I look at the last 5 years of my life and cannot believe what God has done.
He is perfect and when we allow Him to take full control (which I don't know if I will ever be good at, but I sure try)He can make our lives great.
I literally feel Him in control of my path.
The confidence of knowing He is leading me and the security that comes with that truth would have been unimaginable to me 5 years ago.
Five years ago I thought I had it all figured out.
I thought God was leading me.
God shook me.
He wanted to show me, to teach me, that I was not allowing Him to have full control,
He gave me the chance to fully put my trust in Him,
I did.
The path has not been an easy one,
there have been many ugly moments,
things I am embarrassed of,
no one is perfect and those who know me know I'm the first one to admit my faults,
but I have the grace of a perfect God and that makes me feel pretty darn good.
We have some exciting things happening in our life (not another baby!) and I'm so excited to share with you what God is doing... but not just yet.
Hope everyone is having a great week.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Discover Science Field Trip
Today we went to a field trip with our co-op.
It was a fun day for the kids with lots of hands on planet/solar system related learning.
I'll spare the details and just share the pictures.
Here is Scarlett and Colin working on their play-doh planets, they both have older siblings who are in our co-op.
Riley, Sophia and Natalee making the planets, 4 inner planets were little and 4 outer planets were larger.
Troy shared about Mercury...
Sophia didn't want to go up and share about one of the planets so Riley joined her up front for support, he is a great friend.
The kids watched a short video from Bill Nye the Science Guy about the distance between the planets.
Then they got to make a scale of the planets distance from one another and demonstrate how they revolve around the son. Here's Rusty helping (building) Troy's scale.
Last part of our visit the kids got to go in the 'star lab'. We all crawled into this dome and got to see a presentation about the stars, very cool.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Our Classroom
Recently I switched the kids into one room so we now have a classroom/playroom :)
Helps reduce the risk of distractions.
This is our work area...
Eventually I would like to turn the closet into the reading nook but until then, it houses the toys.
This is where the kids hang their completed work, in the evenings I go in and put everything in their portfolio..
This is my space, where I keep workbooks, lesson plans, manipulatives, all the 'teacher stuff'
I keep our learning lists on the wall.. more for me but the kids like looking at it to know what we will be learning each day.
Classroom rules, something every class needs to have...
and more toy storage, I moved a utility shelf from the garage and it works perfect to keep toys out of the way...
Most important... my students, hard at work... loving their new school room.
Helps reduce the risk of distractions.
This is our work area...
Eventually I would like to turn the closet into the reading nook but until then, it houses the toys.
This is where the kids hang their completed work, in the evenings I go in and put everything in their portfolio..
This is my space, where I keep workbooks, lesson plans, manipulatives, all the 'teacher stuff'
I keep our learning lists on the wall.. more for me but the kids like looking at it to know what we will be learning each day.
Classroom rules, something every class needs to have...
and more toy storage, I moved a utility shelf from the garage and it works perfect to keep toys out of the way...
Most important... my students, hard at work... loving their new school room.
Monday, September 12, 2011
My Birthday Weekend
My mom gave me the best birthday present 27 years ago... life... and this birthday weekend she treated me and the hubby with a weekend away. I'd say this birthday present was a close second to the day she birthed me into this world. :)
Tony and I haven't gone away in 6 years without the children, a far overdue mini-vacation and something we value and we are already planning to get away again soon.
We went to Ormond Beach while the monster's stayed with my mom. The kids had a great weekend and were glad to see their momma and daddy when we returned.
They made me this beautiful cake to welcome me home on Sunday afternoon. :)
On Sunday morning we checked out Tomoka State Park and did some canoeing...
We saw lots of fish and manatee in the river, def made some great memories on this river.
Oh- and who knew that Outback made a gluten free chocolate thunder from down under! So Yummy! Happy Birthday to me!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
patting you on the back
I used to say it was God's way of patting me on the back saying everything was ok.
You laughed and rolled your eyes.
I knew you didn't understand and that's ok.
But I still tell you because someday you will recognize all the times that He has pat you on the back.
You just don't notice it yet.
Sometimes it's a "job well done" kind of pat.
Other times it's a "get yourself right" kind of pat.
"Pay attention I'm trying to show you something" kind of thing...
I see them a lot more lately...
you recognize them more too.
I know you feel Him.
