planting new roots

It's different here lately.

New air circulating (and I don't mean our repaired A/C)

There is a feeling in our home, a presence that wasn't there before...

it was there just not as strong as it is today.

My husband leading our family, spiritually speaking, it has relieved me, I am able to serve my family, my husband and my children in a new way, better, more Biblical way. I'm not doing the job that he was supposed to do, I have relinquished that to him, that is his role and his job and it feels so good to have a partner in it all.

I was planting flowers a few days ago and I was contemplating our new roots.



As the kids rode their bikes around the cul-de-sac, I heard them laughing and playing with each other.

Tony was at work and I was home, making a home.

It isn't really what I never imagined I would do, I never thought I'd be a wife or a homeschooling mom who was an involved in her church, have a relationship with my Savior that I have today.

I thought I would love God, I thought I would have children (at some point), I wanted to be a flight nurse, a professional, do amazing things, visit far away places... and sometimes I dream, it's fun to dream, but their is no where I would rather be.

And as for amazing things... I think I witness amazing things everyday, in the lives of my children, myself, my husband, the community around me, the good in people, the God in people, I do see amazing things.



Back to working in the yard...

As I prepared the soil for the new plants, as I raked away leaves, dug my hands into the Earth I began to sift through the dirt.

I found roots from things planted before, they were dead and dry, I tossed them into a pile

Sometimes it was hard work pulling those old roots, they were planted deep.

As I was preparing the ground, preparing to plant new roots, bright and alive...

I thought about how in our own life, in our hearts and our minds we must uproot the things from before, the old, the dead and dried up- what our life was

and we must prepare our hearts and minds for the new, bright and alive.


Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

be kind to yourself

I don't know about you but I have a way I like to do things, my plan for the day... and then the way the usually end up happening.

Mornings

My plan: Rise before the monsters, have a cup of coffee and sit quietly at my desk, reading my devotional, praying, then answering emails and maybe write a blog, then send Tony off for work and get the monsters their breakfast, dressed and time for their studies.

The way it happens: I am exhausted from staying up late, trying to get it all done, which I failed once again, the kids get up before me they watch Sponge Bob(which I hate), Tony kisses me and runs out the door with a cup of coffee that I didn't make him, I lay in bed, pray for strength to get through the day, then drag myself to the coffee pot, read my devotional between making frozen waffles for the kids and finding Troy a pair of matching socks, the kids fight, I send them back to bed and answer some emails. I look over at the clothes piled high on the couch and decide to go back and lay down until the coffee takes affect.

Sometimes I just feel like I can't get it together. I know other mommas feel the same way. I hear them come down hard on themselves for not getting it together quick enough in the mornings, for loosing their temper, for never getting the laundry completed, for the dirty dishes left in the sink... then I see their children's faces... smiling, clean, chubby cheeks running around the playground... proof of their job well done.

This morning as I ran around the kitchen, kicking myself for not getting up early enough to see my husband, I felt him kiss me before leaving but I didn't see him, mornings when my eyes are closed when he leaves are never good mornings. I rummage through the pots and pans from the night before, looking for a clean plate for Sophia's frozen waffles, I grabbed my devotional book off the desk... reading it while heating Troy's frozen sausage links. When I opened my devotional book this morning I felt God speaking right to me "Be Kind to Yourself" was the title.

"Be Kind to One Another, Tenderhearted, Forgiving One Another, Even as God in Christ Forgave You" -Ephesians 4:32

I read it and thought, oh this Max Lucado, he is confused... this verse is about being kind to others. Forgiving one another and treating each other with kindness and compassion as Christ does for us.

As I read on he talked about how can be so hard on ourselves, yet Christ forgave us, He knows even the worst things about us. Things that others wouldn't imagine. Yet, he loves us, He calls us His followers, His children. He instructs others to treat us with kindness, love one another... so why are we so hard on ourselves?

Pushing and trying to be better, yes. But- being hard on ourselves when it doesn't happen the way we planned? no.

So, it's 10am... the kids are still in their pajamas, I'm still in mine... we need to venture to the grocery store and do our school work... this day isn't going how I planned but that's ok.

