New Years Eve

It is New Years Eve! I remember in the past I used to spend the night with my cousins Sherilyn and Ethan. Ethan and my sister Lana were too young to stay up but Sherilyn and I would stay awake and watch the ball drop. We would take construction paper and rip it up in tiny pieces and put it in a big tupperware bowl. At midnight we would go oustide the garage into the driveway and toss all the "confetti" into the air. It was so fun, such good memories. Tonight Tony and I are going to put the kids to bed, eat pizza, and play guitar hero. Tony's brother, Matthew and his wife, Anne Marie got it for us for Christmas and we haven't played it yet. I am excited to spend a quiet and fun evening with my husband.
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year, see you in 2009!

When you thought I wasn't looking...

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

some Christmas pictures to share...

Merry Christmas

Wanted to get on here and wish you all a Merry Christmas.
Things are sooo incredibly busy with the holidays and moving ten days before Christmas was insane :) We have had a great holiday season so far though. We went to a parade and celebrated Christmas with my family (my brothers and their kids)earlier in the month. Last weekend we went to my mom's for dinner, gingerbread houses, and then we took a drive down Christmas Tree Lane and saw lights, it was nice being together. Tonight we baked and prepared casseroles for tomorrows lunch. Sophia put out cookies and carrots for Santa and the reindeer. She was very excited. We spoke about Christmas and it being when we celebrate Jesus' birthday. I was talking to her about Mary and Joseph. She told me that baby Jesus was going to come tonight and play with Troy :)
Merry Christmas everyone :) and... remember the reason for the season :)

totally overwhelmed

I said the hiatus would continue... Tony always jokes with me, when I am stressed he says "why don't you blog about it?" OK- I'm blogging about it. Get ready people! After my post on Thursday... I got the stomach flu, it started Thursday evening. Troy had a horrible night Thursday, he was throwing up and crying for hours during the night. Friday, I felt better- I took Troy back to the doctor, he was still having breathing problems, he was throwing up, and crying ALL the time!! The doctor said the antibiotic wasn't working and he had developed an ear infection which was probably causing the vomiting. He seemed better Friday afternoon. He was in a great mood Friday evening. Tony called and said he was really sick, same stomach virus that Sophia and I had. The pediatrician said it was same virus just presenting itself different in Troy. Tony was at work and didn't get home until late, by the time he got home he had already thrown up and was ready to sleep. He felt better this morning, Thank God! OH- Friday night, Troy ate scrubbing bubbles!! I was cleaning the bathroom and had the scrubbing bubbles on the bathtub, he ran in and put it in his mouth, I grabbed it from him and when I did he bite down and the foam filled his mouth. I broke the tip of the scrubbing bubbles off in his mouth. I cleaned his mouth and called poison control.. he is fine. But what a scare! Now to today- Troy has been feeling like crap again! I don't know when he will start feeling better but I pray that he can kick this sickness. So all of our stuff is packed, we went and got the UHaul and Tony began loading it. I had a systematic order of how I wanted everything loaded that way the kids things were to the back of the truck, so that they would be easily accessible if we needed them. I feed the kids dinner and gave Troy his antibiotic. I was getting him ready for his bath and he was running around naked then it happened... diarrhea all over the carpet, the more poo the faster he ran... it was everywhere. To make matters worse all of the cleaning things and rags and towels were in boxes somewhere in the moving truck. I just pray that he doesn't throw up or have diarrhea tonight- his sheets are in the truck and my washing machine is in the truck... which Tony and his dad drove to the new house tonight- so my washing machine and extra towels, sheets, cleaning items, etc. are 40 minutes away!!! Luckily Tony's mom (they live next door, remember!?) offered that if I need anything I can call her... I hope I don't have too but she may be getting a call tonight so that I can borrow extra towels or sheets for Troy if he gets sick. I was feeling so overwhelmed tonight. I just want to get moved, everyone to get better, and get back to a sense of balance and order in our home! Well, I am going to try and get some rest...
THERE IS MY VENT :)
Please, know I am very excited to be moving, blessed that we have found a home, soo exhausted and hoping that Troy feels better and his little body heals from this yucky sickness.
Where is Sophia in all of this? She is holding on tight and enjoying the ride. I have been stressed and her excitment and activity level is exhausting sometimes but I better appreciate that child and embrace her more during this time of change. I guess I kinda' feel guilty for being frustrated at her. I have a lot to learn from that free spirit. :)

Christmas Wish

This is totally worth sharing. It will make you cry but it is really happy. What a beautiful Christmas Wish.

unannoucned hiatus...

