Recently Tony has been spending a lot more time at home because of the economy.He had an adjustment time but now he is quite helpful, thanks to my descriptive instruction on how everything should be done, he is finally getting the hang of it.
He bathes kids, helps with dinner, and has probably changed more diapers in the past month than in his whole life!
It is nice to have him around, but this does create the opportunity for more stresses than normal.
He has also been able to join the kids and I on some of our normal outings; grocery store trips, trips to the doctor's office, etc. As you other housewives know these are the trips that can put the angry before the word housewife.
Which recent outings have given the idea for today's blog; Daddies in Mommy Places, go ahead laugh! You know this is going to be good.
Have you ever noticed a Dad in the pediatrician's office?
The majority of the time they just look out of place. Our society, in many ways has created this image of the mother in the doctor's office, mothers in the grocery store, so when I say Daddies in Mommy places this is what I mean. If we as a society hadn't done this, my blog would probably not exist.
Back to the Dad in the office, there he sits, child on his lap, the diaper bag next to him, waiting for the nurse to call his name.
The nurse stands at the door, calls a child's name, no one answers. Now, the nurse knows it's the man holding the child that she called, but she knows that the father isn't listening because she called the child's name and not his name. She just grins.
(Dads aren't used to this, they are used to being called by their name. The name that their parents gave them. It is all they know. Maybe it's Mr. or Sir followed by their first, middle, or last name, but it is always their name!)
Mothers on the other hand, we answer to many names. Ever seen a mother in a public place? anytime a child says "mommy" three moms turn around to see if it is there child.
Moms answer to their name, the name given to them by their children, Miss, Mrs, Mam, even their kids names! If I hear someone say my child's name I answer.. so when the nurse stands there at the door calling the child a mom knows it mean grab the diaper ,and the kids, and follow the nurse. The father in the office, sits... he doesn't ignore the nurse because he is rude, he just doesn't even know that they are talking about HIM.
Then you see the nurse grin and say "Mr. - we are ready for you" like it's his appointment. Can't you just see it? your big strong grown man sitting up on the little table with the pediatrician saying "say ahhh", confirming my point...
women just have it all don't we!?
Back to Tony joining us on our daily outings.
Today was a very special trip, we had to go somewhere that I have NEVER seen a Dad.
Once Upon A Child, it is a great little resale shop. You can take your children's "gently" used toys, clothes, gear, furniture, anything, and sell it to them for cash and maybe do some shopping why you are in there. If you have ever been to one of these shops you know that sometimes they can be very busy and it can take a very long time.
So as mothers do, I fully prepared to be there before they opened so that I could be first in line to have my items bought.
I loaded the car the night before, my sale items, diapers, snacks, cups... and when the kids got up we left before 8am.
"M" decided that he wanted to join me, I warned him against it, but he insisted that he didn't have much going on in the morning and he'd like to come. So, there we went. The whole family off to the resale shop.
We got there about 40 minutes before opening time, just like I planned. Plenty of time to unload the car and be first in line. I pulled up front into the emergency fire lane (we mothers can do this, I was just parking to unload the car so that I didn't have to drag everything through the parking lot) Tony seemed stressed that I pulled up into the fire lane, popped open the truck and started unloading.
He got out to help me unload and said, "honey they don't open for 40 more minutes"
"I know, but this place will be swarming with Moms in about 20 minutes," I told him. "And I want to be first in line."
He just shook his head and helped me finish unloading.
When the car was unloaded he said, "what do we do now?"
"We wait," I told him reassuringly.
The kids were getting restless so I suggested we get out and let them run around on the sidewalk of the strip mall.
"M" did not see the value in allowing them to run around in front of the store fronts before they opened.
I think it stressed him.
It would stress me to sit in the car with restless children, and why waste a perfectly good empty sidewalk?
Once the store opened I was first! We went in and the lady said it would take about 40 minutes for them to go through the items and offer me a price. I agreed and took the kids to the play area in the store.
"M" observed what was going on and asked me, "what now?"
You know, I forget, that I just know how this works, he was totally confused. He looked completely out of his element. Similar, to how I might look in my shorts and flip flops with two kids on my hips, standing in one of his corporate financing meetings. I reassured him that it wouldn't take long and the kids would play and I was so excited to show him the store and all the great deals that were available.
He wasn't very interested. Instead I could hear the stress level rise in his voice when he said "why did we buy everything at Babies R Us for three times as much when we could have come here!!?"
I quickly let him know that I wasn't aware of such places until after the kids were born.
I don't think he was enjoying the experience as much as I expected him too, but he was a good sport and pretended to be interested in the fact that you could buy a baby swing for $65 instead of the $140 that we paid four years earlier.
Then tragedy in the baby store occurred.
Our son escaped the baby play area. While I felt my heart skip a beat I knew he was somewhere in the store. This isn't the first time he has escaped and ran off in a store. Of all of the places to run away, a store filled with caring, loving, mothers that is no bigger than the size of our kitchen, would be the place to get lost in.
"M" on the other hand had had enough.
While my heart skipped a mer beat, his heart jumped out of his chest. And in something mixed between a rage and a panic he yelled "Damn it, where the hell is he!?" Mothers gasped as they grabbed their hands over their innocent children's ears; starring at my husband like he escaped from the asylum. I just acted like I wasn't with him and calmly looked to the ground and started scanning the store for little black and red shoes. Tony dodged to the left, then the right, then took off running to find our son. You would have thought he was back in his high school football days, dodging the aisles, mothers, and children, to locate our boy. Like a lion after it's prey, the mothers and children around where like birds on the open field flocking into the air to escape the predator. HOW EMBARRASSING!!??
I heard a check out clerk giggle when she noticed a curly haired little boy touched her rear end when he walked by her pushing a push toy that he had his eye on behind the counter. I grabbed him up and yelled "I found him!"
But where is my husband? Still dodging aisles to get back to me. He picked up our son and said "I'm taking him to the car."
Probably a better idea, like I said, he didn't seem to enjoy the atmosphere as much as I did. Meanwhile, our daughter played quietly and watched Dora in the play area of the store. It didn't take much longer and I left with a check in hand! Awesome!
As I walked to the car I noticed my handsome husband, there he is, sitting in the car with his blue tooth in his ear talking, I realized how terribly out of place he was in that store. It is nice of him to spend time with us and he said he could see the value in the store but he was not interested in going there ever again.
I guess Daddies really don't belong in Mommy places.
It works out though, tomorrow I am going back and guess who has already offered to stay home with the kids!?
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