Today, tell yourself it's ok, be kind to yourself.

doing for them is good for me

My monsters have been a little under the weather lately.

No real symptom just lots of little things, runny noses, coughing, they seem to need more rest than normal.

Any time children are sick it leave more work for the parent.

My sweet friend has four sick little ones right now. Her days have been filled cooking, cleaning, washing, wiping, it seems never ending...

She says, "they have never all been sick at the same time."

And this momma just wanted them well.

She wanted happy smiles and joyful laughter to fill her home again, and it will but in the meantime she is left doing the dirty work.

As I washed dishes for what seemed like that millionth time, my hands were beginning to crack from being in the water so much during the last two days, I put lotion on my hands and went into the living room to refold the laundry that the dog knocked onto the floor, I stepped on Troy's monster truck and screamed as pain shot from the middle of my foot up my leg, I sat on the floor for a moment rubbing my foot. My focus quickly shifted as I noticed the tiny pieces of purple playdoh that was scattered under the dining room table... yes, it indeed never ends.

And I think, this is what God calls me to do?

In that moment I wanted to throw all the toys into the garage, scream and run through the house like a mad woman, call my husband tell him to come home from work and take care of "his children" so I could escape...

but no, because this is what God calls me to do, to do this with a loving heart, a humble heart, to have grace and mercy, to be their Momma and love them, pick up their toys, wipe their noses, rock that feverish child in the middle of the night.

Doing for them is good for me. It teaches me, it forces me to find strength inside myself and strength in my Lord. Motherhood humbles me, I am better because of the little sacrifices I have made for my children.

Parents are in unique positions if you think about it, we get the opportunity to come as close to understanding God's love for us as anyone can imagine. God's love for us is even more than the love we have for our children.

And in our sick, grumpy, whinny, dirty moments. I am so thankful that he doesn't scream, slam the door and escape His children. He scoops us up, fixes our mistakes, kisses our boo-boos, holds us, makes us better, because we are His children.

As thanksgiving quickly approaches I am so thankful to be His child.

beauty from ashes...

Yesterday was a solemn day,
nothing seemed to go right,
a day to remember,
and as morning broke,
a new sunrise, a breeze in the air
and I want to breath it all in and keep this moment.
My children laughing,
sunshine on my skin,
I want to capture this joy and save it for a day like yesterday.

Isn't that how the Lord intends it to be,
in the hurt and ashes of this life,
I think of a wildfire,
such destruction and loss,



yet, because of the destruction life is born
and a new life springs for the ashes,
and beauty prevails once again.

Though the wildfires of this life bring hurt and destruction,
without them we wouldn't have the opportunity to feel days like today,




The beauty that follows the fires of this life,
While we all face the disappointment of this fallen world,
find peace in knowing beauty will spring from the ashes.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to enable them to fulfill the purpose for which they are called. Romans 8:28

moving mountains...

a sigh of relief...
a prayer of praise...
long awaited...
a day of accepting grace.

Grace that is free to everyone, all you must do is choose Him.

This wife has prayed long and hard for this day to come...

an answered prayer today...

The song, "Savior he can move the mountains..." I've sang this many times, pleading with God to move the mountain... and before we got to the chorus that mountain got to moving...

My sweet and loving husband made the most important decision today...

oh how sweet this victory was.

Tears of joy...

I asked why now?

and he said "why fight something that I know is right?"

This man who hasn't cried in over ten years...

he wipes the tears away, saying, "I don't know why I'm crying"

glorious day...

it's is supposed to be emotional, it should bring us to our knees, God is that mighty and His gift is eternal...

I cannot wait to see what the future holds for this leader, this man, I am proud to call my husband.

change

My man always says the only thing that is constant in this world is change.

He knows I hate change

He tries to comfort me with these words

I know he is right... this life has continually brought change to us.

I have been struggling lately as we prepare for another change

I wouldn't call it comfort, but I find understanding when I recognize that everyone experiences change, that the only thing that is constant in this world is change, I get it, it helps a little... but as I focus in on the words my man says...

this world, the only thing constant in this world...