Well, it was a short, unannounced, unplanned hiatus from blogging. Life has been overwhelmingly busy the last few weeks. I can't even remember where I left off, but throwing the update out there- we are moving in three days. We found a beautiful house(huge!) on one acre for half the cost of what we pay now, totally a God thing if you ask me. :) Tony was out of town for a week during my hiatus; during that time Sophia got a "tummy flu" so with Tony gone and a sick kiddie and Troy missing his favorite person in the world (daddy) that was a hectic week. Once Sophia got better and Tony made it home safe Troy decided he'd take his turn being sick, not the stomach flu, but he has a nasty cold and some HUGE tonsils :) He hasn't been eating well and his asthma is acting up worse than ever. Last night he threw up... I am hopeful that he doesn't have the stomach bug on top of whatever else he has. He has been taking LOTS of medicines and hardly eating a thing, so I'm hoping it was the meds that upset his stomach. I have felt "erpy" ever since but I think it's mental (I hate stomach bugs!) The Norovirus was going around the kids school last week, I am pretty sure that's what Sophia had. If you've never heard of it, it's just a stomach virus with a sudden onset, vomiting, diarrhea, and slight fever, that quickly goes away, it affects a large amount of people in an area- it's the sickness that you hear most times affecting cruise ships. 120+ students and teachers went home from her school with it the Friday before Thanksgiving, that's what I heard anyway ;)
Well, we have been packing like crazy. I told my mom "we are living out of a box" at least we aren't living in a box. :) My Internet classes are going good. I have slowed down a bit since we are preparing to move, trying to complete 3 classes per week instead of one a day. I only have 4 more tests left. WHOOT WHOOT! The decision to get a job is an emotional one, not getting a job, but putting the kids in daycare, not being with them all the time, you know that phrase about when your children aren't with you it's like a body part is missing? That's exactly what I'm feeling. Also, I worry about Sophia -what if the stress of change causing her to start having seizures again, she has done so good being off medication but she is also in a very controlled environment (regular naps, quiet time, good diet, etc) not that I don't think the daycare could offer the same things but!? mommy does it best right!? and Troy he is so young still, my little guy. I'd miss them soo much. Also, do you know how much childcare is for two kids!!?? After insurance and daycare, I'd make like $70 a week -I make almost that now babysitting twice a week. :) So, Tony and I decided that I was going to sit tight, take my classes, get moved into the new house, keep the kids in a routine, and if the perfect job came along take it! If the "perfect job" doesn't come, I'll be home as long as I can and then I'll have to go back to work. I think that's a great decision. :) Gives me some time to adjust and wrap my mind around going back to work, I'm very change resistant (that's where Sophia gets it) but I'll come around. Not to mention we are dealing with a lot of change anyway, moving to a new house.
IT is early here, 5:15am right now, I got up with Troy around 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep, we have to leave early to go sign the papers on the house this morning so might as well get up. Sophia keeps waking up saying she has a runny nose (she doesn't) but I help her get a tissue and blow her fake runny nose and she goes back to sleep. It is so windy here. I am going to have to turn on the news, maybe a cold front coming in. It was great yesterday 80 degrees, only in Florida can you wear shorts and flip flops in December :)
This weekend will probably be a busy one, I'll be around, reading but probably not writing much until later next week. Then, I'll be back, maybe sooner because boy to I have some funny stories to share with you guys! :) Happy Thursday!
Here are a few pictures from the Gaylord Palms ICE in Orlando. We went a couple weekends ago. It was amazing and freezing! They chill the rooms to 9 degrees, give you parkas (because who in FL has clothes for 9 degree weather!?), and hot chocolate on the other side. It was really fun, until they evacuated the building, I'll blog on that later though. :)

my farm kids

Still taking medical terminology... I am still trucking away at a chapter a day.

I have some cute kid stories to share, here is when I take time to write intentional memories...

Sunday Tony and I went shooting at my mom's farm. We took the kids with us but I forgot Troy's shoes. So, we stopped at Target on the way there and picked up a pair of cheap shoes for him to wear. I ran in while Tony drove around the parking lot. I found him a cute pair of knock off crocs that looked like Lightening McQueen from the Cars movie.. they were on clearance for $4, can't beat that. They were a little big but I figured they'd work and Troy loves Lightening McQueen so I knew he'd like them. I just didn't know how much. The shoes kept falling off of his feet while he walked in the clay around the barn. He would stop and pick up the shoes and try to put them back on. Eventually I gave up and let him walk and ruin a pair of socks. When we got home, I took the shoes and put them on his shelf with the rest of his shoes in his room. Last night after his bath he was running around his room wearing his diaper and he found the bright red car shoes. He chased after me saying "EEZZZZ" and hitting the shoes on his foot. I asked him, "Do you want to wear them?" He gave me the shoes and sat on the ground. I would put the shoes on him and he'd walk very slowly so that he could keep the shoes from falling off. He loves them. He looked so cute. His curly brown hair, pop belly, saggy diaper, and red shoes. What a sweetie he is.

