make his breakfast for him to know I'm thinking of him, I usually write him a love note right before I go to sleep wishing him a good day.

The only thing about the above story that is true- is that Sophia does usually hear Tony getting ready and she always wakes up bright and happy ready to start her day.
She is my early bird, she normally will get herself breakfast and doing some learning activities on the computer- she likes this time in the morning. Tony tells me she flits around enjoying it being just the two of them.

I usually wake up around 8am as Tony is running out the door. I used to scold myself for this, not being up and dressed to see him out... but I realized a while ago and I'm realizing more and more everyday... all families are different... so often in our culture with social medias documenting and publizing every area of our life (yes, just like my blog) we so easily fall victim to comparing ourselves with others and some of us victim to thinking our way is best.

Oh, she does this and she does that... her way is better... I love learning new ways and sometimes something someone else does is good and it may work better... but I don't believe it is healthy or necessary to put "good" and "right" in a box when it comes to our families...

Families do what works best for them. For my family, for me, momma sleeping in till 8am does a world of good for everyone. In another season in my life I'm sure getting up early may be my thing... but right now, I'm striving from contentment. I'm happy to have my "5am Time" at 10pm.

the happenings around here...

There is so much going on these days, I feel like I barely get finished with one day and another one is only hours away...

I enjoy it though, I must say I like the fast pace... don't get me wrong I like lounging around in my pajama's just as much as the next person but I enjoy spending days with family and friends, housework, homework, raising children... I love all that makes up this busy life.

Tonight my guy played a little on the guitar. It's been a long time since he has pulled out that guitar and played for us. I love that the kids don't even ask for the television to be turned on when Daddy is playing... they dance around and enjoy the sound. Hearing him play the guitar reminds me that this life doesn't have to be near as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be.



Everyone has been asking me about Miami... our trip has come and gone. It went well, exhausting, but good. Tony drove down with us and he stayed one night and left the following evening. The kids and I stayed until Friday. We juggled our time between visiting with family and taking Sophia to the many doctor's appointments that were lined up for that week. We really liked the doctor and Sophia was more than comfortable in Miami, in fact, she cried when we had to leave. We were driving in crazy traffic one morning and I said, "Who in there right mind would want to live her? What is so great about this place? and Why is everyone in such a hurry?" (way to be positive huh? hey- we all have our moments)Sophia squeals in the backseat, "This is the greatest city ever, they are in a hurry because it's MIAMI!!!" The appointments all went great and we learned a lot about how Sophia's brain works, how she processes information and the affects her seizures have had on her development... altogether she is a bright, witty, affectionate six year old who is the light of her momma's life and still has her Daddy wrapped tight around her little finger.



Troy on the other hand is not so thrilled with Miami. I felt pity on the poor guy most of the week. He rarely smiled... partly due to the horrible allergies he was struggling with (he was allergic to my cousin's dog, Tank, in the picture above) so that made it tough for him. But even more down because in Miami, "there is no forest and no dirt" You know what Troy loves... dirt... and forest.. a life without the forest and the dirt isn't a life worth living, in Troy's mind anyway. Before we even got home my mom had a load of clay delivered to her house, just for Troy (and she says I spoil him)and the day after we got home Troy spent two days at the farm, in the forest and dirt.



So, that's that.. just wanted to catch up since it has been awhile.

funniest. thing. ever.

Troy is right now, at this exact moment, in the shower singing...

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies, I love all the single ladies... shake your booty, shake your booty yea yea.. show 'em how ya do it now!"

I can hear him stomping around in their with his buzz lightyear toy singing his heart out.

Loving this!!

soooo over this...

Why is it young children are obsessed with bodily functions?

Now maybe my daughter gets it from the influence of her younger brother, because I cannot for the life of me imagine she would come up with these things on her own...

we've had a lot of sickness going around our house in the last few weeks, which may have spurred their new found interest in bodily functions

Either way... they are discovering bodily functions everywhere and telling me all about it.

They found a tissue box at the pediatricians office that gave all kind of facts about snot and as long as we waited to see the doctor that day we read and reread all of those facts over and over again, which only spurred their interest.



From sneezing, burping, tooting, spitting, urinating, pooping even crying... if it comes out they want to know who? what? where? when? and why?

They want me to "come and see" every time they blow their nose, go to the bathroom or spit on the ground.

This is one part of raising these monsters that I am not enjoying....



The only good thing about it all, they are gaining a whole new understanding of why we wash our hands!

well, Sophia just blew her nose... gotta "come see this!"

who me? not me?

