outward expression of an inward emotion

I read a book a while ago...

there was a brief section in this book that talked about sharing joy with your children. It said something about letting your children know you are thankful to be in their presence, sharing with them your joy, through your smile and other outward expressions...

I think it's so true that children need to know joy...

it got me thinking about how children, specifically young children learn about emotion.

Remember those charts with the smiley faces,
you look at the faces that show the emotion...

I have thought a lot lately about sharing emotion with my children- children understand outward expressions of inward emotions...

Last night I was trying to get the kids to bed,
It always seems like the last few moments during the evening are the most stressful ones.

I know I'm so close to getting them in bed,
I want to collapse onto the couch,
I'm exhausted.
There are about 100 things left to do,
I'm giving hugs and kisses,
someone asks for a sippy cup,
then another needs to go potty,
then a lost blankie needs recovered,
just as everyone is settled...
the dog leaves a 'gift' on the floor...
I look up and give out this distressing 'UGH!!!!'

Sophia pops up, "don't be mad at bedtime"
I wasn't upset with them, I was just tired, upset at the situation.

This isn't a blog about how I was wrong to be upset, I think that it is good for kids to understand emotion, for them to know that their parents have emotions too.

I explain to her that I'm just tired, that mommies have big jobs and just because she and her brother and tucked in to go to sleep doesn't mean that mommy gets to rest just yet...

I tell her I love her and I'm not mad at her...

I believe it is good for them to see a variety of emotions in their parents, not all frustration and not all joy, they need to understand that there are many emotions and many reasons for those emotions, instead of feeling ashamed that my daughter caught this not so proud moment when I huffed and puffed about cleaning up dog pee...

I decided to embrace it, I was annoyed, I was tired and this was an opportunity to explain that.

As their Momma I want them to know I love them, I want to show love, I hold them, I tell them I love them, I share with them the outward expression of an inward emotion...
To share joy, I let them see me smile, I dance around with them, I play...
To share peace, I sit quietly and rub their backs or snuggle them on the couch.

It's important that we know ways to share these inward emotions in ways they can understand...

Yet, frustration, sadness and disappointment are expressions I notice many mommas (including myself) trying to hide from our children, we don't want them to know we are tired... frustrated... sad.. or disappointed.. but why?

this is a very real part of life...

Some days aren't so joyful... some days aren't so peaceful...
Some days are stressful... some things make me angry... and when those days end I always feel guilty, like I shouldn't have let them know I wasn't happy...

You know what?

My kids have been witness to great joy, they know disappointment, they have experienced great love, they understand frustration and they know peace... and I'm glad for that.

I refuse to feel shamed for being real...

So instead of denying an outward expression of an inward emotion I will let them see me cry when something makes me sad, I'll let them hear me "ugh" over dog pee on the floor, I'll let them see my clean it up, and I'll let them see my smile when I kiss them goodnight and yes I'll even let them see me give that stinkin' dog a belly rub...