Sophia and Troy got in a fight last night- a real fight. Rolling on the kitchen floor, screaming at each other, one on top of the other, they were fighting over an Elmo book that my aunt got Sophia for her birthday when she was 2. They were both wearing fleece pajamas, slipping and sliding around the floor. I came in the kitchen and grabbed them each in one hand and they slid apart, still screaming. I yelled "be quiet" and they both stopped, looked at me, and both started crying. I picked them up and carried them into the other room and sat them down, I was so shocked that they were fighting and I really didn't know what to do, I said "you figure it out" and I walked away to contemplate my next move. They were sitting on the floor in the dining room looking at my crying. I walked into the kitchen got the book, put it back in Sophia's room. I told Sophi "your book stays in your room"... I really still didn't know how to handle it so I turned around to figure out how to handle the situation. Then I looked, Sophia had crawled over to Troy and they were holding each other. Sophia was rubbing his head saying "I'm sorry Troy" and he was clinging to her saying "Titty, oh Titty". Not five seconds later they were up and playing again, loving each other. So sweet. I guess I don't always have to know what to do, they "figured it out"

Tonight Troy was climbing all over Sophia while she laid on the floor wrapped in a blanket, she says "I'm wrapped in a cuddle." She hugged Troy and said "I'm thanksgiving for you Troy" :)

I hope everyone has a good thanksgiving, I'm thanksgiving for you :)

God is Good

This week has flown by. I started taking medical terminology online so that I can get a J-O-B. It was a decision that I have gone around and around with. I really didn't want to have to put the kids in daycare. With the possiblity of us moving I didn't want to add more change by going back to work and then having to put the kiddies in daycare. Lots of prayers and some jobs presented themselves that I could work at night or some days, but it really wouldn't affect the kids schedule and they wouldn't have to go into fulltime daycare, which I thought was an answer to prayers. I applied for the job only to be turned down, I needed medical terminology. So- I checked into the classes and the hours and days would no way fit in with our everyday life. I prayed about it more and God opened another door and my good buddy Kelly showed me that I could take this class online. She had already started it, as she too is finding herself in a life changing time. I started it and have been trying to complete a chapter a week, thus the lack of attention on my blog this week. I gave tonight to tackle the loads of laundry that has been piling up in my room all week. I folded laundry for two and a half hours straight! It is all done though and I think most of our clothes are clean, folded, and put away.
Sophia still is doing great with no seizures. The nuerologist said that she thinks the medication that Sophia was on was aggrivating her seizure condition instead of helping it- I think she may be right. Her mood is so much more stable. She is still they typical three year old with tantrums and high emotions. But all of that is so much easier to understand. She is so happy and hasn't once had a depressed day like she used to say she didn't want to get out of bed, she would say she wanted to stay in her room... she hardly ever complains of her tummy hurting- unless it really does. :) She is doing really great. Praise God for that!
Troy is doing good. He has been sleeping so much better. This week he has slept until about 4:30 every morning, only to eat a bottle then he goes right back to sleep until around 7:30. He is such a sweet little guy. He is talking more. He started saying some new words this week "Muck" which is milk, "Bah Bah" for his bottle.. he calls Sophia "Titty" because he can't say Sissy.. now that's funny right!?
Well, I'm really tired. I hope everyone has a great weekend. :) I'll update more later.

what's going on with us

I should be sleeping.. Sophia is spending the night at her Mimi's house (my mom) and Troy is in bed. Tony however, is playing video games... would you believe that he is almost 30 and still playing video games!? Men really are big kids. Now, I must say, it's not a kids game, but I don't see many video games that I think are good for kids these days. Maybe the Leapfrog games but those aren't really "video games"... he is playing some war game. What a nerd, I'm almost embarrassed to type that... LOL

This has been a good week for us. Troy is recouping from his nasty sinus infection. He is such a sweet boy. The quick weather changes in Florida are hard on the kids immune systems. It went from 65 degrees to 85 degrees in two days, it has been warm here. I hear another cold front is moving in this week, meaning back in the 60's... I know to most of you that doesn't sound cold, but for us Florida kids, we are used to the 90's. I've never even seen snow, so anything under 65 is freezing in my book. :)

Some of you have asked about the new house... well, no it didn't work out. Tony put an offer and they wouldn't take it- Tony said he really didn't care for it anyway, so it was for the best. Then we decided to stay put until our house sells.. two weeks later they called to say they accepted our offer. Although it was hard to turn down, we figured it would be best to stay until the house we are living in sells. In the meantime, I have still been looking and it sure is a buyers market. I am just hoping this house sells because I have my eye on a beautiful house at a great price. We will see... I am praying for a buyer to come along and put an offer on this house. Things have stabilized in Tony's job, at least for a while, and he is feeling more secure. That feeling of urgency is gone and we are just watching and waiting. I know God will provide and we will be OK, where ever we are. I am just thankful that Tony has a job and we got the insurance thing situated, for now anyway... life really can change in an instant. I guess we are supposed to hold on, and enjoy the ride. :) For those of us control freaks... hold on and close your eyes I guess, you never know what twists and turns are next and your strapped in and can't get out and... well, that's just how I feel... but I am trying to hold on, and enjoy it. I really am. :)

Tomorrow is church and then I think for lunch, we are going to use the Outback Steakhouse gift card that's been sitting in Tony's wallet for too long now. Yummy!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. :)

three year old with an attitude

Yesterday morning she told me she couldn't go out of the bathroom without her make up on...




