new

A new year is coming, I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, but I do like to look back and contemplate the year that we are leaving and excite in the year ahead.

I always pray that I am better than before, growing as a Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, stranger

I believe we should never stop growing, learning and exploring.

Looking forward I can feel Him leading us, as a family, we have answered His call and He is leading... and we are growing...

As I think about taking His path, I think back, back when we weren't following.

I don't like to look back on that time...

But then I recall why it is important to look back, so we can learn from what was and rejoice in what is...



I look back to remember what was, knowing where I have been, acknowledging the change and accepting the blessing.

We were so young, so bright, everything going our way...

our way, not His way, but He wasn't going to let us know just yet.

He was subtle, little pushes every now and then, He was calling we just weren't listening.

Life was "perfect", we bought our dream house, had a little girl and big plans to fill our home with lots of children, love and laughter.

Things were going great, we were busy making a family and creating memories... everything we thought we were supposed to do.



Our families were happy for us, proud even. Our friends loved spending time with us.

We went on vacations, hosted parties, went to extravagant dinners, we helped those less fortunate but never gave until it hurt.

It happened so quickly... so quickly that it hurt.

It was like the chaos after the earthquake, when everyone scrambles around trying to do what they think they need to do to survive.

There was very little keeping up with appearances, quickly it was over, every thing gone.

We moved three times in four months, we sold most everything we had to keep food on the table, keep the electric on and pay medical bills, there were days I wondered why God would do this, didn't He care about us?

That's the blessing in looking back...

He was calling, He was calling over and over again asking us nicely to answer, when we wouldn't He came banging on our door, He wanted us to grow, the growing pains hurt but eventually we would answer His calls.

We never went without, we always had food, when we lost all transportation we were blessed with a white van that has not failed us yet, minus a few hiccups. He was carrying us, meeting every need, yet at that point in our lives, we had to re-learn what needs were.

Our needs for shelter, food, family, healthcare, God... we never went without. It hurt sometimes but we never went without.

I never look back wishing we would have done things differently because everything we did helped us get to where we are now.

He leads, and though I sometimes fall, I fall at the feet of my Father, who picks me up lets me try again. He is always good, ever present, He wants good for me and good for me is to answer Him, follow Him, let Him lead.

When I was ready to walk away from everything I knew, He was there, providing us with mentors, no doubt these people were heaven sent from Him to bless us.

When we tired on our own, but couldn't afford medicine for our little one, He provided it for us, the pharmacist with a white mustache and a heart the size of Texas, I will never forget the blessing.

When we needed a stable place to stay, He provided, and humbled us at the same time, when our neighbor's rental house came available.

Time and time again He provided and He still does. Only now, our eyes are on Him and the evidence is clear, before it seemed by chance. Now we grow in Him...

And when we were ready for Him, He was there, with a place that was perfect for us and church family for us to grow with.

As time has gone by I realize how far I walked from the Father. I thought I was doing everything right.

I was a faithful wife, raising a beautiful baby girl, living in my dream home, opening my doors to guests, supporting charities and giving to those less fortunate, I wasn't a bad person I was just no different than the rest of them and He wants us to be different, as we grow we are supposed to be different.

It is shameful to remember that person, the one who ran when the problems got to big, the one who had to loose it all to learn what was really important... but so thankful that He is forgiving, merciful and no matter how rotten we are His love is constant and He does watch out for His children.

I never want to be content again, always growing in Him.

I don't share this because you must go through some life shattering event to find Him, it's just that as this year comes to close and we are picking up the pieces putting together a new life. I am just so thankful that He choose to break it all, to break me, so that I could find Him. He truly does want us to bring the brokenness to Him and He really does make it whole and good again. I would go through the growing pains again to be here today.

A new year, a new home, a new start... and this little house, in this little town, is far greater than the "dream house" we left behind three years ago.



Because this home was prayed for and unlike our "dream home" this was not by our will but His. This was for a reason, this is where we are supposed to be, this is where we are supposed to be to grow...

Tony said it best, "I feel God lead us here." Never before in our lives have we felt lead the way we are being lead now and it is because we are growing, ever growing in Him. And when we let go of our own desires and submit to Him great things can happen.

I can't wait to see what He has done this time next year.

most amazing book ever...

I read this book in about two days and I am certain my life will never be the same.

I just finished the last page all of five minutes ago and I'll I can say is.. amazing!

desires vs expectations

A desire is defined; a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment, an expressed wish; request.

An expectation is defined; the act or state of looking forward or anticipating, something expected; a thing looked forward to.

I hear them say the holiday wasn't what they expected, some say it was more... some say it was far less... some look back with thanksgiving... others look back with ill thoughts.

I thought about their expectations, some expected a holiday with family all around, yummy food, handmade ornaments, everyone beautifully dressed, lots of presents, photo worthy moments captured in perfect lighting, a morning at church worshiping the King of Kings, smiling facing, laughter and joy, togetherness and peace.

I learned a few years back how expectations can make us feel, how our expectations and the build up to receiving can often create a feeling of loss, or breaking even. When your expectations are met, that's just it, they are met, nothing more but breaking even to what you thought you should have received in the first place.

I have always tired to not let my desires become expectations, to be joyful in all circumstances, humble in the celebration, taking it all in and being peaceful in what is.

When we desire something we long for it, we imagine it but we don't expect it. We do not feel that it is something we deserve.

If my desire to have my children neatly dressed and on their best behavior during Christmas morning church service was an expectation I must say when Troy smeared his sausage and egg quiche all over his red Christmas vest and wiggled in my arms all church service it may very well have begun the destruction of my Christmas expectations...

If my desire to have a clean house that smelled like apple cinnamon candles when family arrived was an expectation; I would have been pretty downcast when wrapping paper, plastic clasps from new toys being unwrapped and the dog battling a tummy problem covered my living room floor and there was no time to look for the striker to light the candles.