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh cool, me? I'm hiding.

From the kids. I'm in the bathrooom, well, the shower to be honest...

No, I'm not taking a shower, I'm hiding in the shower, with my cell phone and a bag of cookies and Sophia's silly putty.

I just need a moment and this is the only place they won't find me.

Oh sheesh.. I gotta go Troy is calling me...

planting new roots

It's different here lately.

New air circulating (and I don't mean our repaired A/C)

There is a feeling in our home, a presence that wasn't there before...

it was there just not as strong as it is today.

My husband leading our family, spiritually speaking, it has relieved me, I am able to serve my family, my husband and my children in a new way, better, more Biblical way. I'm not doing the job that he was supposed to do, I have relinquished that to him, that is his role and his job and it feels so good to have a partner in it all.

I was planting flowers a few days ago and I was contemplating our new roots.



As the kids rode their bikes around the cul-de-sac, I heard them laughing and playing with each other.

Tony was at work and I was home, making a home.

It isn't really what I never imagined I would do, I never thought I'd be a wife or a homeschooling mom who was an involved in her church, have a relationship with my Savior that I have today.

I thought I would love God, I thought I would have children (at some point), I wanted to be a flight nurse, a professional, do amazing things, visit far away places... and sometimes I dream, it's fun to dream, but their is no where I would rather be.

And as for amazing things... I think I witness amazing things everyday, in the lives of my children, myself, my husband, the community around me, the good in people, the God in people, I do see amazing things.



Back to working in the yard...

As I prepared the soil for the new plants, as I raked away leaves, dug my hands into the Earth I began to sift through the dirt.

I found roots from things planted before, they were dead and dry, I tossed them into a pile

Sometimes it was hard work pulling those old roots, they were planted deep.

As I was preparing the ground, preparing to plant new roots, bright and alive...

I thought about how in our own life, in our hearts and our minds we must uproot the things from before, the old, the dead and dried up- what our life was

and we must prepare our hearts and minds for the new, bright and alive.


Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

everyday moments...

Sophia was "training" the dog today.

Remember Mt. Laundry, the never ending mountain of laundry??

Today Sophia was squealing in delight as she had "trained" the dog to climb the mountain...

What mountain you ask?

Mt. Laundry of course.

Nothing like a 6 year old to humble you...

she then informed me that "Jazzy-Bell was far to scared to stay on the top of the mountain because it is way too tall, but she did go up and down"

Yep, humbled...

you know what I'm am doing tonight? Folding :)

hard part

Today was ruff day, no pun intended ;)

We miss Molly girl, even though we didn't get to see her everyday as we couldn't steal her away from the farm, knowing she's not running down the dirt road to swim in the water trough on a hot day makes me sad.

There is a running joke in our family that when a tradegy strikes mom won't tell us kids until weeks later. From the time we were little it's been this way.

When my pony died when I was little, she told me for weeks that he was on the other side of the property.

When my dog died she tried for days to tell us that she was down at the barn.. failing to mention she was buried at the barn.

Even when our great grandma died, she didn't tell us until after the funeral, she wrote it under 'deaths' in our bible and handed it back to us during the communion at church.

She just has never been good at passing on bad news... if we weren't there to hear about it right away she didn't tell us, not right away anyway.

So, when mom called me this morning she said, "I know you say I never tell you, so I'm telling you..." and the tears came I knew... she didn't even have to say it. I knew Molly wasn't going to make it.

It's ok mom, you don't have too...

As I gathered myself I knew I was going to have to face my own sweet ones and let them know Molly had died.

I tried three times to walk out of my room, down the hall to the living room where they were watching cartoons.

Three times I turned back and sat on the bed, crying...

and then laughing.. thinking to myself... this is why she didn't tell us.

I could seriously go about my day and just not tell them.

But I did... they met me down the hall and before I could even finish the sentence Sophia said, "Molly died huh!?"

Yes baby, she didn't make it.

Sophia melted onto the floor crying and Troy just stood there finally saying, "Today is a berry sad day Momma"

Lots of tears shed for a really great dog today.

And tonight I tucked them in and Sophia started to cry again and I thought...

yep, this is why she wouldn't tell us... she wanted us to be happy all the time...

sweet momma, we all laugh at you but I understand.. it is the hard part.

"it's a berry sad day"

I'd like to believe that there is a special place in heaven for the great dogs.

We lost a great dog today.

The injuries were too great and she fought hard, her wagging her tail until the last days, our sweet Molly girl.



She was a good girl and will be missed very much.

Troy said it best, "it's a berry sad day"