What do you do with a three year old with the attitude of thirty year old?
Love her, I guess, and lots of prayer!

Last week we were driving to Chick Fil A to meet my friend Megan and her daughter for dinner and so the kids could play. On the way there Sophia's shoe fell off. I told her I'd get it when we got to Chick Fil A. She was screaming, "My shoe! My shoe!" Breathe, I reminded myself. I told her to calm down and stop asking, I will get it when we get there.
She was quiet for a couple minutes then let it out- "MOMMY, IF YOU DON'T PULL THIS CAR OVER RIGHT NOW AND PUT MY SHOE ON ME I AM GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS CAR SPANK YOU AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHICKALAY!!"

Are you kidding me! I didn't know what to say. I just ignored her, probably wrong thing to do but I didn't think I could address her without laughing and I knew that wouldn't be good.

sick again...

Poor Troy. That baby can't catch a break. He has been to the doctor three times in two weeks. He isn't throwing up anymore, but now he has a nasty sinus infection. I think he handled the stomach thing better than this. He has been so miserable. He just laid around tonight, moaning, cooing... he is so sweet. He is sleeping now and I am hoping he can get some good rest now that he has some antibiotics in his system. His fever has been high since last night, 104... I am hoping the Motrin keeps it under control throughout the night. Well, I am exhausted he was up a lot last night and only took a 45 minute nap today. I folded a load of clothes and laid my head down on the pillow and immediately heard him start fussing. No rest for the weary...
Troy in the wagon fishing with Daddy in the spring.


Sophia is doing great! That child amazes me! I am so happy for her health and her joy. She was so happy to go to ballet class tonight. Tony took her and I stayed home with Troy. She came home, wired! She was so happy. Dancing around the house, we kept having to quiet her because Troy was sleeping. She is so much more active. She used to lay in bed in the mornings, fuss, not want to get up... now she jumps out of bed ready for the day to start! :) That's my girl!! :)
Sweet girl and her ribbons! ;)


Well, my boy has started fussing... hope you all are having a good week. :) LATERS-

From the Dog

I'm the dog. Tater Tot, is my name. I don't know why I got such a crazy name. My dad wanted to name me, "Honey" but NO- Mom insisted on Tater Tot, she says I ate frozen Tater Tots, but I don't recall. Well, I spend most of my days lounging around the house. Occasionally mom will take me on a car ride, but more times than not I am left at home. You know, there was a time in my life when Mom took me everywhere... then she had Sophia and Troy. Now, I'm lucky if I get more than a walk. Sophia is my friend, I enjoy laying in her bed, only if I've had a bath though. Troy chases me around and I don't really care for him that much. I mean, yes, I love him, but I try and avoid him most times. He thinks he is patting me softly but he is really hurting me. I know he likes me though. Whenever he sees me he runs towards me hollering. I usually trot the other direction and act like I didn't see him. I think he knows. Tonight I fell asleep on the couch with Dad, until mom woke him and put me in this crate. You know, there was also a time when I slept in their bed. No, I'm not bitter.
Well, enough about that.. I'm a lazy dog and I'm going to sleep.
Good night,
Tater Tot

I've got to know... what does your dog have to say?

Renaissance Faire

Today we went to the Renaissance Faire, I must admit, I was a bit skeptical... I have never been to one before. Tony's mom told me to expect to see a lot of boobs, they way she said it had me concerned... if you know me, you probably know I'm ok with cleavage... LOL, but I was concerned because I was hoping for a "family environment" as advertised. It turned out to be a great day though! Yes, lots of cleavage, but mostly in a tasteful 1500s kind of way. I wish I had cleavage like Queen Elizabeth though. ;) Ok, enough about the cleavage- and more about the faire..
It was a lot of fun. Sophia loved it, there was lots of horses to look at and princesses too -horses and princesses, her favorite! Troy was very entertained the majority of the time. He did get very mad on our walk at the docks when I wouldn't let him throw himself into the lake but other than that he did really good. Tony loved it, I think he wishes he was from this time period... that "heroic alpha male, I'm your knight in shining armor let me rescue you fair maiden" kind of stuff... haha! Anyway, there were a few strange looking characters but I kept an open mind and really ended up having fun. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Tony and I participated in archery and some other fun things. There was a comedian there named Johnny Phoenix, they called him the village idiot- he was very funny. We saw knights, jousting, and again lots of horses. There was lots of food, and you know we participated in that too. :) At the bottom is the link to see all the pictures and here are a few of my favorites-

Troy trying to fling himself into the lake. Don't worry I had a death grip on him, while maintaining my smile- that's multitasking.

Tony shot a bullseye

I didn't do too bad myself...

Sophia got to meet Queen Elizabeth, Sophi said, "thank you for talking to me Queen" :)Sweet girl.