When the dog pooped on the floor, my husband feel asleep on the couch, Troy's shirt had a stain on it, the weather was too warm for our long sleeved Christmas shirts and the kids pulled out more and more toys in the excitement of sharing their new things with family I caught myself letting my desires become expectations...

feeling annoyed that my husband was snoring and not helping me prepare, feeling upset that I couldn't make everything look perfect before family would arrive...

deep breath...

don't let the desires for this day become expectations...

Family is coming over... who cares if the muffin pan is dirty in the sink, the counters are cluttered with sugar, measuring cups and stirring spoons.

The kids are darling, happy and excited about the day... that was my desire... not that they can't wear their Christmas shirts... but that joyful noises are filling my home.

My husband, my snoring husband, worked all day Christmas Eve, woke up early to open presents with his children and insisted we all go to church Christmas day, he will be back to work early Monday morning to provide for us... my desire was to have him help me... and help he does, did and will do... so let him nap before family and friends arrive.

And my desire was to be together, and together we were...

I snuggle next to my man on the couch, let the kids play, scattering toys all over the living room floor so that no one could walk through the house, without stepping over a toy soldier, jar of playdoh, little stuffed dog or remote control car.

Because I didn't let my desires become expectations I found my desires fulfilled, my every wish for this Christmas Day... I didn't break even... I am blessed.

Dear one, don't let your desires become expectations, do not measure the day by expectations met, treasure each moment, the good and the bad... and watch your desires become reality.

Merry Christmas from the Martinez Family

Wonderful day spent with my family.



We were awoken bright an early by a little blonde headed girl with excitement in her eyes, anticipation of opening her presents and before the presents she says, "Happy Birthday Jesus, I can't wait to go to church but right now it is time... PRESENTS!"



The kids were beaming and their proud Poppa sat on the couch and watch them open their presents, I could tell he was soaking it all in. Enjoying watching them, soaking in their joy... and trying to wake up.



We had breakfast together and got ready for church.



The kids were excited to wear special clothes to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

New shoes, new dress, new pants, new vest, new tie, new stockings... the boys cut their hair the girls curled their locks... we all wanted to look our best to celebrate this special day.



Service was amazing, a sermon about gifts, the gifts we bring to God, to Jesus on a day that is for Him. Lives were touched, broken lives were laid at the feet of our Lord and hearts were given to Him and made whole. Tear filled eyes spoke of salvation and what Christmas is all about.



Family came to celebrate in the afternoon, the kids played and we ate more than we should.



It was a wonderful day. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!

thankful heart is a happy heart...

It is so easy for me to fall into the 'holiday blues' this time of year.

I don't know why it is, seems like since the death of my father in 2002 the holiday season just doesn't feel the same.

I catch myself every year, the same feeling...

We were all pretty sick the last few weeks and since it was all I could do some days just to sit on the couch and watch movies with my sick kids it felt easier than ever to let Satan invade my mind with sad and lonely thoughts.

I always go along with the motions of the holiday season, but this year more than ever between sickness, stresses of moving and just the general yuck in this dark world it was easier than ever to fall into that slump.

I heard my sweet boy the other day singing along with his Veggie Tales CD, "a thankful heart is a happy heart, I'm glad for what I have that's an easy place to start"

The weather may not be cool, my family may be out of town, I may be feeling overwhelmed facing a move just a few weeks after Christmas, the budget may be tight but... I can walk barefoot in the grass, feel the sunshine on my face, call my family on the phone, know they are all well and safe, rejoice in the blessings of starting over in our new home, find contentment in knowing that Christmas is not about how much or what is under the tree, rather the gift that is Jesus Christ.

Instead of focusing on the things that aren't "right" about this Christmas season I choose to focus on the reason we celebrate, the birth of our Lord. The gift of Jesus, salvation and light. Choose to focus on my husband, children, all that is good in my life.

As my focus changed... my mood changed... a thankful heart is a happy heart... and if you don't know where to start think Veggie... be glad for what you have that's an easy place to start.


Thank you God for sending messages once again through my little monsters, when I say they are a blessing I truly mean just that. :)

made with love

I am a sucker for all things homemade and upcycled... anything made with love...

tis the season for all things homemade!!

In the spirit of gift giving I think the extra thought, time and effort to create something special for loved ones is the icing on the cake.

Pinterest, the evil temptress that she is, has my crafting corner on overload this holiday season.

I saw something similar and figured this would be the perfect gift for one VIP this Christmas.



Oh and because I know this VIP is just like me and will put this dry erase board up and never use it because the marker will continually disappear I decided to attach a felt pocket on the back of the frame, perfect spot to keep the marker.

double teamed...

All day long I feel double teamed...

Both hungry at the same time,

one protests something, the other chimes right in...

I have two hands and they are full 100% of the day with two wild monsters.

While I feel double teamed from 7am to 7pm, when Daddy walks through the door my partner in crime fighting is here.

We are like Batman and Robyn

I have my right hand man

My extra hands to get through the night.

I love that I can depend on him, count on him...

Tony is not the kind of Daddy who comes home and disappears into his room.

I cannot imagine doing this alone.

So many mommies do it alone and I'm so thankful for the one who comes in and evens the playing field every night at 7 o'clock.

Love you Tony!!

4am post...

Sophia has never been a good sleeper.

When she was an infant we had epic sleep battles.

With her super strong will and her ability to function on 4-6 hours of sleep a night it's a wonder I got any rest when she was a baby.

I thought I had a pretty good grip on it around age 4, she was no were near sleeping through the night but she had learned that until the sun comes up we stay in our beds. With all of her health issues I totally understand that it may be hard for her to get to sleep, she may sleep intermittently throughout the night and any of you with children who have special needs you teach them to adapt to the most normal routine as possible and for us staying in bed till you see the sun is the best option. She used to read books quietly with a flash light, play with her toys in her bed, whatever, but she was quiet and respectful of the rest of us.

I have always found for whatever reason with my children, both of them, the bedtime power struggle is the area where the lines are drawn. If I let them stay up later than normal or allow them to get up after being put to bed something clicks in their little brains and they think they have the upper hand, they have won and the next day they think they are the one in control. I learned very early with these two that it is 100% a test of wills. Troy is pretty typical, bathroom, drink, the never ending prayer, I gotta poop, etc. Sophia takes it to a whole new level. I think special needs kids have this whole level of strong will that most people can't even imagine. A few nights ago she told me she needed to go to the hospital at 2am, she'd rather go to the hospital than sleep in her bed...