He is reaching out to you.
I pray the next time he pats you on the back that you reach out and cling to His mighty hand.
Walk with Him a while, let Him show you the way back, back to Him, back to life everlasting.
He's there.
He always has been.
He always will be.
Waiting for you, patting you on the back.
You laughed and rolled your eyes.
I knew you didn't understand and that's ok.
But I still tell you because someday you will recognize all the times that He has pat you on the back.
You just don't notice it yet.
Sometimes it's a "job well done" kind of pat.
Other times it's a "get yourself right" kind of pat.
"Pay attention I'm trying to show you something" kind of thing...
I see them a lot more lately...
you recognize them more too.
I know you feel Him.
He is reaching out to you.
I pray the next time he pats you on the back that you reach out and cling to His mighty hand.
Walk with Him a while, let Him show you the way back, back to Him, back to life everlasting.
He's there.
He always has been.
He always will be.
Waiting for you, patting you on the back.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Growing Up
Troy seems to be growing so much.
He was a late bloomer when it came to talking...
he was practically three before we could understand much of anything.
I knew he was the kind of 'talker' that had it all inside,
he was just waiting for the worlds to come.
His fourth birthday will be here in a few months and I love talking with this little guy.
He loves to tell stories.
Often times in the evenings Tony will come home and sit on the couch with him and they will talk and talk...
I love listening to them.
Not just talking but understanding...
He really understands things now.
I used to give direction after direction and wonder why he didn't 'get' it.
He gets it now.
With that understanding comes some new emotions too.
Ignorance is truly bliss...
Until recently Troy didn't recognize when someone was being mean,
he didn't understand when someone was unkind
or when someone wasn't being honest.
He didn't understand that people can hurt one another with their words.
He has been telling me a lot, "people should treat each other with kindness."
Something I've told him for a very long time now,
but now those words have meaning.
He knows what kindness means and he understands when others aren't being kind.
It's a little sad to see him recognize the cruelness in this world
but I am proud of the kind little person he is becoming.
I know there will be many seasons in his life but I hope he never forgets to treat others with kindness.
A new commandment I give to you,
that you love one another: just as I have loved you,
you also are to love one another.
-John 13:34
He was a late bloomer when it came to talking...
he was practically three before we could understand much of anything.
I knew he was the kind of 'talker' that had it all inside,
he was just waiting for the worlds to come.
His fourth birthday will be here in a few months and I love talking with this little guy.
He loves to tell stories.
Often times in the evenings Tony will come home and sit on the couch with him and they will talk and talk...
I love listening to them.
Not just talking but understanding...
He really understands things now.
I used to give direction after direction and wonder why he didn't 'get' it.
He gets it now.
With that understanding comes some new emotions too.
Ignorance is truly bliss...
Until recently Troy didn't recognize when someone was being mean,
he didn't understand when someone was unkind
or when someone wasn't being honest.
He didn't understand that people can hurt one another with their words.
He has been telling me a lot, "people should treat each other with kindness."
Something I've told him for a very long time now,
but now those words have meaning.
He knows what kindness means and he understands when others aren't being kind.
It's a little sad to see him recognize the cruelness in this world
but I am proud of the kind little person he is becoming.
I know there will be many seasons in his life but I hope he never forgets to treat others with kindness.
A new commandment I give to you,
that you love one another: just as I have loved you,
you also are to love one another.
-John 13:34
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
simple faith
My Sunflowers have grown so beautifully...
They aren't my sunflowers though.
They are actually Sophia and Troy's sunflowers.
You see, I was planting them in a straight row along the back of my garden.
I imagined these big beautiful sunflowers growing along the back row of my garden.
The kids were so excited about gardening, planting, chattering about what fruits and vegetables we would get to eat from our garden. Sophia complaining to me about why I was planting bell peppers, which she doesn't like.
Troy wondering when the pineapples would be done.
I wasn't getting much done with them hoovering over me.
I brought out all kinds of toys for them to play with while I worked in the garden,
they wanted their hands in the dirt, "God's dirt" as Troy calls it.
I gave them each a hand full of some extra sunflower seeds and told them to go plant them...
anywhere you want.
I didn't care what they did with them as long as they were away from "my" garden.
They planted them in white sand along the side of the house...
they chattered to each other about how big they were going to grow.