Me and Tony <3


All the other pictures...
http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=11qp8sz4.70otperw&x=0&y=eoqhmv&localeid=en_US

Look What I got!!

Now, I know it's would appear to be just a button... but NO, it is an award saying I am a kreativ blogger! Ok, well, really thank you Shan for passing it on to me and other Kreativ bloggers. Part of the deal is that I...

The rules of the award:

1. List 6 things about yourself

2. Pass this award on to others

6 Things about Myself
1. I ate oatmeal for breakfast and I'm making an attempt to eat healthy, but the pumpkin pie on the counter is calling my name and I'm fighting the temptation to grab a fork and eat the rest of the pie right out of the pan, and I won't forget the Ready Whip!

2. Troy is awake in his crib and I am blogging... I should probably go get him, maybe I should have won the Addicted Blogger Award.

3. Tony calls Troy "Mommy Face", yes he looks like his daddy, but according to baby pictures his face looks just like a little Holly. No wonder everyone thinks he is so cute. :)

4. I love coffee, I'd drink it all day if it wouldn't keep me up all night, not to mention it's not good for you. But I love it!

5. I grew up on a farm, but sadly I was allergic to everything that lived on it. I love horses, cows, chickens, the whole thing! It was great growing up on a farm, I wish I could have enjoyed it more. I love that Sophia loves riding and has no sign of allergies.

6. I hate folding laundry and have six loads waiting to be folded and put away...

Pass This Award on To Others

What a world, randomness of a stay at home mommy
Kati, Copy the button and accept the award.

Angels, Bambi and Garbear, and Our Journey Home already received it or I'd send it to them too!

REMEMBER...

All of the hate that is being seen as a result of Barack Obama being elected president is very disturbing... I am not blogging my personal opinions but I felt it was important to remeber this-

TEN PREDICTIONS NO MATTER WHO WINS THE ELECTION:

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost.

Love you all have a happy week!
I'll update soon. Things have been busy around here...

At His feet, hold me

Some pictures from the pumpkin patch.


Another end to a busy week.... seems like our lives our so full right now. What a blessing it is to have so much to do. I often take it for granted but it really is a blessing to be so busy with my beautiful children. Sophia is doing great! I am so happy. She is happy, healthy, and doing great off of the medication. We are so hopeful that she will be able to stay off seizure medications. She has been seizure free as far as we can tell. We got home from the hospital Wednesday last week and Thursday Troy started vomiting. I thought he had a stomach bug... the vomiting continued and I took him to the doctor Monday. No fever, no diarrhea, in fact he was constipated. I thought maybe it was something he ate. The doctor said he was having reflux and a valve in his tummy wasn't working properly. They put him on Reglan, 30 minutes before every meal and before bedtime. It didn't help- he was still vomiting and now with white stools (TMI-I know but it was weird!). Called the doctor Tuesday night, the poor baby was vomiting and crying... they upped the dosage of the medicine and said to bring him in on Thursday. Wednesday he did better, no vomiting so the higher dosage of the medicine seemed to be working. Thursday we went to the doctor but he seemed fine, still with white poop though! If the white poop happens again we are going to have it tested. The Reglan is working and we are hoping that the valve just got irritated and it will correct itself. He is on the Reglan for two weeks and then if he is still having problems they will send him to a specialist, we are hoping that is just got irritated from a virus or something. It is very rare that a child will develop reflux at 12 months old so hopefully it's not a big deal. He kept us busy though! All that cleaning! I am glad the medicine is working. He also never got dehydrated so that was good- it could have been much worse. He is such a happy boy! I'm glad he's feeling better. He had us busy though.

Isn't it amazing how life changes in an instant. I was talking to my friend Kati about that this week. We go from so many unknowns to stability in an instant only to find something else is changing and another reason to adapt. In our personal lives, our families, our relationships, our finances, our government, our world... it is true the world doesn't stop spinning for anyone. Even when we need it to. Thank God for prayer... I don't think I could have made it the past few weeks without praying. Talking to the one constant in my life, God, the one thing that I know will never change, my God, His love.
Whenever prayer falls from my highest priority it always finds its way back to the top of my list. Not that I forget to pray, I am actually praying constantly throughout the day. I talk to God like he is in the room with me (in my mind of course, I wouldn't want people thinking I was a nut) but I think sometimes that takes the reverence of prayer (which is important). I am joining Bring the Rain in their seven prayers a day, if you don't know you should look- it's awesome! Also, I am making reverent prayer a part of my daily routine. I pray at night while I rock Troy and I love that time. I sing praises to God while I rock Sophia, and we both love that. But alone time in reverent prayer I am lacking.. and I love that too. So- think about prayer this week, it's importance, and it's place in your life.
Prayer is the closest we can be with our Holy Father. Like His child bent down at his feet.