Recently Sophia has been switched to a number of different medications for her seizures, we are trying to find the best one for her... in the process I got pretty relaxed about her sleeping, she was having trouble sleeping, complaining of tummy aches and nervousness... the medicines can cause insomnia, stomach pains and anxiety... she didn't know that but I did and until we figured out which medicines were right for her I just felt more comfortable keeping a close eye, so I let her sleep in our room, I slept with her... there was no routine or power struggle whatever so ever, her need or want was she got it.

Fast forward 6 weeks later, we are switching medicines yet again, back to the original prescription that had worked well until she had a few breakthrough seizures. I'd rather have a breakthrough seizure every once and a while than deal with the side effects of these other drugs.

Well, the whole tummy ache thing has become a great excuse to get out of bed at this point. I can tell, for the most part, when my kids are faking it, every momma can, it's just that instinct. I'm always careful with Sophia because I know the medicines can cause some crazy side effects and I don't want push her too hard if it might be a real issue but tonight I knew 100% that she was not really sick, she'll make herself sick, gagging and all but she wasn't really sick.

So, at 1:30am I decided tonight was going to be a test of wills. Tony went to bed on standby knowing that he very well might be woke up for second shift if this power struggle went into the morning hours. Well, it's 4:12am and Tony has about 18 minutes before I'm going to sleep for a few hours and he'll be on bedtime patrol, before he'll have to get ready for work. For the last three and a half hours she gets up and I walk her back to bed and leave the room, over and over and over again. It's real insanity over here but eventually it will work. We may be up all night tonight but tomorrow night she will remember...

Some might ask why don't I just let her sleep with me? Why don't I just let down with her? Why don't I just spank her and make her stay in her bed?

Well, the same answer I give to anyone who asks me why I do things the way I do...

You aren't Sophi's mom. You don't know her needs like I do, you don't know her like I do. I do what I do because I am Sophi's mom.

I don't believe there is one way to parent. I have two children and I have two parenting styles that meet their specific needs.

I don't want her staying in bed because she is afraid she will be spanked. I don't want her thinking she can pull momma along like a bull with a ring in it's nose. I want her to stay up all night long if that's what it takes because tomorrow night she will remember I didn't get my way, it's not worth the fight again, I'll go pee and then get back to sleep or at least lay there till the sun is up. If not tomorrow night maybe the next night, but she will learn. It needs reinforced after 6 weeks of a free for all but she will figure it out.

I decided to pull out my computer and blog this because I was laying on the couch in the dark thinking about the good mother... the good mother doesn't take the easy way out. She digs her heels in and does what is best for her child even when it is the hard thing to do.

All good mothers can look back and say oh yes, I missed out on going here because they lost that privileged or I spent the afternoon being pestered because they were naughty and weren't allowed to go outside or lost tv time... when my good mother used to tell me 'this is harder on me than it is on you' I never understood...
Well, now I get it.
I totally understand.
I am so thankful for my good mother who taught me that what is right is not always easy.

Christmas Gift Idea

Every year my nephew is the one person on my list I just can't figure out. He is a teenager now and every year I am just at a loss as to what to get him.

I really hate giving money and gift cards to people for Christmas.

It seems so... impersonal... maybe? I dunno? I like receiving money and gift cards though, so it's not that it's a bad gift, just sometimes I guess it can seem like an afterthought.

But when a catchy poem and the right packaging...


The poem reads:
Ginger Bread Men with Yummy Icing,
are oh so good and extremely enticing.
I set out to make you a dozen or two,
but time ran out, so now what to do?
So instead of the cookies, I tied with a bow
your own personal serving of holiday dough.



So, what 15 year old boy wouldn't love a box of dough for Christmas??

I'm sure my nephew up in Tennessee will be thrilled to open this one.

And I have no guilt about sending him something that is tossed together last minute, as quickly as he will pull every dollar out of those bows, it probably took me five times longer to tie them. In fact, I bet that guy will have them spent quicker than it took me to tie them.

the good mothers...

and I hear her say, "I just want this time to pass by quickly"

I've said it before... no one said it was going to be easy but no one told me it would be so difficult. It's not all snuggles and bedtime stories. Sometimes it's screaming, loud screaming, at 4am... screaming that might wake the neighbors. Sometimes it's cheerios smashed into the carpet, sticky hands on clean windows... but hold onto it because you are right, it passes quickly, and when this time is over you will wish they were little again.

and I hear her say, "I watched her graduate from college today and all I could remember was bringing her home from the hospital"

I remember bringing mine home too. It wasn't all that long ago, but listening to this I realize it is a moment a mother cherishes, a story she never forgets. I remember holding them for the first time. I remember kissing their bald heads. Thinking they were the most perfect beings on this earth. Your job isn't over momma, she is a woman, but you are still her momma, our job is never over. Just as you remember that day, she remembers you, your smell, your voice, your hair, your touch.

Being a mother, being a good mother is no easy task.

It requires sacrifice, sacrifice of sleep, some days sacrifice of showering. It means you live for them, from tending their boo-boos to mending their broken hearts. Each stage in life is a new sacrifice and for the good mothers it goes by too quickly. It may not always be easy, beautiful or joyous, but these are the moments that make us, good mothers.

Too quickly come the moments...

from hearing their heartbeat, she prays all is healthy

their first steps, she is so excited watching them learn

the last time they let you rock them to sleep, just a kiss on the forehead will do

the day they tell you they don't need you to tuck them in... oh sweet one, you may not need me too, but I need me too

their first haircut, I cried as every curl hit the ground

the last time they need you to drive them to the store, she quietly went out and prayed over the steering wheel of his truck

the steps across the stage at graduation, she remembered the day bringing that baby in the pink blanket home from the hospital

It never ends, she watches them grow, loves them, keeps them, she is their safe place- always their mother, their good mother.

preparing for the move...

