Healing In Pain

My grandmother passed away early Friday morning, about 2:30am from what I hear. I had gone to see her Thursday in the hospital. She looked small and fragile, but the same firey personality that she always had. I am so glad to remember her like that. Tomorrow me, my sister, and my mom will travel down to Boynton Beach for the funeral services. This will be the first funeral I have been to since my father's funeral 6 years ago -that still feels like nothing but a dream, it still doesn't feel real. In some ways I feel like, again, we are going to lay our father to rest.
The two of them were so much alike. I felt him when I was around her. She said she felt him when I was around... funny how it was like that.
My stepfather, Keith, is no less my dad. He raised us from the time I was right around 9. He has done a wonderful job loving me and I love him. He has shown true, deep love from one human to another. He has shown me how blood is thicker than water, and love is thicker than blood. <3 I love you Daddy.
But this is my father and his family. I loved him very much despite his faults and his addictions. He was a vibrant man with a childlike personality. Always the life of the party. He could make you laugh until you cried. I am a lot like him -I know it. :) He taught me to love and to hate. He taught be to be strong and to be weak. And in Grandma's death, she taught me to forgive.
With her death, it is like loosing him all over again.
It hurts but in the pain there is healing.