It makes me think of Troy. Sick, tummy hurting, and standing at my feet with his arms reaching up to me. Wanting me to hold him, to take the pain from him, to make him feel better. He didn't have the words but I knew, as his mommy what he needed. And when I hold him, if just for a moment while he rests his head on me, he feels better. He can rest. I feel that when I pray. Like a little child reaching for my Father. For him to pick me up and let me rest on his chest, if just for an instant. He is never to busy for us. What a gracious, kind, Father we have to love us, unconditionally.... we really can learn by His loving example.
Thank you Father for being there to hold me, always. Like your little child you hold me.

Some Halloween Pictures for you...

HAPPY ELECTION DAY!

I hope everyone votes today!
And watch these awesome kids!!

Happy and Safe Trick or Treating <3

Happy to be Home

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers over the last few weeks and especially the last couple days. We are home and happy to be here! The tests went well... difficult at times but well. The neurologist came in this morning and let us know that they did see some abnormalities on the EEG and it did confirm what we already knew, that Sophia has epilepsy. The good news is that the doctor does not want to start her back on medication. They are going to do another test in 2 months to see if the seizure activity in the brain is any worse (there is still a small amount of medication in her system that could be helping it not to be so bad). Then another EEG four months after that. If she does good during this time and doesn't have any serious seizure episodes she should be able to remain medication free. We are still supposed to use Diastat for seizures over four minutes but anything other we are to document and let the doctor know. What a relief to have this over with.. it was worth it! Thank you for your kindness, thoughts, and prayers. We are so blessed to have such wondeful family and friends.
Love,
Tony, Holly, Sophia, and Troy

thinking in the quiet...

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wondeful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

Funny that this is one of Sophia's memory verses in Sunday school, I didn't realize all week but I have been reminding myself whatever the outcome it will be perfect and I have been repeating this scripture in my head all week.

Sophia says "I praise You, because You made me wonderful!"

Peace and Quiet

This is the quietest this hospital room has been since Monday when we arrived. I am glad I got woke up this morning by all the noise outside, it makes me appreciate the quiet much more. ;) Sophia slept good from about 8 until 10, when a nurse came in to check her vitals, I knew that this would wake her. Sure enough she woke scared and screaming. I can't wait to run my fingers in her hair and kiss her forehead. We aren't supposed to touch the "gauze hat" because the electrodes under it are all attached and I guess they could come loose. I didn't realize how often I comfort her by rubbing her head or playing with her hair until now. I did get her back to sleep by 1030 but she was so unhappy. It was really disturbing to see her hitting her head like she was. I know she was just fed up with all of this and I don't blame her, she is acting out like any three year old would. She will be glad to go home today. I hope we don't bring any germies home with us. The hallway here smells like Lysol. I told Sophia that I wouldn't wash my hair until she was able to wash hers... and I know my head is itchy!! I bet hers feels even worse with that gauze wrapped over her. They have kept this room very cold because they said the wrap gets hot and sweaty easily. Yes, I am fasting from washing my hair, gross huh!? I believe Auntie Rie isn't washing her hair either :) First thing I am going to do when we get home is jump in the shower with Sophia and wash our hair!

Back to the peacefulness of this morning though, it is like a busy airport here. Tony said it was like an ant farm with hundreds of busy ants. It's a shame because rarely do you get a smile or anyone acknowledges you- makes me all more aware to be kind to others. You never know what is going on in people's lives and you should never assume either. I remember when Sophia was little and she was first going through her MRIs, EEGs, and other tests for the first time. She was probably about 15 months old and I was sitting with her outside a restaurant. She was crying and feeling pretty bad, after sleep deprivation, fasting, and to top it off she had had the stomach flu... I was holding her as she cried and I got tears in my eyes and this girl walked up and said "oh come on it can't be that bad" -well, it can.

A simple smile and a wave means the world to a child. While we have been here it's the handful of people who made this stay a good one while the majority were cold and just plain rude. I wish that it was opposite and there was just a handful who were rude... but those few who were nice, there kindness shines and those are the thoughts we will take home with us. My sweet angel girl thanked God last night for "Miss Cole (Nicole), the lady who brung me toys, the one who brung me a sticker, the nurse with the fish shirt, and Rosa the food princess" -It really doesn't take much to make a child feel good. To the loud doctor whose booming voice echos down the hall at 2am, sick children are trying to sleep is it really necessary?

And here was the excitment for the day.. "'Giarafy' broke his head off" and the nurse with the fish on her shirt gave him a bandage until we can go home and sow him back together again. Yes, his head literally broke off. :)



Well, we are going home some time today. I think around noon. I should have the results from the tests when we leave and that will make all of this worth it. Thank God for the technology we have. Praying for great test results!

Long Day...