We are in the waiting period with the house. Waiting for the title company to finish all of their paperwork so we can close. It should be within the next week or so. Then we can start renovations and hopefully move in days after Christmas, hopefully... it will be a stretch because we have to be out of this house by December 31st.
So, while we wait I have been preparing for the move...
not by packing boxes or anything like that... but...
sharing a bathroom with the kids, not using the dishwasher and reorganizing things to take up much less space...
sounds crazy huh?

Well, the house does have two bathrooms but for now the master bathroom is a 1/2 bath, which means we will be sharing a bathroom with the kids. I wanted to prepare for this by moving my things and "practicing" sharing a shower with the kids. Crazy I know but I wanted to be prepared. I have to get used to cleaning out the bathtub of boats and barbies before I shower. Not to hard... check that off my list glad I'll be prepared.

Not using the dishwasher, in the new house I decided I would rather have an extra cabinet than a dishwasher. There is no pantry and the cabinet space is very limited anyway so I decided I could go without the dishwasher and keep the extra cabinet, yes it meant that much to me. So I decided to give it a go... no more dishwasher. Not hard actually I think I keep up with the dishes a lot better because I'm not waiting for a dishwasher load before doing the dishes. And check it off the list... totally prepared for that.

Reorganizing things to take up less space, this is very important because space is limited in the new house. I have never appreciated under-bed-storage containers like I do now. We donated a lot of toys this year for the Christmas toy drive at our church and the things we decided to keep I'd say everything has a place. Pretty exciting to know we are going to be able to make it all fit. Check!

In all of this preparation I realize just how silly it is to think we "need" so much. Yes a dishwasher and extra bathroom make things more convenient, but really not a "need"... it's been fun practicing and realizing what we don't need :)

Tony laughs at me every time I truck into the kids bathroom to take a shower but you know when he steps on a toy soldier when he gets into the shower at the new house, I will be prepared.

Enough about that... I'm completely exhausted... Good Night!

now that's an update....

I've been mentioning the big changes heading our way but I haven't really written about what those changes are...

I'll start with the most important...

This is a faith issue... Tony made the decision to commit his life to Christ and he has really stepped it up as the spiritual leader of our family. It is something I've prayed for many years. Something I'm so thankful for. It is a very real thing that the man is called by God to be the spiritual leader of his family. I will say from experience there is only so much a mother and wife can do without a God fearing husband- it is so nice to have a partner. But whoa baby... there is no holding us back now that we are both going in the same direction! A very wise couple shared with Tony and I once that a man and a woman are on the two bottom corners of a triangle, God is the point at the top, as they grow closer to God they follow the lines of the triangle and are pulled closer and closer together. This has never felt more real to me. Tony says for the first time in his life he feels like he is being lead, things aren't happening by chance and we are so excited to see what God is going to do next in our lives.

Second issue is a house one... some of you know that Tony and I went through a very difficult financial time when he lost his job of 12 years back in 2008. We lived in our "dream house" and lived very comfortably. After moving numerous times in 2008 and 2009 we ended up here. In a smaller rental house. The landlords have been great to us and we have enjoyed the home but it is time we begin to rebuild. We are in the process of purchasing a home. Tony and I would lay awake at night talking about how we would rebuild, we would have nice cars again, I dreamed about a double oven, he dreamed of having an office again... well, fast forward almost four years later and ask me if any of that is important?
We are buying an almost 1,000 sft. home that currently has no floors and needs a new roof... but ask me and it is my dream home! This home will be ours, for our family and this little home will enable us to do what we now know is the most important - spend time together as a family. We def won't be house poor and it is walking distance to our church. The inspection went well, lots of issues, but all things we were prepared to fix, it's def a project but we will do it together and if any of our friends would like to help, you know where to reach me! I should know a closing date this week.

Third issue is a work one... Tony and his Dad are at it again. The way they like it, father/son duo. They teamed with a Christian man to open a new RV dealership in Ocala. They are excited and it is heartwarming to see that excitement in both of their eyes again. I look at my father in law and I know he has his son's (all three of them)best interest at heart. I look at my husband and I know no matter what, his father is his hero. I know my son will feel the same way someday and for that I am thankful and seeing Marco and Tony together it makes my heart jump, thinking about the future for Tony and Troy. I am so thankful that Marco made the choice to be a leader for his family, I see how Tony learns from his Dad, that's building a legacy people. So, Tony is supposed to begin working in Ocala this week.

So- That is the bundle of change in a few short paragraphs.

Hopefully, I will be able to update more later... some funny stories about how I am preparing to downsize yet again- it's all mental and a little insanity, but I'll share more on that later.

I'm fighting a cold and I'm sure this weather change isn't helping...
Sophia had a rough night (seizure activity of some kind) so I didn't get much sleep.

I got a nap and coffee, now off to the grocery store...

Oh and I got the Christmas Tree up... cute huh? Still more decorations to put up and I have to finish the tree skirt but I couldn't resist posting a photo.

why that verse?

So, I normally wouldn't feel the need but since it came up I figured I'll take the opportunity to share my thought process...

On the Thanksgiving Eve blog I shared this verse,

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

After posting I was asked, why of all the verses I could post about thanksgiving did I post this verse?

I guess as I as standing in my kitchen, warm, clothed, a roof over my head, my heart full of joy I was humbled thinking we are the rich, America is the rich. As I stood in my kitchen, with running water, clean sleeping children in their beds comfortably tucked under their blankets... I thought.

Yes, I shop on a budget, I cut corners, there never seems to be enough money to go round, but we are the rich. We have shelter over our heads, we do not know true hunger- starvation.

You may say... but I can't buy my children all they want for Christmas, I live in a modest home, I work hard for a small amount of money, we struggle, I am not rich?

My car may not be new or expensive but I have a car to get me from here to there, even if I didn't public transportation is available to us in America.

Healthcare, while I complain about the hours I spend on the phone with insurance... I read a story about a woman in Africa who was brutally attacked because of the way she looked, the attackers cut her arms off and she left her to die, with no hospitals to go to, her mother was able to stop the bleeding with a shovel pulled from the fire, mend her wounds, after months of fighting infection she did survive. We, America, have access in emergent needs, it's not perfect but we aren't a village in Africa, that's for sure.