I didn't want to see them disappointed but I wanted to prepare them that those seeds would probably not grow there. That white "play sand" was not good for plants. Sophia snapped back at me "it's all God's dirt mommy! they'll grow!"
She was angry that I told her the seeds she worked so hard with her brother to plant may not grow.
They worked hard to bury the seeds in a straight line, they didn't want to bury them to deep,
maybe I shouldn't have told them they weren't going to grow there...
Everyday while I watered my little garden,
Sophia and Troy joined me... watering their white sand along the side of the house.
They believed that they would grow.
I would hear Troy talking about "God's dirt" and Sophia telling him, "soon, Bubby, soon, we will have plants."
They never doubted that those sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt."
I knew better but decided I would keep my thoughts to myself, I didn't want to upset them.
A few weeks later...
Tony decided to put up a little barrier to protect the little ones from the lawn mower.
The sunflowers I planted in the rich soil with my garden hadn't even begun to grow!? I was shocked!
The kids weren't... they were happy, but not surprised.
They knew all along that their sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt".
I believe that God intended for me to get annoyed with my children that day we began our garden.
He intended for Sophia and Troy to plant those sunflower seeds in that white sand.
It was no accident that I spoke to my children telling them that those flowers would not grow and it was God speaking to me through my daughter when she said, "it's all God's dirt mommy! They'll grow."
No doubt in my mind that God intended to teach me a lesson
while I watched my children day after day come outside and water the white sand
all the while they spoke about "God's dirt"
and believing without a doubt that those sunflowers would grow.
It was no mistake that those little sunflowers grew and have continued to grow and thrive!
The smallest of them is already over 3 1/2 feet tall!!
Imagine the excitement from my faithful children when they woke up and saw this...
So close to their first "real" sunflower
Sophia said, "I knew it! I knew God would give us Sunflowers!"
Oh, and "my" sunflowers... well they didn't make it!
Troy and I went out and picked the dying plants from the back row of the garden yesterday.
Why do we as adults have to be so blind to the obvious? This world has no doubt jaded us, something as simple as this. A child can see it so clearly... seeing that God gave us a Sunflower.
Thank you God for my children,
for their faithful spirits,
for revealing Your hand in all things,
even things as simple as this.
...and Jesus said, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” -Mark 10:13-16
They aren't my sunflowers though.
They are actually Sophia and Troy's sunflowers.
You see, I was planting them in a straight row along the back of my garden.
I imagined these big beautiful sunflowers growing along the back row of my garden.
The kids were so excited about gardening, planting, chattering about what fruits and vegetables we would get to eat from our garden. Sophia complaining to me about why I was planting bell peppers, which she doesn't like.
Troy wondering when the pineapples would be done.
I wasn't getting much done with them hoovering over me.
I brought out all kinds of toys for them to play with while I worked in the garden,
they wanted their hands in the dirt, "God's dirt" as Troy calls it.
I gave them each a hand full of some extra sunflower seeds and told them to go plant them...
anywhere you want.
I didn't care what they did with them as long as they were away from "my" garden.
They planted them in white sand along the side of the house...
they chattered to each other about how big they were going to grow.
I didn't want to see them disappointed but I wanted to prepare them that those seeds would probably not grow there. That white "play sand" was not good for plants. Sophia snapped back at me "it's all God's dirt mommy! they'll grow!"
She was angry that I told her the seeds she worked so hard with her brother to plant may not grow.
They worked hard to bury the seeds in a straight line, they didn't want to bury them to deep,
maybe I shouldn't have told them they weren't going to grow there...
Everyday while I watered my little garden,
Sophia and Troy joined me... watering their white sand along the side of the house.
They believed that they would grow.
I would hear Troy talking about "God's dirt" and Sophia telling him, "soon, Bubby, soon, we will have plants."
They never doubted that those sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt."
I knew better but decided I would keep my thoughts to myself, I didn't want to upset them.
A few weeks later...
Tony decided to put up a little barrier to protect the little ones from the lawn mower.
The sunflowers I planted in the rich soil with my garden hadn't even begun to grow!? I was shocked!
The kids weren't... they were happy, but not surprised.
They knew all along that their sunflowers would grow in "God's dirt".
I believe that God intended for me to get annoyed with my children that day we began our garden.
He intended for Sophia and Troy to plant those sunflower seeds in that white sand.