Poor baby girl. She is so exhausted and sick of all of this. I don't blame her. We have had the worst 3 hours ever. She was just feed up. Today was the hardest of the days, she was so tired. The doctor came in and with the good new about the test she also informed me to not let her sleep until tonight. She was tired from about 10am on. Tony and Troy came to visit today. Troy and Sophia were so happy to see one another. They are two peas in a pod. I was glad Tony brought him but it was rough having Troy in the hospital room with Sophia who was grumpy herself. I was so happy to see my boy though, and my wonderful husband too. :) The last three hours from 5 to 8 were horrible. She screamed, cried, hit herself in the head, she was soo miserable. The gauze I am sure gets hot and sticky under there by the third day. She cried for her daddy and it broke my heart. The nurse came in to check on her and she screamed "get away from me-". The sleep deprivation is a hard thing to see. She said her tummy hurts, her head hurt, she just ached all over I am sure from the lack of sleep. I started the bedtime routine early because I knew it would take her a long time to calm down, I am glad I did it that way because it was so rough on her. She is sleeping sound for now and I am going to get some rest in case last night repeats itself. I can handle anything for the test 12 hours. :)

Praise God!

The nuerologist just came in and said that the EEG up to this point has been totally normal!! Thank God! I haven't seen any episodes yet so they are going to try and induce one today, they said not to let her sleep until bedtime.. do they know what kind of a night we had last night, ugh! We will do it.. with hopes all goes well and we can leave her on no medication! :)

Fun evening, bad night...

It was an exhuasting night. She was right, she wasn't going to sleep in this hopsital. :) My dear friend Megan came to the hospital last night with her two children, Gracie and Colt (Sophia calls him Baby Hulk). Let me add the hospital is a solid two hours from her house and her children are under two, not an easy task- it meant the world to Sophia! She had been quite gloomy the last portion of the day. A phone call from her friend Anna from church cheered her up a bit but that smile quickly faded as the phone hung up... I was running out of ideas and feeling a bit gloomy myself but I knew Megan was coming. Megan walked in the door with Gracie, Colt, and Wendys! Yummy! It was nice to vist and let the girls play. Sophia told Megan "look at me", she knows she looks funny with that "gauze hat" on her head. She was so happy to have her friends here. It really helped the time go by.




Then at 8, shift change, we had a nice nurse named Jennifer, she was sweet when we saw her, we didn't see much of her, which is good I guess. After that we got ready for bed and the fun began. She really was NOT going to sleep here. Finally she doozed off around 10 and stayed asleep until about 1am, then woke up crying, fussying, saying she wanted to go to sleep in her bed, in her house, she said Troy missed her, Daddy would cry since she wasn't home, her head hurt.. on and on and on and on... I doozed off at 3am, she told me "you can go to sleep, I am NOT sleeping here"... I woke up at 6 and she was awake and about 10 minutes later she told me "I'm going to bed now"... She's been sleeping for about an hour. :) Poor baby.

One day down and two to go.... Daddy and Troy are coming today so that should make her happy. I sent him a text this morning and told him to bring my Nike shoes, my socks, and my toothbrush :)

Finally some rest...

I have to say that all there is to do here is be online, so if you find that I am blogging lots in the next two days that is why! We finally got some Mac N Cheese and the nurse even brought her some chocolate ice cream. She is doing her best to be happy. I am trying to catch the joyful moments on film. While they were wrapping her head you could see that she would try to fight back tears but she never did cry. I hate that she has to be brave, but proud that she is. I suggested a nap and she told me "I am not sleeping here" I told her we would be sleeping here for the next couple days, she didn't want anything to do with that saying "you can, but I am not staying here." That hard-headed child, I don't know where she gets it from!? Must be her dad. She ate, gave her toys a bath (Winnie the Pooh toys from her Aunt Jo Jo), watched a movie, was ooohhh so fussy, and then finally feel asleep. The monitor for the test, who is upstairs watching her on a video, called down and told me that she shakes her head to much and she was pulling the wires too much... ok, well, I bet if you had all that crap on your head you'd pull it too! :)
Have I mentioned that we have great family and friends- Mimi came over this morning before we left for the hospital to visit with her. Auntie Rie sent her some special princess socks to wear that say "little stinker" on the bottom and some awesome stickers that I am doing my best to save for tomorrow. Emily made her the sweetest gift bag of little wrapped gifts which we are opening one when she gets fussy and needs a distraction. Megan is bringing Gracie to visit and to eat tonight so that is something she can look forward too. Tony is calling often and doing an excellent job with Troy. I miss him but I know he is happy with his daddy- they are going to try and come tomorrow. It is so great to have such caring people around us. Phone calls, emails, prayers- it all means so much. Thanks.

We are here...

We are here, hungry and waiting for them to put her food order in... we can't order until they do that. My poor kid is hungry and uncomfortable... this hospital sucks! :) I hope we get some food quick! Silly me, I didn't pack food for her, not like there is a cafeteria down stairs! She doesn't want me to leave and go get her food and I sure don't feel comfortable doing that anyway... she doesn't even have a hospital ID braclet on yet!!?? SECURITY!! :) Have I mentioned that they started the test about 3 hours ago, they did the strobe light test and they did the air test, where she blows air over and over... she is tired and hungry, I hope they get us in the system soon. This sucks! Can you tell I am spoiled as far as hospitals go- our local hospital is one of the best! We aren't used to this one... Have I mentioned that the wall paper is literally peeling off the walls in this room! OK, I promise my next post will be much more positive and uplifting...