We are the rich...

As I stood there, smelling peanut butter cookies baking in the oven, I began to think about the winter morning I took Sophia for a walk barefoot. She was only three. There was a shoe drive at church and I explained to her how some people don't have shoes. We walked along the driveway she asked if I would hold her, her feet were cold. I remember wanting her to understand that feeling, to know that others are less fortunate and we must think beyond ourselves, beyond our homes and our communities, to help others in need.

We are the rich...

Sometimes God humbles us, He reveals to us a truth that can make us uncomfortable, only to make us better.

So, this verse may have made some wonder why? and maybe even a little uncomfortable?And maybe I didn't do a good job explaining, but as God revealed it to me I wanted to share it with you.

We are the rich.

In writing that verse I was hoping that others would be reminded, the same way I was reminded, where these thanksgiving blessings come from? Our Lord, He deserves all the glory.

"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6

come and gone...

Thanksgiving was a flurry of events

a day of togetherness, praise and blessings abounding.

Good food, great fellowship, and belly laughs that make you gasp for air.

The day came and went so quickly

and like every year memories were made....

a new cooking tradition with my mother in law, fondue and pizza

cooking until 1am Thanksgiving morning,

discovering 'words with friends' and playing until 2am,

the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade,

driving with food (this deserves its own blog),

new and old recipes,

one word- FARKLE,

my children's ability to find every toy in their Nonnie's house,

going from one grandparents house to another,

Turkey legs,

eating with our fingers,

pajama dinners,

Sophia, our little performer

Troy singing "Stain, Stain, Stain on this town..."

my sweet Daddy's belly laughs,

my mom's squeals of laughter,

back home for the Charlie Brown special

not being able to stay awake any longer and falling into my mans arms after a wonderful day.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

29 DAYS, 15 HOURS, 44 SECONDS TILL CHRISTMAS... but who is counting?

Thanksgiving Eve 2011

The house is quiet... a rare moment in the Martinez House.
I'm soaking it in...
My man came home from work a little early, he was completely exhausted...
the kids played 'puppy dog and kitty cat' (a game they can often be found playing)and I snuggled in next to my man, in all of three minutes he was lovingly snoring in my ear.
I got the kids settled in bed earlier than normal.
Candles and Christmas music set the tone for my late night Thanksgiving cooking.
I wasn't planning on blogging until after the holiday but then again I wasn't planning on the house being so still either.
As I tucked my monsters in their beds tonight. I asked them to tell me some of the things they are thankful for.

Troy's list looked something like this (in no particular order)...
Muddy Trucks
Jesus
Sophia being re-dick-a-less (ridiculous)
Mommy and Daddy
Cookies
Poppa's fishing hole
my sister's medicine (I thought this was quite profound)
Chick-a-lay (chick fil a)
my bunk bed with sissy (best investment I ever made!)
my family and my dog

Sophia's list looked something like this (again, no particular order)....
my Daddy
God and Jesus
The Bible
America
the hospitals
Mr. Herb (I am going to have to write a blog about this guy- he seems to make all of Sophia's lists)
homeschool and co-op
my church
my Momma
Mimi, GrandDaddy and Aunt Lannie, my whole family
JazzyBell (our dog)
my fish (his name changes every week, we just call him 'fish')
Christmas
sea horses
I'm just thankful for Thanksgiving

I had to blog these, because there is no way I want to forget this.

We have so much to be thankful for this year. So, much to be thankful for every year. When I think of all the blessings we have, all that we have to be thankful for I think about the verse in Matthew,

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

May we be humbled, while we contemplate on all that we are thankful for don't forget to acknowledge where it comes from. He deserves all the glory.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for...
grace and mercy-
without grace and mercy from our heavenly father we would all fall short. It is through grace we receive the gift of salvation. This has never been more clear in my life. I am also thankful for the grace my family and friends extend from the Father too me, Lord, He knows I need it.
forgiveness-
the one act that we can do that closely aligns us with our savior. freedom and promise that forgiveness gives.
second chances-
as we are about to embark on an opportunity to rebuild our life on this Earth, I am so thankful for the opportunity to start over, the opportunity to do things right
church-
I've prayed many years for a church home where we could plant some roots; where my children could grow, where my husband would feel comfortable and where I could be involved, this year we found that and I could not be happier.
family and friends-
oh my sweet family, we may not always see eye to eye but we love one another. I treasure the lessons our parents instilled in us, while blood is thicker than water, love is thicker than blood. And too my friends, I have many acquaintances but only a few that I would call my friends. I am so blessed by your presence in my life, you truly are the family that God let me pick. :)
I love you all.

Happy Thanksgiving.

2 days and counting...

Today we are going to venture out to the park and have a picnic lunch with friends, then I have some errands to run, back home for a nap and then Christmas Choir practice for me (and the kids) while Tony plays basketball with some friends from church.

I need to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving, my mother in law is coming over to cook with me tomorrow, the days seem to by flying by, I feel like I'm clinging to every moment, these last days of 2011.

This year seems to have flown by quicker than the rest. Why every year does it feel like that?

So, with the hustle and bustle of the season let's not forget what is important,
it's not the centerpiece in the middle of the table but rather who is around it.

If I'm too busy baking to blog, Happy Thanksgiving!

doing for them is good for me

My monsters have been a little under the weather lately.

No real symptom just lots of little things, runny noses, coughing, they seem to need more rest than normal.

Any time children are sick it leave more work for the parent.

My sweet friend has four sick little ones right now. Her days have been filled cooking, cleaning, washing, wiping, it seems never ending...

She says, "they have never all been sick at the same time."

And this momma just wanted them well.

She wanted happy smiles and joyful laughter to fill her home again, and it will but in the meantime she is left doing the dirty work.

As I washed dishes for what seemed like that millionth time, my hands were beginning to crack from being in the water so much during the last two days, I put lotion on my hands and went into the living room to refold the laundry that the dog knocked onto the floor, I stepped on Troy's monster truck and screamed as pain shot from the middle of my foot up my leg, I sat on the floor for a moment rubbing my foot. My focus quickly shifted as I noticed the tiny pieces of purple playdoh that was scattered under the dining room table... yes, it indeed never ends.