I am not of this world... I live in this world but I am of His world and in His world He is constant, never changing, He is the rock.

So while I may struggle with the change of this world I find peace in the constancy of my God.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. -Hebrews 13:8

talking to God

Sophia got into some trouble this afternoon...

Her troubles usually land her in a quiet place where she can sit to think about what she did, why she did it and what she could do next time.

As she sat there she began to talk...

She was talking to God...



As she began to pray, she knew I was listening...

God my mommy is so mean...

She doesn't treat me nice...

I'm so mad...

Then she stopped...

I know God...

She isn't mean...

She does treat me nice...

I know, she makes me mac n cheese, she helps me wash my hair, she makes sure I have clean sheets on my bed...

She is a good mommy...

I know...

I know...

I know...

Amen.

She began to cry as she looked up at me.

I smiled and told her I love her and that I think she is a really great daughter.

She cried and told me that she knew I was a good momma...

She told me she talked to God because she was mad, but God talked to her,

Actually it was Abuelita, God let her tell me how good of a momma you are to me...

She told me she likes it when God lets Abuelita talk to her and she wished she could talk to her more...

I told her I was glad she got to talk to Abuelita too.

rain

Rain, soul cleansing rain...
Yesterday the kids ran around the farm with their Mimi and GrandDaddy.
They made scarecrows...
They splashed in the puddles...

They let the rain fall on their sweet faces.
I love the rain...
it makes me feel alive.
To feel the rain drops on my skin...
It awakens my soul...
reminds me that there is so much more to this life.

And in this drenching rain
God reminds me to treasure those He gave me.
Hold tight to their little hands,
jump with them in the puddles...
and praise Him in this storm.

confession time...

Yep, it's that time again...
This morning began like a whirlwind... we all have mornings like that.
I have learned since having children, when a mother says, "It's been a crazy morning"... it's really been nuts.
On Tuesdays we have homeschool co-op, I try to get up about 7am, get myself dressed, coffee, lunches packed, then get the kids up. I try to leave the house about 9am so we can stop by Office Max to make copies of history worksheets for the elementary students.
This morning, I woke up at 8:10... not on time.
Troy and Sophia dragged in, not in good moods, apparently I was "moving too fast" for them. I plopped them in from of the life-sucker (television) so I could get ready.
I gave them frozen waffles and got them dressed.
I had planned to make an important phone call before they woke up and that was not working out this morning. This was one of those must dos... and it was turning into a cannot do...
I needed a quiet place to make this phone call and it was not working out...
So where does a mom go when she needs peace and quiet?
I'd say the bathroom, but no, they follow me in there...
I hid...
hid in the kid's closet...
as I stood there among the clothes, hoping they wouldn't find me, I prayed,
"God please let this day get better, let me make it through this day, Amen"
I get off the phone and go to find the kids,
shoes,
lunches
and out the door...
Where was Sophia!? In the playroom closet...
doing what?
praying....
"God please help us have a good day"
I scoop her up, assure her this is going to be a good day and sometimes things don't happen like we plan them but it's no biggie.
She rushes off to get her shoes... never having been so helpful.
Where was Troy?
in the backyard, on the trampoline... soaking wet from the sprinklers that had drenched the trampoline.
Really God!?
I drag him in, fussing at him to go take off those wet clothes.
I go get him dry clothes, dress him again....
I forgot about the dog.
I get the dog, take her to potty, feed her...
Now, get the kids, shoes, lunches and out the door (let's try this again)
Did I mention it was 9:08...
Troy Anthony... just guess, he was...
on the trampoline...
again...
I yell out the door, "you better get in here and pray your clothes aren't wet!"
I feel my heart in my ears...
TROY ANTHONY!! Soaked again and now I'm late.. or going to be...
I find him new clothes and warn him if he goes outside and gets his clothes wet one more time we will stay home and he won't jump on the trampoline for a week... I may have threatened to send him to live with his Great Grandma too... but either way... I was serious.
So, we get to Office Max... guess what... the copier is down...
and do you think anyone is there to help me?
Nope, all the employees were outside on their smoke break... really standing around outside smoking...
so it was me, Sophia and Troy vs. the copy machine.
We got out of there at 9:36... not making good time... did I mention I hate being late.
We got there just in time.
The chaos from the morning was fading and we were right where we needed to be.
Sophia was sitting with her friends, showing off her new red purse that her "Aunt Nonnie" (Tony's mom) gave her.
Troy sat on my lap.
The director asked if anyone had a prayer request?
Troy raised his hand... "pray for my mommmy, that her won't be angry with me"
My heart melted, I sank in my seat, kissed my boy his curly head...
momma isn't mad at you baby
How can you be mad at that?
Did I want to get out the door on time?
Did I want him to listen?
Did I wish I had woke up earlier?
Yes, but did any of that really matter?
Nope... not one bit.
We were together, fed, clean, happy, healthy and sitting in our church getting ready to fellowship with some great families...
So, no, that morning all of the madness really didn't matter one bit.
I didn't need to pray that God would help us have a good day...
I needed to pray that God would help me see the good in this day and recognize that everyday is a gift.
So- I did just that...
and you know what, it really was a great day.
Did I mention today is my daddy's birthday :) Tomorrow I'm taking him out to lunch to celebrate.

