desires vs expectations

A desire is defined; a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment, an expressed wish; request.

An expectation is defined; the act or state of looking forward or anticipating, something expected; a thing looked forward to.

I hear them say the holiday wasn't what they expected, some say it was more... some say it was far less... some look back with thanksgiving... others look back with ill thoughts.

I thought about their expectations, some expected a holiday with family all around, yummy food, handmade ornaments, everyone beautifully dressed, lots of presents, photo worthy moments captured in perfect lighting, a morning at church worshiping the King of Kings, smiling facing, laughter and joy, togetherness and peace.

I learned a few years back how expectations can make us feel, how our expectations and the build up to receiving can often create a feeling of loss, or breaking even. When your expectations are met, that's just it, they are met, nothing more but breaking even to what you thought you should have received in the first place.

I have always tired to not let my desires become expectations, to be joyful in all circumstances, humble in the celebration, taking it all in and being peaceful in what is.

When we desire something we long for it, we imagine it but we don't expect it. We do not feel that it is something we deserve.

If my desire to have my children neatly dressed and on their best behavior during Christmas morning church service was an expectation I must say when Troy smeared his sausage and egg quiche all over his red Christmas vest and wiggled in my arms all church service it may very well have begun the destruction of my Christmas expectations...

If my desire to have a clean house that smelled like apple cinnamon candles when family arrived was an expectation; I would have been pretty downcast when wrapping paper, plastic clasps from new toys being unwrapped and the dog battling a tummy problem covered my living room floor and there was no time to look for the striker to light the candles.

When the dog pooped on the floor, my husband feel asleep on the couch, Troy's shirt had a stain on it, the weather was too warm for our long sleeved Christmas shirts and the kids pulled out more and more toys in the excitement of sharing their new things with family I caught myself letting my desires become expectations...

feeling annoyed that my husband was snoring and not helping me prepare, feeling upset that I couldn't make everything look perfect before family would arrive...

deep breath...

don't let the desires for this day become expectations...

Family is coming over... who cares if the muffin pan is dirty in the sink, the counters are cluttered with sugar, measuring cups and stirring spoons.

The kids are darling, happy and excited about the day... that was my desire... not that they can't wear their Christmas shirts... but that joyful noises are filling my home.

My husband, my snoring husband, worked all day Christmas Eve, woke up early to open presents with his children and insisted we all go to church Christmas day, he will be back to work early Monday morning to provide for us... my desire was to have him help me... and help he does, did and will do... so let him nap before family and friends arrive.

And my desire was to be together, and together we were...

I snuggle next to my man on the couch, let the kids play, scattering toys all over the living room floor so that no one could walk through the house, without stepping over a toy soldier, jar of playdoh, little stuffed dog or remote control car.

Because I didn't let my desires become expectations I found my desires fulfilled, my every wish for this Christmas Day... I didn't break even... I am blessed.

Dear one, don't let your desires become expectations, do not measure the day by expectations met, treasure each moment, the good and the bad... and watch your desires become reality.