And I think, this is what God calls me to do?

In that moment I wanted to throw all the toys into the garage, scream and run through the house like a mad woman, call my husband tell him to come home from work and take care of "his children" so I could escape...

but no, because this is what God calls me to do, to do this with a loving heart, a humble heart, to have grace and mercy, to be their Momma and love them, pick up their toys, wipe their noses, rock that feverish child in the middle of the night.

Doing for them is good for me. It teaches me, it forces me to find strength inside myself and strength in my Lord. Motherhood humbles me, I am better because of the little sacrifices I have made for my children.

Parents are in unique positions if you think about it, we get the opportunity to come as close to understanding God's love for us as anyone can imagine. God's love for us is even more than the love we have for our children.

And in our sick, grumpy, whinny, dirty moments. I am so thankful that he doesn't scream, slam the door and escape His children. He scoops us up, fixes our mistakes, kisses our boo-boos, holds us, makes us better, because we are His children.

As thanksgiving quickly approaches I am so thankful to be His child.

beauty from ashes...

Yesterday was a solemn day,
nothing seemed to go right,
a day to remember,
and as morning broke,
a new sunrise, a breeze in the air
and I want to breath it all in and keep this moment.
My children laughing,
sunshine on my skin,
I want to capture this joy and save it for a day like yesterday.

Isn't that how the Lord intends it to be,
in the hurt and ashes of this life,
I think of a wildfire,
such destruction and loss,



yet, because of the destruction life is born
and a new life springs for the ashes,
and beauty prevails once again.

Though the wildfires of this life bring hurt and destruction,
without them we wouldn't have the opportunity to feel days like today,




The beauty that follows the fires of this life,
While we all face the disappointment of this fallen world,
find peace in knowing beauty will spring from the ashes.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to enable them to fulfill the purpose for which they are called. Romans 8:28

another year

Today marks another year...
Another year that I haven't seen his face...
Heard his laughter...
Another year that I haven't heard him plucking at his guitar.
I miss him, the good that he had.

He was taken from this Earth before I was ready
There was so much left to say
So much left undone.
I needed more time.

I wish I could look back and remember only the good,
but there were dark moments,
hurt, anger, confusion...
He was sick and I didn't understand.

In his death was freedom for him,
he is free from himself,
from the demons that kept him away from us.
In a way he is more with us now than he was before,
And for those he left behind,
an opportunity for understanding and forgiveness
and freedom from the hurt.

Forgiveness offers comfort and allows the good memories to flood in,
providing comfort and peace.

I will never forget singing in the hotel lobby with you,
How you played the guitar while we danced around the house,
How much you loved to cook,
Always wanting the latest and greatest gadgets,
you would love the Wii and youtube,
you'd be so disappointed with Monday Night Football,
You would love Troy's curly hair and that he is left handed.
Sophia would love to dance while you played the guitar, she would remind you of me.

So, while another year has gone
it doesn't get easier,
I just get used to you not being here,
I miss you, I wish we had more time...
I treasure the good memories
and thank God for freedom for you and for me.

Rest in Peace Daddy.
12/29/1953-11/17/2002

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal.

bar soap to liquid soap

Yes my friends, this is a cup of soap... this recipes makes lots so it's a good idea to have an extra container ready.

I have been on this mission with soap for a while now... I love soap! A little too much maybe... I am sure I have spent far too many hours perfecting this project but I think it is finally right...

I have really sensitive skin, I've been making my own laundry detergent with Ivory soap for some time now.

I had seen ways to turn bar soap to a liquid. I wanted to try it... how cool to use Ivory bath bars, Ivory laundry detergent, Ivory hand soap and Ivory body wash... but make it all at home! Ivory everything!

I dunno, but to me this was an exciting thought.

Well, if you search 'bar soap to liquid soap' online you will find 100s of links. The recipes all differ slightly and after trying a number of them and failing miserably -my neighbor was my test subject- thank you Sarah for trying my soap :)

I think... I have finally figured it out.

Things you will need:
Cheese grater
1 bar of soap (IVORY!)
1tsp vegetable glycerin
1tsp honey
5 cups of water

And here we go...

Grate the bar down so that it melts quicker


Boil water, add soap, glycerin and honey, stirring continually till soap melts




Once melted, let cool 20 minutes or so, it will just look like soapy water, my husband was a bit concerned as I cooked soap...


Once cool, pour into a blender- this is when the glycerin takes effect and it gets that 'store bought soap texture'-use the whip setting on your blender only about 20-30 seconds


This will cause it to foam up quite a bit, let it sit for 15 minutes or so and it will being to take a thicker consistancy as it cools.


Pour into containers and use! It will thicken as the hours pass, it really takes about 24 hours to 'look' like store bought but it works just the same.


Doesn't a little spray paint do wonders for a recycled plastic soap dispenser?

This recipes also doubles as great body wash. I got these cute containers at Target, back by the pharmacy for 89 cents.



And clean up is a breeze because everything is already covered in soap...

a testimony of motherhood

So, I almost feel guilty for following this amazing blog about my husband making this life changing decision to follow Christ with this one...

but ya know, life is real...

I'd be totally lying to say that yesterday after church our children acted like little saints and we enjoyed a calm peaceful meal as a family after church and we spent the day loving on one another in a peaceful and relaxing afternoon.

Yes, not quite..
I mean we did have a lovely afternoon and enjoyed being together, but in true Martinez Family fashion... there was no candlelight dinners or peaceful lunches... we jumped on the trampoline, wrestled with the kids, lots of screaming and lots of laughter.
Tony was tearful and I think just emotionally exhausted (I have his permission to say that, as long as I never bring it up again).
It was a great day, a day of praising our Lord and lifting up my man.

So, now... a testimony... of motherhood...

I promised my mom I wouldn't blog about this but it really is too funny and too real not to share with my closest friends and whoever else might read this and find humor in this very real part of being a mom with small children.