look what God has done...

I look at the last 5 years of my life and cannot believe what God has done.
He is perfect and when we allow Him to take full control (which I don't know if I will ever be good at, but I sure try)He can make our lives great.
I literally feel Him in control of my path.
The confidence of knowing He is leading me and the security that comes with that truth would have been unimaginable to me 5 years ago.
Five years ago I thought I had it all figured out.
I thought God was leading me.
God shook me.
He wanted to show me, to teach me, that I was not allowing Him to have full control,
He gave me the chance to fully put my trust in Him,
I did.
The path has not been an easy one,
there have been many ugly moments,
things I am embarrassed of,
no one is perfect and those who know me know I'm the first one to admit my faults,
but I have the grace of a perfect God and that makes me feel pretty darn good.
We have some exciting things happening in our life (not another baby!) and I'm so excited to share with you what God is doing... but not just yet.

Hope everyone is having a great week.

patting you on the back

I used to say it was God's way of patting me on the back saying everything was ok.
You laughed and rolled your eyes.
I knew you didn't understand and that's ok.
But I still tell you because someday you will recognize all the times that He has pat you on the back.
You just don't notice it yet.
Sometimes it's a "job well done" kind of pat.
Other times it's a "get yourself right" kind of pat.
"Pay attention I'm trying to show you something" kind of thing...
I see them a lot more lately...
you recognize them more too.
I know you feel Him.
He is reaching out to you.
I pray the next time he pats you on the back that you reach out and cling to His mighty hand.
Walk with Him a while, let Him show you the way back, back to Him, back to life everlasting.
He's there.
He always has been.
He always will be.
Waiting for you, patting you on the back.

Growing Up

Troy seems to be growing so much.
He was a late bloomer when it came to talking...
he was practically three before we could understand much of anything.
I knew he was the kind of 'talker' that had it all inside,
he was just waiting for the worlds to come.
His fourth birthday will be here in a few months and I love talking with this little guy.
He loves to tell stories.
Often times in the evenings Tony will come home and sit on the couch with him and they will talk and talk...
I love listening to them.
Not just talking but understanding...
He really understands things now.
I used to give direction after direction and wonder why he didn't 'get' it.
He gets it now.
With that understanding comes some new emotions too.
Ignorance is truly bliss...
Until recently Troy didn't recognize when someone was being mean,
he didn't understand when someone was unkind
or when someone wasn't being honest.
He didn't understand that people can hurt one another with their words.
He has been telling me a lot, "people should treat each other with kindness."
Something I've told him for a very long time now,
but now those words have meaning.
He knows what kindness means and he understands when others aren't being kind.
It's a little sad to see him recognize the cruelness in this world
but I am proud of the kind little person he is becoming.
I know there will be many seasons in his life but I hope he never forgets to treat others with kindness.

