OK God! I get it.

AHH!!! I can't take anything else!!
I started working this week. Well, I finished my two days of orientation, my 1/2 day computer class, and I was home today... I start work tomorrow night. I am going to be working 7pm-7am, that's right 12 hours - all night... I actually picked that though because I want to be home with the kids during the day. Yes, I will sleep. I plan on sleeping in the morning and getting up when the kids are napping. Then I will have the afternoons to spend with them. I liked this, rather than being gone a 12 hour day. I am going to work 3 days a week, which is considered full time. For about the next 6 weeks I will be having to work weekends. The lady who is training me works Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So, this week because of my training hours I am going to work Friday and Sunday. Then next week I will work Friday, Saturday, Sunday... so on and so on...
I am excited. I enjoy being there. But when I am home I get sad because I want to be with them all the time. To top it off Sophia was congested and whining all night that her head hurt, then once I got her settled in Troy threw up. Tony helped me get him cleaned up, changed his bed sheets, then I got him settled and Sophia woke up crying with a fever. My hope is that Troy threw up because Tony fed him some key lime pie which has dairy in it and Troy is VERY allergic to dairy products, he throws up every time. With Sophia I am hoping that the fever will subside and she will just have a head cold- no seizures!! I am praying that it is no more than that. We have no health insurance until August 8th. I am counting down the days! We just lost coverage June 1 and I have been SOOOOO worried that the kids will get sick, that Sophi might have a seizure.. I am trying to think positive and I know God will take care of us that He is in control, He hits me where it hurts when He tests me with my children's health though. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control and I am not. Did I mention how hard that is when it comes to my babies and their health!?
I am really finding myself on my knees with this whole job thing and trusting that God is in control and no matter what I think - I never have been. Just another reminder when the kids are sick and I am going to my first full shift tomorrow night!! I know that Tony can handle it. He has done a great job with the kids this week. He really has stepped up. I'm proud of him. I still wish it was me taking care of them though. :)
Sophia says to me "when you are not here mommy God still is"
I guess I should take her advice. You know, I am the one who taught her this.. I need to take my own advice.
OK God- I get it.. now stop please! ;)