It was no accident that I spoke to my children telling them that those flowers would not grow and it was God speaking to me through my daughter when she said, "it's all God's dirt mommy! They'll grow."
No doubt in my mind that God intended to teach me a lesson
while I watched my children day after day come outside and water the white sand
all the while they spoke about "God's dirt"
and believing without a doubt that those sunflowers would grow.
It was no mistake that those little sunflowers grew and have continued to grow and thrive!
The smallest of them is already over 3 1/2 feet tall!!
Imagine the excitement from my faithful children when they woke up and saw this...
So close to their first "real" sunflower
Sophia said, "I knew it! I knew God would give us Sunflowers!"
Oh, and "my" sunflowers... well they didn't make it!
Troy and I went out and picked the dying plants from the back row of the garden yesterday.
Why do we as adults have to be so blind to the obvious? This world has no doubt jaded us, something as simple as this. A child can see it so clearly... seeing that God gave us a Sunflower.
Thank you God for my children,
for their faithful spirits,
for revealing Your hand in all things,
even things as simple as this.
...and Jesus said, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” -Mark 10:13-16
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Hardest Thing
I'd say the hardest thing about being a Christian and the mother of a child with a chronic illness is the balance between faith and reality.
That balance between the faith of knowing that God has the power to change this circumstance and the reality that these are things we face and God gave this child to us, in the great moments and in the not so great ones.
We live in the reality that our daughter may one day have a seizure and never wake up, that she could end up with brain damage, she could wake up and never be the same person again.
We live with the reality that every day is a blessing and we should count it as such.
The reality that she may never be able to have a baby (even though she says she doesn't want children).
The reality that she will most likely be that independent teenager screaming at us because by law she cannot get her drivers license if she has uncontrolled seizures.
Yet as a Christian I have faith that God can cure her.
Faith that He can take this burden away.
That there is hope that Sophia will never have another seizure again.
That the "growing pains" of cerebral palsy will not affect her.
That she will grow up, go away to college, get married, and have a family of her own.
The faith that tells us God can... and the reality that this is our life.
I am not mad at God.
I wonder why.
I scream and ask him to let her be free from this.
But I am faithful, humbly accepting this that this was always God's plan for my
Sophia, that she is His Sophia too.
That while this is my plan B, it was never God's, He made her, created her to do great things.
My reality is to be the momma to this sweet girl.
To guide her through this life.
To hold her on the hard days and rejoice with her on the good days.
My reality is to be a strong, faithful, Christian momma to this child who God trusted me with.
"And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
That balance between the faith of knowing that God has the power to change this circumstance and the reality that these are things we face and God gave this child to us, in the great moments and in the not so great ones.
We live in the reality that our daughter may one day have a seizure and never wake up, that she could end up with brain damage, she could wake up and never be the same person again.
We live with the reality that every day is a blessing and we should count it as such.
The reality that she may never be able to have a baby (even though she says she doesn't want children).
The reality that she will most likely be that independent teenager screaming at us because by law she cannot get her drivers license if she has uncontrolled seizures.
Yet as a Christian I have faith that God can cure her.
Faith that He can take this burden away.
That there is hope that Sophia will never have another seizure again.
That the "growing pains" of cerebral palsy will not affect her.
That she will grow up, go away to college, get married, and have a family of her own.
The faith that tells us God can... and the reality that this is our life.
I am not mad at God.
I wonder why.
I scream and ask him to let her be free from this.
But I am faithful, humbly accepting this that this was always God's plan for my
Sophia, that she is His Sophia too.
That while this is my plan B, it was never God's, He made her, created her to do great things.
My reality is to be the momma to this sweet girl.
To guide her through this life.
To hold her on the hard days and rejoice with her on the good days.
My reality is to be a strong, faithful, Christian momma to this child who God trusted me with.
"And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
Friday, June 24, 2011
John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
I was talking with my daughter today while I was making her bed.
She sat on the floor playing with her baby dolls.
She told me she was sad because she knew her Poppa was getting old and she didn't want him to die.
"Baby, no one lives for ever"
She started to talk and I knew just what she was going to say and I cut her off saying, "I know Jesus and God, yes, you are right."
"No, Mommy" she said, "we all live forever in Heaven because we believe, I just meant I don't want Poppa to grow old, die, and live in Heaven because then it will be a long time until I can see him again."