A new commandment I give to you,
that you love one another: just as I have loved you,
you also are to love one another.
-John 13:34

simple faith

My Sunflowers have grown so beautifully...

They aren't my sunflowers though.

They are actually Sophia and Troy's sunflowers.

You see, I was planting them in a straight row along the back of my garden.

I imagined these big beautiful sunflowers growing along the back row of my garden.

The kids were so excited about gardening, planting, chattering about what fruits and vegetables we would get to eat from our garden. Sophia complaining to me about why I was planting bell peppers, which she doesn't like.
Troy wondering when the pineapples would be done.
I wasn't getting much done with them hoovering over me.
I brought out all kinds of toys for them to play with while I worked in the garden,
they wanted their hands in the dirt, "God's dirt" as Troy calls it.

I gave them each a hand full of some extra sunflower seeds and told them to go plant them...
anywhere you want.
I didn't care what they did with them as long as they were away from "my" garden.

They planted them in white sand along the side of the house...
they chattered to each other about how big they were going to grow.
I didn't want to see them disappointed but I wanted to prepare them that those seeds would probably not grow there. That white "play sand" was not good for plants. Sophia snapped back at me "it's all God's dirt mommy! they'll grow!"
She was angry that I told her the seeds she worked so hard with her brother to plant may not grow.
They worked hard to bury the seeds in a straight line, they didn't want to bury them to deep,
maybe I shouldn't have told them they weren't going to grow there...

Everyday while I watered my little garden,
Sophia and Troy joined me... watering their white sand along the side of the house.
They believed that they would grow.
I would hear Troy talking about "God's dirt" and Sophia telling him, "soon, Bubby, soon, we will have plants."
They never doubted that those sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt."
I knew better but decided I would keep my thoughts to myself, I didn't want to upset them.

A few weeks later...


Tony decided to put up a little barrier to protect the little ones from the lawn mower.
The sunflowers I planted in the rich soil with my garden hadn't even begun to grow!? I was shocked!
The kids weren't... they were happy, but not surprised.
They knew all along that their sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt".

I believe that God intended for me to get annoyed with my children that day we began our garden.
He intended for Sophia and Troy to plant those sunflower seeds in that white sand.
It was no accident that I spoke to my children telling them that those flowers would not grow and it was God speaking to me through my daughter when she said, "it's all God's dirt mommy! They'll grow."
No doubt in my mind that God intended to teach me a lesson
while I watched my children day after day come outside and water the white sand
all the while they spoke about "God's dirt"
and believing without a doubt that those sunflowers would grow.
It was no mistake that those little sunflowers grew and have continued to grow and thrive!

The smallest of them is already over 3 1/2 feet tall!!
Imagine the excitement from my faithful children when they woke up and saw this...


So close to their first "real" sunflower
Sophia said, "I knew it! I knew God would give us Sunflowers!"
Oh, and "my" sunflowers... well they didn't make it!
Troy and I went out and picked the dying plants from the back row of the garden yesterday.

Why do we as adults have to be so blind to the obvious? This world has no doubt jaded us, something as simple as this. A child can see it so clearly... seeing that God gave us a Sunflower.


Thank you God for my children,
for their faithful spirits,
for revealing Your hand in all things,
even things as simple as this.

...and Jesus said, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” -Mark 10:13-16

Hardest Thing

I'd say the hardest thing about being a Christian and the mother of a child with a chronic illness is the balance between faith and reality.

That balance between the faith of knowing that God has the power to change this circumstance and the reality that these are things we face and God gave this child to us, in the great moments and in the not so great ones.

We live in the reality that our daughter may one day have a seizure and never wake up, that she could end up with brain damage, she could wake up and never be the same person again.

We live with the reality that every day is a blessing and we should count it as such.

The reality that she may never be able to have a baby (even though she says she doesn't want children).

The reality that she will most likely be that independent teenager screaming at us because by law she cannot get her drivers license if she has uncontrolled seizures.