My wild ones...

I love them! My children bring me such joy! I hope that as a child of God I can bring my Holy Father such joy. <3

Sophia told me today, "God's like a daddy, but He's not, but He is!"

I am definatly feeling some axiety about this hospital visit. I hadn't told Sophia, I didn't want her worrying about it. She does ok at the doctor but recently has developed some hesitation about it, rightfully so, but it is heartbreaking to hear her cry in the car on the way to an appointment. So, I explained to her that we were going to go on a "girls only" trip to the hospital just me and her. I told her that is was special and we would spend three days doing girly things like painting our nails and dressing up and eatting good hospital food :) ok I exhaugerated a bit but you would too. She seemed ok with it. She asked me why we were going to the hospital. I told her for some tests. I told her they were going to put the "princess crown" on her head again, she wasn't so happy about that. She asked if she had to sleep there, I told her yes, but that I would stay there too. She said that Troy would miss her. I told her Tony was going to bring him to see us. It was an exhuasting conversation that went on and on. To conclude, I think she was pretty comfortable with our plan for the hosptial stay. I just pray that the people working will do their best to make her feel comfortable. It's hard when you are putting your child in an environment and you don't know how the people caring for them will act. When I called the hosptial with some questions, the lady seemed annoyed and very busy, which I understand but how can I tell my daughter what to expect when I don't even know. I know God will be watching over her. When she has seizures I pray the same prayer everytime and I pray it again tonight and I am sure it will repeat itself many times this week.
"God send your angels to wrap their wings around her and bring her peace."
I know He will...

A long week.

Figured I'd add some pictures from Troy's birthday.. the cake...

I am pretty proud that with everything going on in our lives I am able to keep my children happy and healthy and Innocent in all of this. We have really had a lot on our plates. Tony's job is very dependent on the stock market and the economy. We are moving from our house into a smaller home so that we can better manage things and if Tony wants to do a job change it will make things much easier. Last week there was a scare with our health insurance and we got news that as of Oct. 31st we were losing coverage. It was so upsetting, especially having Sophia going into the hospital and off seizure medication. It was a scramble to figure out what we were going to do. I am sure some of you realize how hard it is to find coverage when you have 'preexisting conditions' like epilepsy. I went to a job interview, made plans to put the kids in daycare, it was so hard to imagine and happening all to fast. I figured if I got a job I could get health coverage for us. The cost of daycare is unheard of for two small children! How a single mother does it I don't know!? I didn't get the job, I need to take a few classes in medical terminology and then I can apply again, which I might do after we move. But- that didn't help our health insurance issues. I prayed for an answer... Sophia needed to be seen by a neurologist when we get out of the hospital to find out the results and see if she needs to go back on medication and what kind, etc. but with no coverage that would be bad... God provides! Tony called me that afternoon, he got coverage! The same coverage we had, no changing doctors, even better is will cost him $200 less a month and if he loses his job he can keep the coverage! We were over joyed to say the least! Then our house, we are house hunting.. and I found one! It is a lot smaller than where we live now but that's ok it's much more reasonable and affordable, especially if Tony does a job change. Things are so crazy right now. We are going to look at the house today at 2, Tony hasn't seen it yet, but I am sure he will like it. :) Then it's just financing.. which I hear can be tricky with the credit freeze and the morgage crisis, what is meant to be will be. It will be ok. I keep telling myself that. There is so much to be thankful for right now in the midst of all the changes. Sophia is off all medication and doing great! She is happy, alert, just perfect! I hope the EEG goes well next week and she doesn't have to go back on medication. OH- also, she ran a fever this week.. and did NOT have a seizure!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it!! God took care of that baby, I don't remember the last time she ran a fever and didn't have a seizure! It was a miracle! She did have a night terror, I think from the high fever, but I can handle that compared to a seizure anytime. Well, I am off to get ready to see the house and then to the fall festival to take the kids trick or treating on Main Street. Tomorrow we are going to our church's fall festival, then it's packing for the hospital. We have to be there at 1030. I am hoping they have WIFI and you know I'll be in touch and defiantly letting you guys know how things are going over there! :)

My boy's day.

Today was Troy's day. It was a wonderful day. You know how I feel about birthdays... it was a beautiful day to celebrate our son's life and the joy he has brought our lives. We had the party at a local park and it was perfect. Family and some friends were there to play, eat, and be together. It was a great day. Tony and I have a lot going on right now, a lot going on at his job, the economy, a lot going on with Sophia, lots of praying- but my prayers last night were answered and I was able to focus on the joy of my son's first birthday and not worry about anything else. I commited one day to not stress about the things going on in our life right now... it was wonderful. It really was perfect.