Thank you God for eternal life and reminding me of that today. -In Jesus Name- Amen.
I was talking with my daughter today while I was making her bed.
She sat on the floor playing with her baby dolls.
She told me she was sad because she knew her Poppa was getting old and she didn't want him to die.
"Baby, no one lives for ever"
She started to talk and I knew just what she was going to say and I cut her off saying, "I know Jesus and God, yes, you are right."
"No, Mommy" she said, "we all live forever in Heaven because we believe, I just meant I don't want Poppa to grow old, die, and live in Heaven because then it will be a long time until I can see him again."
Thank you God for eternal life and reminding me of that today. -In Jesus Name- Amen.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Me Disease
I try to wake up early and have this peaceful devotional time, sitting in the kitchen nook, drink my coffee, and reading my Bible.... well 99.9% of the time it just does NOT work out that way.
I usually end up reading my daily devotional when I take the kids swimming. A few weeks ago I was reading a devotional from one of my Women of Faith Bibles and I was reading a lesson about how we have to be conscious and aware of the 'Me Disease'. Instead of thinking about ourselves, our wants, our desires, we should seek to put others first. One of the simple suggestions I read was 'offer to watch a neighbor's child, even for an hour so they can get something done". Being a mother of young children, I thought... oh I'd love one of my neighbors to watch my children, even for an hour...
ME ME ME....
Not a moment later a neighbor and friend joined us at the pool with her young daughter. This neighbor has a 2 year old daughter and 6 month old twin daughters... 'offer to watch a neighbor's child'... I offered to watch her daughter for a few hours the following morning.
What a blessing to enjoy that sweet girl spending some time in our home.
Sophia loves helping with little ones and this little one is the perfect age, where Sophia can help her get a drink, snack, help her color, it was a wonderful morning.
We still left the mommy with two infants, I'm pretty sure she appreciated the 2 year old being entertained, even though it was a short time.
I was sharing this story with my friend and Sophia overheard me talking about the 'Me Disease'. Once I hung up the phone, Sophia burst into tears....
"I don't want the 'Me Disease' will I catch it??"
I explained to her what it meant and how it is important that we do things for other people, we should put others first, and God will smile.
The lawn man was working in the yard and Sophia squealed at the thought she had to make lunch for the "lawnmower man".
He has been cutting our grass for almost 3 years and we didn't even know his name.
That day, Sam enjoyed broccoli quiche, cookies, and juice for lunch.
So, teach your children about the 'Me Disease', warn them of the symptoms, and immunize them so they can fight this illness :)
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
-John 13:35
I usually end up reading my daily devotional when I take the kids swimming. A few weeks ago I was reading a devotional from one of my Women of Faith Bibles and I was reading a lesson about how we have to be conscious and aware of the 'Me Disease'. Instead of thinking about ourselves, our wants, our desires, we should seek to put others first. One of the simple suggestions I read was 'offer to watch a neighbor's child, even for an hour so they can get something done". Being a mother of young children, I thought... oh I'd love one of my neighbors to watch my children, even for an hour...
ME ME ME....
Not a moment later a neighbor and friend joined us at the pool with her young daughter. This neighbor has a 2 year old daughter and 6 month old twin daughters... 'offer to watch a neighbor's child'... I offered to watch her daughter for a few hours the following morning.
What a blessing to enjoy that sweet girl spending some time in our home.
Sophia loves helping with little ones and this little one is the perfect age, where Sophia can help her get a drink, snack, help her color, it was a wonderful morning.
We still left the mommy with two infants, I'm pretty sure she appreciated the 2 year old being entertained, even though it was a short time.
I was sharing this story with my friend and Sophia overheard me talking about the 'Me Disease'. Once I hung up the phone, Sophia burst into tears....
"I don't want the 'Me Disease' will I catch it??"
I explained to her what it meant and how it is important that we do things for other people, we should put others first, and God will smile.
The lawn man was working in the yard and Sophia squealed at the thought she had to make lunch for the "lawnmower man".
He has been cutting our grass for almost 3 years and we didn't even know his name.
That day, Sam enjoyed broccoli quiche, cookies, and juice for lunch.
So, teach your children about the 'Me Disease', warn them of the symptoms, and immunize them so they can fight this illness :)
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
-John 13:35
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