Yet as a Christian I have faith that God can cure her.

Faith that He can take this burden away.

That there is hope that Sophia will never have another seizure again.

That the "growing pains" of cerebral palsy will not affect her.

That she will grow up, go away to college, get married, and have a family of her own.

The faith that tells us God can... and the reality that this is our life.

I am not mad at God.

I wonder why.

I scream and ask him to let her be free from this.

But I am faithful, humbly accepting this that this was always God's plan for my
Sophia, that she is His Sophia too.

That while this is my plan B, it was never God's, He made her, created her to do great things.

My reality is to be the momma to this sweet girl.

To guide her through this life.

To hold her on the hard days and rejoice with her on the good days.

My reality is to be a strong, faithful, Christian momma to this child who God trusted me with.

"And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

I was talking with my daughter today while I was making her bed.
She sat on the floor playing with her baby dolls.
She told me she was sad because she knew her Poppa was getting old and she didn't want him to die.
"Baby, no one lives for ever"
She started to talk and I knew just what she was going to say and I cut her off saying, "I know Jesus and God, yes, you are right."
"No, Mommy" she said, "we all live forever in Heaven because we believe, I just meant I don't want Poppa to grow old, die, and live in Heaven because then it will be a long time until I can see him again."



Thank you God for eternal life and reminding me of that today. -In Jesus Name- Amen.

Me Disease

I try to wake up early and have this peaceful devotional time, sitting in the kitchen nook, drink my coffee, and reading my Bible.... well 99.9% of the time it just does NOT work out that way.
I usually end up reading my daily devotional when I take the kids swimming. A few weeks ago I was reading a devotional from one of my Women of Faith Bibles and I was reading a lesson about how we have to be conscious and aware of the 'Me Disease'. Instead of thinking about ourselves, our wants, our desires, we should seek to put others first. One of the simple suggestions I read was 'offer to watch a neighbor's child, even for an hour so they can get something done". Being a mother of young children, I thought... oh I'd love one of my neighbors to watch my children, even for an hour...
ME ME ME....
Not a moment later a neighbor and friend joined us at the pool with her young daughter. This neighbor has a 2 year old daughter and 6 month old twin daughters... 'offer to watch a neighbor's child'... I offered to watch her daughter for a few hours the following morning.
What a blessing to enjoy that sweet girl spending some time in our home.
Sophia loves helping with little ones and this little one is the perfect age, where Sophia can help her get a drink, snack, help her color, it was a wonderful morning.
We still left the mommy with two infants, I'm pretty sure she appreciated the 2 year old being entertained, even though it was a short time.
I was sharing this story with my friend and Sophia overheard me talking about the 'Me Disease'. Once I hung up the phone, Sophia burst into tears....
"I don't want the 'Me Disease' will I catch it??"
I explained to her what it meant and how it is important that we do things for other people, we should put others first, and God will smile.
The lawn man was working in the yard and Sophia squealed at the thought she had to make lunch for the "lawnmower man".
He has been cutting our grass for almost 3 years and we didn't even know his name.
That day, Sam enjoyed broccoli quiche, cookies, and juice for lunch.
So, teach your children about the 'Me Disease', warn them of the symptoms, and immunize them so they can fight this illness :)

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
-John 13:35

not too high

I was driving in the car with my little ones.
We were driving to my favorite place on earth. My parents farm... down that dirt road... it is the only place that really feels like home.
Only a short drive from where we live now, a few minutes in the car.
The clouds looked like white cotton floating against the ocean blue sky.
I wasn't the only one who noticed it.
Sophia says, "Mommy, how do we know God is up there? We can't see Him."
She has been asking this kind of thing a lot lately. A question that comes with age, although I wasn't expecting her to ask just yet.
We have talked a lot about faith, about the disciples, evidence that supports Jesus walked with man on this Earth, we talk about heaven, and how God is preparing a place for us, what a joyful day it will be when He calls His children home.
I smiled and told her God is always watching us.
Troy sat quietly and said, "Sophi, He is up there, so high we can't see Him, but not too high so He can hear us."
...mouth of babes.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1

I've read that before..