Saturday, Tony worked all day.
The kids and I had errands to run, lots of running around.
We left the house at 9 and went to the pharmacy, to the grocery store, to my grandparents house, back home to put dinner in the crockpot and eat lunch, then out again to hit up the fabric shop (great sales over Veteran's Day Weekend), then to another store so the kids could spend their money and get a small toy. Then when Tony got home my mom, grandma and I headed to Lowes...

So- while we were out running all these errands I kept smelling a strange smell...

(yes, mom, I'm going to blog about this- I know, I know).

I couldn't tell what the smell was, you know that smell when you leave your clothes in the washer for too long?

It was kinda' like that...

I kept smelling my shirt, it really wasn't my shirt...

I was smelling my hair,

I have told people before that my hair captures scents, if we are at a BBQ or a bonfire my hair will hold onto the scent for days, even when I wash it...

I kept smelling my hair, it wasn't my hair...

I couldn't figure out where this scent was coming from but there was most definitely a scent...

I kept asking the kids, do you smell that?

Surely I wasn't the only one too smell it?

we ran errands all morning and after lunch the scent was getting worse...

By this point I thought I was going crazy,

I was smelling everything around me.

Why was I the only one smelling it?

I scratched my neck and this orange slime was on my hand, under my nails...
I smelled it... the scent!

What in the world!?

Well, come to find out... earlier that morning Troy was begging for a cheese stick, I decided this wasn't a battle worth fighting so a cheese stick for breakfast was fine with me...

My son, my son... he put the left over cheese stick in my shirt...

this is Troy's safe place for all things important.

I've gone to Publix with a HotWheels in my bra

church only to find a toy solider stuffed in my top

but a cheese stick takes it to a whole new level...

I've had applesauce in my hair

green beans on my pants

even a fruit chew stuck on the bottom of my shoe

but a cheese stick in my bra!?

I screamed once I realized what it was melted all inside my shirt and my neck.

Troy giggled and I wondered how many people noticed this melted cheese on my chest and failed to inform me?

My only comfort was I had been wearing a jacket most of the morning...

OOOOHHH TROY!!!

So, needless to say, I got a shower and we were off again and no more cheese sticks for Troy.

Isn't motherhood just the greatest?

moving mountains...

a sigh of relief...
a prayer of praise...
long awaited...
a day of accepting grace.

Grace that is free to everyone, all you must do is choose Him.

This wife has prayed long and hard for this day to come...

an answered prayer today...

The song, "Savior he can move the mountains..." I've sang this many times, pleading with God to move the mountain... and before we got to the chorus that mountain got to moving...

My sweet and loving husband made the most important decision today...

oh how sweet this victory was.

Tears of joy...

I asked why now?

and he said "why fight something that I know is right?"

This man who hasn't cried in over ten years...

he wipes the tears away, saying, "I don't know why I'm crying"

glorious day...

it's is supposed to be emotional, it should bring us to our knees, God is that mighty and His gift is eternal...

I cannot wait to see what the future holds for this leader, this man, I am proud to call my husband.

Veteran's Day Lesson

I really like homeschooling. I think that every parent should consider themselves a homeschooling family, even if their children go to school, reason being... because children need to learn from home, they need to learn from their parents. It is our duty to teach our children whether they go to public school, private school, homeschool, whatever... the foundation should be built at home.

I was thinking today, some of the most meaningful teaching opportunities we have as parents are when our children are home. Thanksgiving, Christmas... important holidays, great teaching opportunities and our children are not in school but when they are at home.

Veteran's Day is coming up, this is not going to be a day off, rather a special day to learn and celebrate those who served and serve our country... we will be learning about the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. We will right a thank you card and take it to a Veteran. We will call Daddy, Nonnie, Poppa, Uncle Matt and Great Poppa thanking them for the time they spent serving our country.

As I was thinking about our Veteran's Day plans I was thinking, this day should not be viewed a free day, it is not just a day to be out of school. As many of my friends are planning what they are going to do with the day off, I hope you take the opportunity to teach your child/children what this day off is really all about. We need to not let the hustle of life keep us from taking time to teach our children important lessons. We should take advantage of the opportunities and teach them what these important dates are really about.

So to share with my homeschool friends and my non-homeschooling friends. This is the Veteran's Day Packet we will be working on this Friday. I hope you can find something useful and take a little time to remember what the day is about and share it with your children.

A Mother's Heart is a Child's Classroom

i love this picture of my momma...

harvest season...

I haven't felt much of the holiday spirit yet, maybe it's the weather (it's been warm), maybe it's too soon in the season, maybe it's the uncertainty of change in the air, maybe it's all the sickness we've been fighting, who knows?

This time of year makes me think about my father, he died November 17, 2002. His birthday was just after Christmas and I always think of him this time of year. I always get a little bit blue during this time of year, early in the season and then it wears off...

Fall festivities began early in October, the fall festival at church, trick or treating with the monsters. I have been busy going and doing but not much feeling...

I just haven't felt like myself and this fall season hasn't felt all warm and "cinnamony" like it normally does. (yes, "cinnamony" is a great word that describes how I feel about fall)

The last two weeks included surgery for my Momma and Grandmomma. They are recovering just fine. Last night I was getting a few groceries for the patients and as I was leaving the store I got a text message from a friend, inviting us for a night of fellowship, celebrating the fall harvest season. I called Tony to see if he was interested in going, he said yes... so we made plans to go.

She didn't know that I had been feeling down. But this gesture of friendship lifted my spirits and was just what I needed...

warmth of the bonfire, good food, fellowship with friends, family and yes... that "cinnamony" kind of feeling.

There is so much to be thankful for, so many blessings... I'm so glad November is here. I love a time when people focus on being thankful and grateful for this life and all that God has provided us with, to Him be the glory.

Glory!

change

My man always says the only thing that is constant in this world is change.

He knows I hate change

He tries to comfort me with these words

I know he is right... this life has continually brought change to us.

