The Laundry Rant

I know it's not just me who feels that the laundry is never ending. You know why I'm not the only one who feels this way? Because it's not! It's always happening, somethings always dirty, something always needs folded, moved into the dryer, put away, or stain treated.
My husband, we will call him, "M", he told me, the other day when I was complaining about the laundry never ending, "Well, I help do the laundry sometimes."

I respond, "no you don't"

"Yes, I do. I did a load the other day." He says.

Now, I think back, racking my already over stuffed brain trying to think of when he did a load of laundry... I can't remember. Then a small glimpse of him putting a load of towels into the dryer so that he could wash his black work pants. If he counts that as doing a load of laundry I guess I may remember that.

Now let me add that the reason he was washing his black work pants is because they were hiding somewhere in the abyss of dirty laundry and I must have missed them. When he asked me if they were clean, I remember responding that if he couldn't find something else to wear he would have to wash them on his own. How is it that he can't remember when I need him to take our kids to school but he can remember one pair of black pants that just happen to be the only pair of black pants that I didn't wash, when he must have 10 pair of black work pants, clean and hanging in this closet.

Oh yes- so he did do a load.. if doing a load means tossing the clothes that are in the dryer onto the laundry room floor and putting towels over and loading his pants into the washer. Now, who do you think picked up, folded and put away the clothes that he tossed onto the floor? Who do you think folded and put away the towels? Who moved the pants over into he dryer so that they would be dry in the morning? Let's just make it clear that it wasn't "M".

Now, I love "M" very much. My high school sweet heart, but I must say I never knew he was so dumb. I mean really, how can you say you have "done" a load of laundry.

Laundry starts and finishes... their is a beginning middle and end. Men are very literal creatures, not much reading between the lines for them, it's black or white, not grey. So let me lay it out so that all the men in the world can understand.

Doing A Load Of Laundry Means: You go into all the bedrooms, bathrooms, and any other place that may house dirty laundry and sort out a full load. (I don't know who made medium and small load options on washing machines but I defiantly don't need it!) Then you must put the full load in the washer, add appropriate amount of soap and water. Turn it onto the necessary setting. When it stops spinning you must then return back to the laundry room and put the full load into the dryer. (Sometimes "M" will move one article over because he will need it and leave the rest in the washer he says the reason he does this is because if you dry one article at a time it will dry quicker -NO! and if for some reason you do this, you must go back and put the other items into the dryer when you are done with your one article drying experience.) Now, before you start drying the load you must empty the lint catcher add a dryer sheet, set the appropriate dryer settings, (not everything is cotton/high) then turn on dryer. Oh no boys, it's not over with that. When the dryer stops and everything is dry, sometimes you have to turn it on again, you must then get it out, fold, hang, and put everything in it's rightful spot.

If you add extras of the never ending laundry saga then you must also include folding, hanging, and putting away the items that are already in the dryer. Also, sort and start another awaiting load. Talk about never ending.

Now that is how you do a load of laundry.

I wonder if "M" would think that he has every "done" a load of laundry now? Aah... you know he would more than likely say yes. =)