I was sitting in church a few weeks ago. Listening to a sermon, a sermon on a verse I had read many times before.
A verse I heard many services on..
A verse I read many devotionals about...
Yet, I had never heard the verse depicted this way.
While I sat, listening, I heard someone say, "I have read that verse before"
I thought to myself...
what Christian hasn't? I mean, bottom line is it's a popular verse among believers.
So many verses, popular ones, unpopular ones, uplifting verses, humbling verses... I've heard many verses.
I was blessed to be raised by a Christian Momma, I had a strong Christian Aunt, both of these God-fearing women read me many Bible stories, sang Bible songs, read countless Bible verses to my growing mind. I went to a Christian school where you studied the Bible if you wanted to or not...
Yes, I have heard this verse before...
On of the things I so treasure about the Bible, is you can read the same verse and throughout time the meaning of that verse will transform.
As we grow from babies in His Word the Bible transforms with us, it transforms us.
We can hear the same verse over and over again, yet each time, each season in life take something different from it.

Thank You Lord for allowing your Word to be relevant in our lives while transforming our lives. Thank you for all the times I can hear your word, over and over again.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
Matthew 5:6

Josh Wilson came to our church!!

How cool is that!!!

This Sunday Josh Wilson blessed our church by leading worship and sharing his musical talent with us.

Music always reaches me... I'm sure it does that to many people. It gives me goosebumps, makes my heart ache, it connects the spiritual, the emotional, and the physical... it makes me feel the unseen.

A good worship service makes me cry and leaves me wanting to know more, learn more, be better.

Josh sang a few songs but there was one 'Before the Morning'.

He spoke about his friends and their son. They were told their child wouldn't live, that he would not survive a terrible heart condition. This "baby" is nine years old now.

I let Sophia and Troy sit in on worship service this Sunday and I held tight onto my little girl during this song.

The little girl who neurologists said may not learn to walk or talk because of the lack of oxygen to her developing brain because her seizures were so severe, the little girl who still baffles doctors with her abilities.

The five year old who walked through church that morning sporting her "grown up dress".

The one who says, "In heaven I won't have to take medicine that hurts my tummy and I won't have seizures."

Last week was a hard week for her... how I hate to see her struggle.. yet God uses her, and she continues, even in her struggle, to teach me, led me, being a reminder of what is really important and that in Christ we have hope.

My sweet girl who dares to believe, that we still have a reason to sing, because the pain can't compare to the joy that's coming...

Oh how you have blessed my life Sophia Ann, I thank God everyday for letting me be your Momma.

Everyday we have with you,
may not be easy,
we'll take the good and the bad....

I refuse to let your life, your hurt and your sucess be in vain. Your life is a testimony, you will do great things in this life sweet girl. You an inspiration to me, God is using you...

Life is not a snap shot, it may take a little time but you'll see the bigger picture, would you dare, would you dare to believe, that you've still got a reason to sing, 'cause the pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming, so hold on you gotta wait for the light, press on and just fight the good fight, cause the pain that you've been feeling, it's just the dark before the morning...

Here's the music video so you can watch the song I'm raving about...
may it be an inspiration to you as well, may you find joy in knowing it's just the dark before the morning...

my prayer for you

While you are sleeping, I pray for you.

I pray that you'll seek Him.

I pray that you will see all of the great things He has done in your life.

The things He wants to do.

I pray for patience,
That I won't push to hard,
or too little.

I pray that God gives me the right words.

That He guides my footsteps.

While I pray for you,
I see a new me.

A me that tries harder,
prays more,
thinks more,
speaks less.

I want to be an example.

I feel overwhelmed sometimes,
I'm not perfect,
I won't pretend to be.

Yet, I know in my heart that this is right.

This is His will for us,
for you.

I pray that I encourage you,
show you grace when I am frustrated,
and acknowledge your triumphs.

I want your eyes to see Him.

In Him you will find peace,
answers to your questions,
and peace.

I pray that you find,
not your way,
but His way.

This is my prayer for you.