I have been struggling lately as we prepare for another change

I wouldn't call it comfort, but I find understanding when I recognize that everyone experiences change, that the only thing that is constant in this world is change, I get it, it helps a little... but as I focus in on the words my man says...

this world, the only thing constant in this world...

I am not of this world... I live in this world but I am of His world and in His world He is constant, never changing, He is the rock.

So while I may struggle with the change of this world I find peace in the constancy of my God.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. -Hebrews 13:8

how it goes sometimes...

This morning I woke up with a headache

I just didn't feel like doing much of anything



But my terrible twosome were up and ready for trouble

After an hour of entertaining them with the life sucker (the TV)



I decided I needed to get moving

I had planned on making some homemade playdoh




It was really the last thing I felt like doing

We had all of the ingredients and I thought the kids would enjoy it



Counts as some homeschool science and math so with coffee in one hand, camera in the other we got to work

Some days even with the best of intentions and preparation chaos erupts



The kids were bickering

No one wanted to sit still and listen while I talked about two 1/2s making a whole or how to get 2tsps you need to scoop the 1tsp measuring spoon 2 times...



I wasn't being fair to let Troy pour the water

and Sophia got more time stirring the pot on the stove than Troy did



Did I mention the blue food coloring was teal and not blue...

Yea, sometimes it doesn't go how we want it too...



We melted a plastic spider on the stove top...

Did I mention I still have headache?

On positive note:
The playdoh turned out great so here is the recipe we used...

Homemade Playdoh

1 Cup Water
1 Cup Flour
1/2 Cup Salt
2tsp Cream of Tarter
Food Coloring

Mix ingredients in a pot, stir over medium heat until ball forms and pulls away from the sides.

Enjoy!

One on One

Yesterday my man was home...

lots needed to be done

and lots got accomplished.

There was plenty of running around on this day

Chores to be done, rooms to be cleaned out, plenty more to do...

Yet special time was spent with each parent and each child



Sophia got to run errands with Momma and then go to church and have dinner with Daddy

Troy got to work with Daddy and then spend an evening with Momma



We spend many days together but not much time is spent with one child at a time

Yesterday was special time...

Not a special activity but just special time...

time spent enjoying the kids one on one

Sophia is growing up so quickly she loved walking with Momma in the stores



I bought her a soda, she didn't say anything but I could tell it made her feel grown up...

it was nice to enjoy the simple moments like drinking a soda with her.

Troy is such a sweet guy, he keeps reminding me, "I'm four now"



He wants to be big "like Sissy" We made pizza, snuggled and read books and watched Power Rangers, I think he enjoyed the freedom of this one on one time.

Today, Daddy is back to work

First thing this morning Troy wanted Sophia to watch the Power Ranger movie he watched last night.. he doesn't want her to miss out.

She really wasn't interested but seeing his excitement- they are on the couch together watching the episode.

I hear them making plans about what they are going to do today, play dogs, jump on the trampoline, play in the playroom...

I'm glad they like being together

not typical

A group of mothers scrambled to get lunches packed, children fed, dressed and in the car...

They made preparations to take their children out...

a field trip, to a farm...

Blue shirts scattered the lawn of the farm...

Parents wrangled children and followed instruction...



The farmer was able to share with the children things that most children don't get to experience...

He said it was because they followed instruction so well...



The mothers looked at one another and rolled their eyes...

At lunch he complimented their healthy meals...

The mothers looked around and giggled at the meals that most of them frantically tossed into the cooler, with love, while kid wrangling and running out the door...

When the tour of the farm was over the children ran full speed ahead to the giant sand hill...



The mothers followed behind carrying bags packed with cups and snacks and extra clothes...

They sighed and smiled at a successful field trip and a day well done...

The farmer complimented the children again, he said "they were so well behaved, not typical behavior"

He called us a great mommy group...

How proud was I to say, "we aren't a mommy group, we are home-schoolers"

Not typical...

I don't want to be typical...

despite their differences, the common thread between these moms...

we do not want our children to be typical...

The reason we do what we do...

Why we sacrifice...

Because we don't want our children to be typical...

Extraordinary... Representing our God... Respectful... Kind... and atypical..

that's what I want for my kids.



So proud of Potter's Clay Co-op Today! You kids are amazing!

I hope you parents realize what a wonderful compliment our children's behavior was to us- to our parenting today...



Next time you have a 'pull your hair out- send the kids to school- kind of day'... remember this day and know you are doing a great job!!

learning together...

I love homeschooling my children...

I think it is important to provide them with a solid foundation...

equip them to do great things...

it just feels right, like this is how it is meant to be.

Ask me 7 years ago if I thought I would be a homeschooling parent and I would have said no way!

7 years ago I was going to school to be a teacher, little did I know I would be teaching my own...

We learn together...

We learn about the Earth, the power of sunlight, mammals, carnivores, herbivores...

We read... We count... We explore... but even more than that we learn how to be together...

Today was unexpected. Today was a day unlike most, we got up, had no plans, no school work on the schedule...

We went to drop something off to a friend and realized Troy had left his sneakers at Mimi's farm...

We drove over to the farm to get his shoes

As always on the farm if you look around there is work to be done...

so we did some...

We worked for a bit... we played a bit little longer...

Troy rode in the Jeep with GrandDaddy... he ate a cucumber that GrandDaddy cut with his pocket knife...

Sophia found an apple and shared it with a horse...

We went to visit the Great Grandparents...

Troy stole some candy from GiGi

We counted hay bails and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

We came home and made chili for tonight's supper.

We went to the playground and found a beetle,



They ran around,

I pushed them on the swings,

We sang songs and talked about Jesus...

We investigated the beetle again before going home Troy tried to bring it back to life, it didn't work...




We found out our friends are sick, we made them cookies which we will drop off in a few hours...

Today is a day that there were no lessons planned but we are learning together about life, taking care of one another, helping each other, praising God in everything we do... and what lesson we could learn in a book is greater than that?

My two are snuggled together on the couch enjoying an afternoon movie...

And I think... this is how it is supposed to be...

They are mine, they won't be mine forever, but while they are I will treasure the moments... teach them, love them, learn them... and we will do this together... because that is how our family is supposed to be.