another year

Today marks another year...
Another year that I haven't seen his face...
Heard his laughter...
Another year that I haven't heard him plucking at his guitar.
I miss him, the good that he had.

He was taken from this Earth before I was ready
There was so much left to say
So much left undone.
I needed more time.

I wish I could look back and remember only the good,
but there were dark moments,
hurt, anger, confusion...
He was sick and I didn't understand.

In his death was freedom for him,
he is free from himself,
from the demons that kept him away from us.
In a way he is more with us now than he was before,
And for those he left behind,
an opportunity for understanding and forgiveness
and freedom from the hurt.

Forgiveness offers comfort and allows the good memories to flood in,
providing comfort and peace.

I will never forget singing in the hotel lobby with you,
How you played the guitar while we danced around the house,
How much you loved to cook,
Always wanting the latest and greatest gadgets,
you would love the Wii and youtube,
you'd be so disappointed with Monday Night Football,
You would love Troy's curly hair and that he is left handed.
Sophia would love to dance while you played the guitar, she would remind you of me.

So, while another year has gone
it doesn't get easier,
I just get used to you not being here,
I miss you, I wish we had more time...
I treasure the good memories
and thank God for freedom for you and for me.

Rest in Peace Daddy.
12/29/1953-11/17/2002

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal.